what's on your mind: RP Edition

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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 23, 2024 21:23:13 GMT
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Feb 23, 2024 18:07:15 GMT said:
General thought: it should be normalized for roleplayers to change their minds.

<snip>
^^^^

It's okay to disappoint anyone -- they're allowed to feel whatever they feel in reaction, but that doesn't mean you did something wrong. Communicating things like this is a gift and I have gained so much respect for people who have been this honest with me about changing their minds and so on. The right types of people, maybe even the people who you will likely write with for the longest, or have the most fun with writing, will understand that sometimes things just don't work, or you change your mind, or any number of things. And by doing this, you can ensure who you're writing is more comfortable with being honest about these things with you, maybe you'll help someone realize that they don't have to drag themselves along as well.

It's hard to communicate stuff like this, but it's worth it especially because it's not easy. You need to be considerate of yourself, and by being considerate of yourself, you are also being considerate of others while not giving up your enjoyment of this hobby. Most people don't want to drag someone along to do something they don't want, there's been threads talking about fearing this very thing on this site before. Most people don't want you to be miserable when they write with you. And if someone does, somehow, seem to want that? That's on them. If someone lashes out at you for you just...changing your mind? That's on them to control how they handle and express their emotions, not you. But by trying to avoid any and all possible conflict entirely, you can end up causing more of it for yourself.

I'm adding something, somewhat related to the quote, but not entirely:

It's really hard to leave sites that have communities that have been welcoming, that I have even enjoyed writing on, but for various reasons can't stay. Every time I consider leaving without saying a word -- ghosting, as one may say -- but I know I'll regret it if I don't say anything. So, as anxious as I am about writing goodbye messages, or absence leaves, I can't see myself doing anything but doing that save for rare cases where I was genuinely treated badly. It's a relief, knowing I at least offered some sort of closure (I like to list what happens with my characters etc.). It's one of those things that make you think will get easier the more you do it, but nah, it's hard every time and worth it every time alongside. I don't think ghosting in the RPC is always that big of deal when other people do it, regardless of situation, but I just find this route more emotionally rewarding and as a way to better my communication skills. It does suck, of course, having to leave, or having people vanish, but it is what it is.
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 3:29:55 GMT
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Between pushing two characters together just because they had a positive thread to making ships together to simply having another roleplayer you know handles shipping well - ships are just weird and people shouldn’t really be as bothered by them as they tend to get.

I once got approached by someone new to a site, plotting with a random character off my roster they seemed to like, then randomly got upset when that character was not available to be shipped with. The character was clearly marked as shipped in their profile ans whom with. They then immediately left after complaining that I and X member were “too close of friends”.
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 4:43:20 GMT
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Feb 25, 2024 4:19:10 GMT said:
casually wondering if rp'ers imagine their characters as cartoons or actual people in their heads
Real people for me? Mostly? It would make an interesting discussion topic.

I dreamed I wrote a specific post earlier today, and I'm mildly upset that it wasn't done when I woke up.
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 5:36:29 GMT
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Feb 25, 2024 4:19:10 GMT said:
casually wondering if rp'ers imagine their characters as cartoons or actual people in their heads

also rip to cttw :/
Does the rl rp community have another resource site? cttw was goated :<
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 6:50:10 GMT via mobile
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maybe wallace being my fav was foreshadowing
I want to get back to rping some dramatic serious stuff so my character can recommend a traumatized character therapy in a genuine manner bc nothing warms my heart more than my fictional loved ones understanding the importance of mental health bc i, the author, am dumping my trauma on them

Edit: also partners providing mental health support is so sexy and spicy like mmmm yes tell me more about that trustworthy therapist and about the book you’re reading regarding ptsd and anxiety
last edit on Feb 25, 2024 7:09:58 GMT by yaoi for cowards


【 POKEMON EVOLUTION: TERRORS 】
(latest update: 8/28 wall of update)
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 7:30:04 GMT
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Feb 25, 2024 3:29:55 GMT said:
Between pushing two characters together just because they had a positive thread to making ships together to simply having another roleplayer you know handles shipping well - ships are just weird and people shouldn’t really be as bothered by them as they tend to get.

I once got approached by someone new to a site, plotting with a random character off my roster they seemed to like, then randomly got upset when that character was not available to be shipped with. The character was clearly marked as shipped in their profile ans whom with. They then immediately left after complaining that I and X member were “too close of friends”.
Shipping is weird. You get the best stories from shipping, and also the wildest drama from shipping. I think what has helped me the most is realizing everyone wants different things from ships. So I communicate the kind of shipper I am ASAP, hoping to avoid situations where I won't match expectations and vice versa.

