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Retiring from RP?

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With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
I'm going to preface this with this has been my hobby for the longest time— I remember starting all the way in middle school, as cringey as that sounds (and honestly, how unsafe as that sounds now that I look back at it), and have always had the itch to write, enjoying the creative process with others, coming up with new ideas. It's been... eleven years now? Man I feel old. 

I've done a lot during my RP career. I've started and staffed sites, I've been an active participant in many, and it's always been such a delight. However, I'm starting to not quite feel that spark for the first time, and I'm not quite sure what it is. I'm fairly happy with the site that I am currently on, though having a demanding job and grad school does weigh upon me. I used to have a lot of pride for my posts and really appreciate how much I have improved over the years, but now I'm just not producing content that I'm quite proud of— it almost feels like my post quality had been better before when I read over some older posts from maybe about three years ago. I'm the kind of person that likes to challenge myself, and I do get that the solution is to just write more and challenge myself, but even then, I'm just not quite feeling it, and I've been feeling somewhat left behind by the same community that I help and staff, with no fault to anyone at all for that happening.

I'm not sure if this is burn out or anything else, but a friend of mine suggested retirement like Miyazaki instead of hiatus'ing for these unsure feelings— the pressure to return and produce would be off my shoulders, and I wouldn't feel like there's a deadline for me to come back to. And then, like Miyazaki if it really strikes my fancy, to come back to it fully recharged with four projects under my belt because I got too itchy from not writing.

Has anyone ever retired from RP and came back, or considered retiring from roleplay? This is just a really weird spot for me to consider because this has been one of my longstanding hobbies, but it does bother me that I'm not feeling quite as voracious as I used to about writing, and it's hard for me to want to do something with half a heart. How has your roleplay experience been?
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i've been exactly where you are.

after being burnt a few times and burnt out in others, i found myself drifting away from rp as a whole until i ended up basically hanging my hat for well over a year - much longer than any break i had taken in, similar to yourself, 11 years or so. i didn't say it to anyone and only really made allusions to it to myself, but that's what happened.

it's difficult to really point to a single reason why. maybe it was drama weighing heavily. maybe i came to see myself as having outgrown the medium. maybe i was depressed. maybe i thought my energy could be put into more 'constructive' projects. maybe new sites i saw popping up never really clicked with me. but it happened. i didn't really much think about actually rping during that time.

as of right now though, i'm back in it. as with anything, it's your friends that pull you back in. and i've been enjoying myself, even in a genre i wouldn't have ever really pictured myself enjoying. i think over my break, distance did make the heart grow fonder - but perhaps i simply lacked some fundamental things that i think make rping really fun.

for me that's something like a sense of community, the ability to collaborate on something with a friend, and the exploration of an interesting idea(s). perhaps it's worth asking yourself what you really want out of rp - all the different things - and see if maybe some of those wants aren't being fully satisfied. if that fails, a total severance could be a good idea - to see if maybe indeed there is something rp provides that you can't see at present for being part of it.

that's my experience, anyway.
last edit on Jun 20, 2021 4:34:07 GMT by Deleted
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same here.

i read shit from my peak, 6+ years back give or take, and look at my present writing? absolute DOGSHIT. like the kind where you don’t even feel bad about not putting it in a baggy and disposing of it properly because of how fucking doodoo it is.

but, that just comes with age imo. the longer you’ve been doing any hobby the further you progress. you won’t always improve. sometimes you regress, but that’s fine.

i like 2 think of it like athletics or pro-gaming. after a certain point in your career ur skill will falter. instead of your body breaking down tho, in rp i think it’s the window of free time you have. i no longer read fictional books and i feel my prose has declined because of it.





that being said, i’m the opposite from a lot of the rp community where i get intimidated or feel inadequate about being surrounded with ‘better’ writers. i find it the best way to improve. i get to see everyone else’s writing, pick up aspect that i think they do better at me, and slowly steal their talents for my own.

there are also other aspects you can grow at the expense of your ‘writing’.

for me, my prose may have declined but my overall story telling aspect has increased exponentially. charting out a long, inclusive narrative has become one of my favorite aspects of RP and something i do better now than ever before.





i retired from rp occasionally. i would say this is my fourth / fifth time coming back out. the only times i really retire is when the site i’m on closes. unless my rp friends flock elsewhere, i just fuck off and do something else until i’m roped back in.

it’s pretty much a tug-of-war between would i rather write or do something else? i never rp because i don’t want to write but because there are other things i want to do more.
last edit on Jun 20, 2021 5:19:08 GMT by SPIRELE
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rp is supposed to be fun, remember
I can talk about this but I took a lot of breaks from RP. I never once thought I would come back to it when I did it though, I just left my sites completely and said "It''s okay, I am not feeling it and I don't know when or if I ever will". Like, nothing caught my interest and I was just not really into the whole drama or writing aspect, didn't really feel like I could produce the high quality stuff I used to again and life was extremely hectic with my dissertation.

But, after like nearly two years, I did come back to it. I joined a site on a whim and ended up with such a craving. Easily one of my favourite places to write in right now, and I love the friends I've made and plots we've established, but I don't think I could do that if I hadn't taken that break, thinking it was retirement for good.

Even if you don't come back though... it's okay. A lot of my friends never came back into but ended up finding that gap with different hobbies and interests or they chose to try to publish novels than rp, but that's okay too. Whatever makes you happy is what you should aim for in my opinion.

