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RL Advice You Wish You Were Given

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I was inspired by the "rp you were you been given" thread and thought "Hey, why not make a rl version of it!"

So is there any advice you wish you were given or advice you'd give to your past self? Maybe advice you'd give to yourself now? For me, it's:

1) Never be afraid of rejection.

2) Learn to take risks, even if they never work out.

3) It's okay to mess up, you're not perfect.

4) It's okay to ask for help, even if you think your questions are stupid.
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Hmmmm.. if I would give 10 year old me some advice:

1) Don't be afraid to speak out and stand up for yourself, you never know who could be watching and could take inspiration.

2) Introduce yourself to people and cling to them like a burr.

3) Step out of your comfort zone and don't be afraid to take risks.

4) Aim for the stars, nobody can tell you that your dreams are stupid.

5) Ask for help! Don't push away older people's advice and answers to questions you have.
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1) Don't follow the herd, think for yourself, and discover what matters to you. If you cater yourself into an "acceptable" version of you just so people will accept you, you may become insecure, unsure, and not very content.

2) Parents are wonderful (and I'm grateful to mine fyi), but their words aren't God. Don't let them shame you, and don't let them tell you what you want to do is nothing but a pipe a dream no matter how big or somall that thing is. Chances are, they're just projecting how they feel about themselves onto you.

3) You don't have to know what you want to do straight away. Step out of your shell and experience new things, you just might discover more about yourself.

4) Don't limit yourself. There's no reason you can't do everything you do with everything you've got. You might learn a new skill you can foster.

5) Fine lines start to appear in your 20's. xD Your face and body goes through more changes around then, too.

6) Meet people part way, especially after or during a tiff. Don't just push them away.
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6) Meet people part way, especially after or during a tiff. Don't just push them away.



Mmmph, I feel this on a visceral level. I definitely have been guilty of being cut throat- you cross me once and we're done. It's only recently that I've learned that "Maybe its not that serious?" and to give people some slack. Sometimes their apparent lack of consideration is just them being distracted with their own complex narratives. Who knew?

One advice I would give myself (or anyone struggling with feeling worthy of things) is to just flat out try. Even if you're told no, a rejection stings a lot less than not trying. Well, it might- but it passes faster than the lingering regret of "what if?"!
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wow u guys all have such nice ones

I wish I would have told myself this stuff in the past, but they also apply to my life rn because I never learn from my past mistakes |D

1) dont try to be so popular, you’re not gonna have fun, just stick w the people who make you happiest

2) but also: don’t be afraid to move on if you don’t feel happy, because it may suck for a while but it’s worth it 10/10

3) rejection only sucks for a little bit, and then you get over it. its not that bad honestly, so just throw urself out there

4) don’t be so hecking annoying. you’re so hecking annoying. don’t be so needy omg

5) staring at boys and whispering your friends how much you like them while also sounding like a headless chicken whenever you are within 20 feet of them is NOT cute. no. stop. learn to flirt (has not happened yet I am still a headless chicken)

6) oh yeah and when you’re growing out your bangs, don’t wear those wide fabric headbands 24/7 that was not a good phase

last edit on Mar 20, 2019 6:03:53 GMT by Abby
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Raging and anger responses in general will get you nowhere in life.

There's a difference between assertive and total jerk, and I didn't comprehend that difference for a very long time. Just because people react with the same negativity to both in a lot of instances does not mean that they are not different and that third parties do not perceive them to be different.

The goal of an argument is never to convince the other person, but the audience. If you're not arguing with an audience or a third party you're trying to convince, the argument is pointless. The only exception to the above is family and significant others, who you kinda have to live with so you can't get around that. Other than that, though? Don't waste your time trying to change an individual's mind because it happens so rarely and is almost never worth the effort. There's a difference between someone who actively wants to make an informed decision and those who just like picking fights and it took me way too long to understand the difference.

You can't eat your moral high ground. Your moral high ground does not pay bills and does not improve your life. Quitting or stepping down when faced with injustice is all well and good, but there needs to be a backup plan and you need to realize you didn't solve anything by doing it. Patting yourself on the back for being 'the good person' doesn't get you very far. Sometimes working against the stream for a bit can actually help people, and that should always be tried before just cutting bait with no backup plan or alternative in mind.

You might feel trapped where you're at right now, but later in life you'll have opportunities to move across the country a few times on a whim and spoiler alert most of the places suck if your mindset also sucks. Changing environments is only a temporary solution to the real problem of a bad attitude. Your ego is your worst enemy, not mean people or fate or bad luck or anything else.

You're an above average student, but nobody will ever care about that in your entire life except for your mom and your ego. Basing your self worth on grades will never help you, and will just cause you a lot of unnecessary stress.