I used to think, oh, we can just write and vibe something out and see what happens~! But doing that, without fail, created so much drama for me in my formative roleplay years. There's an assumption that a 'good' ship partner will do XYZ, and everyone has a different idea of what that 'good' ship partner looks like -- I've even met people who only consider 'ships' something has a cemented endgame, which I found surprising (I use the term much more loosely).

It's funny how something so simple can become complicated for people so quickly.
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 7:47:02 GMT
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Feb 25, 2024 4:19:10 GMT said:
casually wondering if rp'ers imagine their characters as cartoons or actual people in their head


I only animanga rp because I like zany physics, hairstyles, and hair/eye colors that wouldn't make any sense in real life, so... cartoon all the way
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 8:39:24 GMT via mobile
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maybe wallace being my fav was foreshadowing
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Feb 25, 2024 7:30:04 GMT said:
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Feb 25, 2024 3:29:55 GMT said:
Between pushing two characters together just because they had a positive thread to making ships together to simply having another roleplayer you know handles shipping well - ships are just weird and people shouldn’t really be as bothered by them as they tend to get.

I once got approached by someone new to a site, plotting with a random character off my roster they seemed to like, then randomly got upset when that character was not available to be shipped with. The character was clearly marked as shipped in their profile ans whom with. They then immediately left after complaining that I and X member were “too close of friends”.
Shipping is weird. You get the best stories from shipping, and also the wildest drama from shipping. I think what has helped me the most is realizing everyone wants different things from ships. So I communicate the kind of shipper I am ASAP, hoping to avoid situations where I won't match expectations and vice versa.

I used to think, oh, we can just write and vibe something out and see what happens~! But doing that, without fail, created so much drama for me in my formative roleplay years. There's an assumption that a 'good' ship partner will do XYZ, and everyone has a different idea of what that 'good' ship partner looks like -- I've even met people who only consider 'ships' something has a cemented endgame, which I found surprising (I use the term much more loosely).

It's funny how something so simple can become complicated for people so quickly.



I’ve been lucky in that, growing up in the rp com, i usually threw shipping plots like halloween candy, not knowing they could blow up in my face. i’ve only had two negative exp, and they were from toxic folks, so it was a dodged a bullet kind + it wasn’t a grey matter ir a misunderstanding; they’re just a-holes.

I learned a lot more from the horror stories from the rpers around me, and so while i still threw shipping plots around like nothing, i always slide in my expectations and desire for open communication. Esp when playing with canons, i bring up the topic of ship immediately in a light but productive manner. No memes, hints or anything. I sit down with them to straighten out what they and i want like it’s a business proposition

I really wish it was the ideal where we can just have fun at our fictional characters navigating relationships but it it isnt really that bad either having to go through a highly practical approach. Once you get it out of the way, you can meme and be free. And if they hadnt been honest with you or something simply didnt work out despite the efforts, that’s true for any plot, or any project with cooperation. The important thing is you tried and you werent blindsided.

tl;dr ships are great but you never want to deal with the drama of it esp the horror of being a staff in a site with shipping drama because god. It’s so stupid and childish. It’s no different than kids arguing about the direction of their make-believe playtime. Except with kids, you can try to help them realize what went wrong and how to do things better. With adults, they’re stubborn and more affected bu feelings of imagined rejection


【 POKEMON EVOLUTION: TERRORS 】
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 13:55:45 GMT
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— Adding to the shipping commentary, I just don’t wanna quote so I don’t have to snip.

I feel shipping really depends on person and attachment levels at times. I have higher attachment and usually if that person is close to me and their character is very important to mine, I won’t ship the character multiple times. I know that might be a little odd, but my characters live in my brain and are not against whining, threatening or getting increasingly upset while telling me who they’re one and only is. ^^’ Not that I mind since a lot of the time, I struggle to see that character with anyone else— and usually mark their ship/relationship sections as ‘no’, ‘off-site’ and ‘n/a’.

However, because of this I have not shipped with new people in a long time. This being said, I do try to communicate who is an ‘easy ship’ and who is a ‘hard ship’. There are times my characters lack hard preferences, so I communicate ‘these traits probably would make turn aways’ and leave it at that; mostly cause this character and myself am not picky about the romantic partner. Alternatively, my harder to ship characters or potential slow-burning ships I always say something. My character decides the mood, thoughts and feelings toward the other after all, so I don’t want to lock in if this particular and probably aloof character may pull a full 180.

