a party lad

a lot of times, i feel like, without a hard deadline of get it done or face a fate worst than death, i have a hard time making progress and finishing things. i study the night before the test, write big research papers four hours before the deadline, rush to write in the middle of the night when i know i should be sleeping instead because i have work/class in five hours.

my own problem is when that i work best when i feel like i'm like to spontaneously combust at any second. i'm great in fast paced environments where i have to juggle three different tasks at the same time. but give me a list and tell me i have two months to complete it, and i guarantee i will spend two months sleeping; then screaming as i try to do everything in 8 hours. i guess it's a form of thriving under stress, but it's also a double edged sword because burn out happens really easily. i could probably write a huge paper about why i'm like this but at some point i think it's important to stop examining the why and start thinking about the next step (which is doing things, just DOING!!!! them even though it's so godAM m N h a R d scrEAmS)

being back on a big uni campus is nice
i wish i didn't shy away from human interaction so much lmao

first day of class is always drceptively easy
i give it until the end of the week before I'm a puddle of tears
so excited

clannie: how do u tank this
me: u pray i don't mess up and wipe us

do my posts for me

i feel like whenever i google health stuff, there's always suggestions about lists and timeframes to regularly keep track of your weird body going ons and on one hand that's actually pretty smart and useful when you're trying to fill your doc in on what the heck is happening but on the other hand, i feel exhausted just by the thought of it. even if it's once every three months or whatever, who the heckie has the time to be like "it's Time to catalogue my moles, better schedule it into my super busy day"

in other news //takes deep breath// when will i ever leave cpop hell?? WHEN??

raid wasn't trap tonight t h a n k

illinois, USA
u kno. t h a t city
come kill me

screams wildly as i try to squeeze two months of work into two days
i got this!! I GOT THIS!!!

crawling into bed to find the cat here instead of in her usual spot by the stairs and not having her immediately run off just made my week

having mondays off again is so nice

i can't believe my raid is funding me because they think my dps is Worth It (TM)