Pls don't play football. I don't care what your coaches tell you, 135lbs is not big enough to be on the line and you're going to destroy your shoulder. Your future self will thank you and you'll save yourself a couple of concussions too. It doesn't matter if you win the starter spot if you're injured the entire year because your joints are made of glass, and you're not playing college ball because you're just not that athletic. Do running instead, you're better at it and will get hurt way less.
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If failure isn't an option, why do I still get it?
I spent a good amount of time writing up a depressing ass essay but I decided to shorten it to spare the details lmaoo.

Stop doing things for people's approval.

Do things that make you happy. Do things that you want to do. It's okay to be selfish for a little bit, after all, you should be your own priorities for the sake of your being. If people aren't able to please you or live up to your expectations, why the hell are you trying so hard to please those types of people? Focus on you first.
last edit on Mar 22, 2019 2:36:52 GMT by june
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they pull the axe out your face and say "was it the boogeyman?"
1. people don't care that you don't like pop music
2. if you suspect that you might have depression, you should proooooooooooooobably do something about it
3. don't chop off your hair a week before prom
4. check up on your friends, even if you don't think they need it
5. your niche interests don't make you better than anyone else

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Ven, Ven, Ven.

- parents are there to really dampen your expectations on life, boy I got a rude wake-up call when everything wasn't all sunshine and flowers
- it's alright to be insecure about things. Ven, seriously
- it's pefectly fine to cry. WHY.
- learn how to take rejection like a grown man, Ven, you're not a kid anymore.
- someone pls teach me to stop eating I'm doing it again, pls stop stress-eating Ven WHY.

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don't live your life in fear of losing others
it's OK to be sad.
do not get stuck in a place of negativity and anxiety (still learning this one)
those "friends"? not friends! do you think you're better off alone??? sometimes.
honestly & truly do not linger in stress. it's dangerous af and unnecessary.
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The fastest way to become important or move up is to become the 'it' person. Whether that means knowing information or redirecting people doesn't matter; just being reliable enough is good enough in most cases.



However, as great as that is, this will quickly become a burden as your time is exponentially split apart as being the 'it' person. The best way to mitigate this is to start a queue, set boundaries, and use your power as the 'it' person to train someone who's hungry to help become your replacement. Delegating out work loosely and prettying it up with 'ownership mentality' is an easy out.

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The fastest way to become important or move up is to become the 'it' person. Whether that means knowing information or redirecting people doesn't matter; just being reliable enough is good enough in most cases.



However, as great as that is, this will quickly become a burden as your time is exponentially split apart as being the 'it' person. The best way to mitigate this is to start a queue, set boundaries, and use your power as the 'it' person to train someone who's hungry to help become your replacement. Delegating out work loosely and prettying it up with 'ownership mentality' is an easy out.

This 100%

Goes without saying using proper grammar and punctuation and all that, even in the Discord or cbox, can help to cultivate that appearance too

Of course maybe you don't want to be staff or have to help people all the time, and just as important as what Spirole said is getting close to staff/important plotmakers. Maybe it's not always pretty or "fair", but rp is ultimately still a social experience - cliques and things like them do actually exist.

At the very least, if you annoy, irritate, or piss off the staff or most important players then you're not going to be getting anywhere 

In that case, I'd hope you like soloing or perpetually making "let's go get ice cream!" threads  
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The fastest way to become important or move up is to become the 'it' person. Whether that means knowing information or redirecting people doesn't matter; just being reliable enough is good enough in most cases.



However, as great as that is, this will quickly become a burden as your time is exponentially split apart as being the 'it' person. The best way to mitigate this is to start a queue, set boundaries, and use your power as the 'it' person to train someone who's hungry to help become your replacement. Delegating out work loosely and prettying it up with 'ownership mentality' is an easy out.

This 100%

Goes without saying using proper grammar and punctuation and all that, even in the Discord or cbox, can help to cultivate that appearance too

Of course maybe you don't want to be staff or have to help people all the time, and just as important as what Spirole said is getting close to staff/important plotmakers. Maybe it's not always pretty or "fair", but rp is ultimately still a social experience - cliques and things like them do actually exist.

At the very least, if you annoy, irritate, or piss off the staff or most important players then you're not going to be getting anywhere 

In that case, I'd hope you like soloing or perpetually making "let's go get ice cream!" threads  


OH SHIT WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT RP.


i wrote this shit about work work. .....
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This 100%

Goes without saying using proper grammar and punctuation and all that, even in the Discord or cbox, can help to cultivate that appearance too

Of course maybe you don't want to be staff or have to help people all the time, and just as important as what Spirole said is getting close to staff/important plotmakers. Maybe it's not always pretty or "fair", but rp is ultimately still a social experience - cliques and things like them do actually exist.

At the very least, if you annoy, irritate, or piss off the staff or most important players then you're not going to be getting anywhere 

In that case, I'd hope you like soloing or perpetually making "let's go get ice cream!" threads  
OH SHIT WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT RP.


i wrote this shit about work work. .....
No it's k I'm the idiot lmao 

Rl not rp 



New advice: read more carefully

I guess most of it still applies if you just make it about work or smnth
last edit on Mar 3, 2021 23:40:44 GMT by Phantasm
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