I think in general there needs to be an understanding that sometimes ships will not work out. Sometimes the RP partner is not ideal for your caliber of ships (for example, I usually avoid writing nsfw content with random people) and other times the character decided to pull an abrupt ‘nope’ and change there mind. Nowadays, only lock out ins for ships I do are usually with my close friends and my girlfriend since I trust them to hear me out when things are not going well. Or additionally listen to my characters wants, needs, etc. I also find them willing to do ‘chemistry tests’ if we are not sure about the characters getting along. Whether it is due to mind being in a complicated situation or there’s.

So yeah, I think shipping can be a communication fiasco of people not realizing what they want from the shipping partner or alternatively tunnel visioning on what they want as the only ideal. It is why communicating wants, habits, character reactions, etc are important off the bat to establish a good basis. I also think there is no shame in just shipping with friends if you are worried about miscommunications or had bad experiences. People are people after all and at times with communicative hobbies there can be a lot of difficulties in finding people considered ‘right for your vibe’ or struggles depending on the scale of misunderstandings.
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 17:02:11 GMT
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I feel like I’m a bit out of bounds when it comes down to any discussion regarding how romance ships are treated in this community. Mainly because I haven’t been in it for long, and I prefer to join smaller communities than I tend to join large ones.

It’s been quite a bit of adjusting. I started with RP with my friends, small niche sites I ran mostly-solo, and with Animal RP, which means the way I approach things and the way I think of RP is a bit different compared to what those expect with more history in AM. People have expected me to act/think in ways I wasn’t even aware of were the commonplace expectations, which has lead to confusion. I’ve realized that a lot of people are quite cautious based on terrible experiences, and I can understand that, but I'm also someone with my own unique experiences -- just like everyone else, regardless of shared community or not.

I’m still not really used to the concept of shipping and how it’s treated in the RPC. I don’t tend to call them ships since I’m simply not used to that lingo (I’ve had to get used to a lot of new terms), and I don’t have any concept of written-in-stone finals for characters. I’m willing to be considerate for others, but I don’t like someone feeling any sense of possession over my characters. There’s a difference between attached and being possessive, and I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt. I don't think attachment and enthusiasm alone is a red flag, nor is the perceived lack of it either since I prefer to trust that people will communicate when something is wrong, or that they should learn to. As I like to say: reading between the lines is for the writing, not for out-of-character communication.

Then again, this is also from the perspective of someone who enjoys writing exes/divorced/troubled/etc couples more, tragic endings, and have written unhealthy dynamics more than healthy ones. I like to rile up in-character conflict, but I know not everyone wants the same, or the same types. I’m also perfectly fine never writing any romance at all, as it’s not my focus -- some of my longest-term RPs in the past were ones where my character never got into any romance.

I generally like to go with the flow—I don’t tend to have many issues with what others tend to want to write, but that itself can become an issue when the expectations become that I’m always cool with anything. There’s been some dissonance in the past when I do say “no” or have changed my mind, but I’ve yet to be involved in any OOC shipping drama, and I’m thankful for that. :sob: Please do give me the IC conflict though, I revel in it.

I’m glad to have found some communities populated by people with similar values.
last edit on Feb 25, 2024 17:04:54 GMT by Wraith
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 21:10:18 GMT
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god, i loooove in-character interpersonal drama (including related to ships and romance!!), but i feel like it really does require a high level of separation from ic and ooc to navigate. interpersonal conflict is easily my favorite thing to play (i... like writing the 'bad guy', it's fun to play villains whether outright or not) but it gets really, really awkward when someone can't separate themselves from their character, and it always makes me a little anxious about threading with characters that i Know my character won't be polite to/won't interact well with. i promise it's not a personal attack!! they're just rude!!!! T.T

surprisingly, this was always Really bad in animal rp/warrior cats rp back in the day... maybe it's because it was so heavy on the physical conflict aspects too
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what's on your mind: RP Edition written Feb 25, 2024 22:07:28 GMT
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i think the only time i've ever felt really "possessive" of a partner is when i was RP'ing a trans woman character getting with my partner's at-the-time cis male character, and some random person I didn't know in the guild started talking about how cute it would be if the male character that my character was having a very obvious will-they-won't-they thing going down with would be better getting with another cis male character, tbh. it felt kinda like a slap in the face, like??? my partner's character didn't even like that guy, and this stranger is talking about how much better it would be if they got together instead. it felt. weirdly rude, especially given my history of experiencing misogyny in RP, and transmisogyny on top of that.

it was less "possessiveness" i guess and more "oh, so I guess I'm chopped liver, huh. I guess this dynamic I'm writing with this character isn't good enough because she's not a cis man, huh."
last edit on Feb 25, 2024 22:08:33 GMT by illidan main

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