starting to realize that OH, that's why this particular subject of discussion causes me to shut down, grow jaded, or completely exhausted! it affected me more than i thought it did, hit a deeply personal part of my anxiety and perceptions of self, and this might actually be a bit of a traumatic experience that won't sit right with me for a damn long time? who would have thought?

jesus, no wonder i compartmentalize so much.

note to self: taking breaks to self-internalize and just assess like. your whole psyche. isn't that bad actually. at least now i get the root of the problem. so that's something useful.

torn between the question of whether im trying harder than i should be or if im still not doing enough. we really do hate these shutdown episodes. they aint it.

note to self: relearn how to be gentle @ myself because at this rate i am like 5 seconds away from complete shutdown and collapse. This is Fine and i'll be beating up my burnout in your local denny's @ 6pm.

it'd also be nice to remember what its like to have a general interest over, like, anything lmao. god help me.

i'm so tired, man.

this is your regularly scheduled "nightlock screams over uni paper writing" program

[screams]

thank u for ur time.

as someone who does both forum rp and dnd as a dm and as a player, this revelation sent me into an existential crisis but u arent wrong no—

given the netflix series is coming out in like <24 hours, i am humbly requesting for an animanga grishaverse site to satisfy my self-indulgent late 2010s six of crows obsessed brainrot section of my head. thank u for ur time.

started today with a really bad episode of both burnout+depression blues. now, just got out of a stream with my friends where one of them played metal gear rising: revengeance and holy shit it's been a Long Time since i've laughed until i started crying and yelled so much. bless those idiots.

the sheer chaotic energy of someone being absolutely godawful at playing the game while another person very vocally thirsts over the main character is absolute gold omg.

me, literally on fire: haha so peppa pig's my first album slaps amirite

ive reached the point where my brain is just playing the first few seconds of immigrant song at a daily level and my capacity to function is purely just on autopilot god help me

intp-t. i am nowhere near surprised tbh

prof probably shouldnt say that we can go past the deadline for this paper without repercussions, because i am absolutely going to go past the deadline with that kind of security.