That said, I am also a "quality first" sort of RP'er and I started like, 13 years ago. I love to write beautiful posts and also challenge myself but the way I keep up with the community is finding one or two people and exchanging ideas, threads, prompts, music etc to keep it relevant. It then spreads onto others as they hear about your characters/your friendship and all. That said, I get it can be hard, but if there's nything you were looking forward to, maybe that could be it?

I also love to read fiction before I start writing or plotting so that I can get inspired and have an urge to write myself. I think my prose is stronger than before because I have a bigger interest in it, despite the age factor, but I really squeeze reading during my commute, exchange small ideas when I'm at work or sak people for a fast paced thread where we don't care about quality but post every day to loosen up our writing and furthur the plot. Because things happening can be interesting sometimes.

But again, I think it's okay if it doesn't work out either. Maybe RP doesn't have a place in your life right now, maybe it will again in an indefinite future, maybe it will remain as a past or private thing for you. None of those are bad in my opinion and if you need time to figure it out, that's that. As Clear said, it will help you find what you like out of RP. Is it the writing? The challenge? The people? What draws you back in it?
last edit on Jun 20, 2021 18:22:01 GMT by flare
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i've only every taken two year-long "breaks" from rp—the first during my thesis year of undergrad, and the second during my dissertation year of graduate school.

retirement is a thought i sometimes entertain but never have i committed; only those two times did i take some time off bc my focus was dedicated elsewhere. i've taken little breaks here and there, and usually in-between sites.


its rare for me to seriously consider retirement but when i do its usually when my trust is betrayed (e.g. i commit to a site and i'm almost always there for the long haul; i create characters i vibe with and the plots i nurture are all inter-connected and creative. however interpersonal drama gets in the way and ppl make unfounded assumptions they don't communicate, thus ruining the experience). rp is supposed to be collaborative and communicative (it's also a hobby); sometimes you overcome the 'writing with strangers' aspect and make friendships along the way, but when it starts to feel like a chore and/or a micromanaged job, i personally take many steps back until i'm just a speck on the horizon.

i also cannot be the main source of a site's activity—like a plant requiring photosynthesis my interest needs 2 b sustained by the consistent hustle of the community. unless i'm attached to the site itself, a severe decline of site activity tends to bankrupt my writing repository.


like i don't really buy into the 'writing quality intimidation' anxiety? i read a lot of fiction and i have a habit of borrowing lyrical prose. if i notice g8 writing/gr8 dialogue/gr8 characters i am immediately drawn and i begin to adopt some of those qualities into my own style... they make me want to sprint when rly i only have the energy to leisurely walk. admittedly i can be v selective about this and when i tell someone i like their style, its a legitimate compliment. please don't ever stop.

tbh retirement won't happen for me until i become completely bored with the hobby. like, thinking about it i'm expending time/energy by writing on sites for free when i could get paid elsewhere using the same skill set. idk, i guess when the majority of my friends phase out i'll probably do the same.

unless i get roped back in, then i'll accept that L O_o
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i've been considering retiring for a while too - or at least i was. i've taken a long break twice before, but for other reasons; the first time, when i was stuck in a weird transition from school to college, and then another from college to work life. nowwork keeps me really busy, and its difficult to dedicate the kind of energy and attention to writing well when you have things in real life that need your attention, and goals and dreams you want to achieve. 

however, what i remember when it gets like that, is that roleplaying is a hobby that i truly enjoy. i love to write and plot with people because it just seems like such a great way to write.

i understand what you mean by feeling burnt out. i do take a break once in a while, cause honestly, while you are writing with people and they might be inconvenienced by having to wait for you, you aren't going to enjoy forcing out your posts. i personally have never taken a long break because of this; when it feels like my writing is stagnating, i switch off my computer for a few days. i do other stuff. i definitely pick up a book or two or watch a movie. but i never feel pressured to return. if i don't reignite my muse or feel the itch to write, i wouldn't return. but somehow i always do feel like coming back, because writing is such a creative release for me. 


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At the end of the day, this is a hobby for all of us. There's nothing wrong with needing a break, and making no promises to come back to it. If you aren't enjoying it, you aren't enjoying it and it shouldn't become a job that you force yourself to do because you feel 'obligated'. If you are feeling ambivalent, not feeling your current set up - sometimes a reset is needed. As much as I hate dropping threads before they are finished, sometimes my muse just isn't there and the thought of having to reply to them can be killer to my desire to write. So I'll take a break, engage in another hobby, and then see if ending/dropping some threads and refocusing my 'timeline' helps. If it doesn't - perhaps its not meant to be. I think just being transparent in that with RP partners helps to ease some of your own anxiety and bad feelings that can crop up from getting ghosted. 

I can say for myself I enter a semi-retirement almost every time I'm on a site that closes for various reasons. Muse killer and let down, allows me to step away from the hobby for a while. I don't usually have intention of returning to RP, and probably the only reason I still RP is because drags me around to different sites. 

I can say that when I was working and in grad school, the thought of RP was as far from my mind as possible. As much as I love RPing, I recognize it takes a lot of effort and energy - and sometimes life is just too damn draining at the time to feel in love with it as much as I could be in less stressful times. 

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Can people stop assuming that for EVERYONE it's a 'hobby'. I'm so fed up with seeing this narrow minded bullshit. Guess what. I know it's a hard concept to understand, or rather if you show any kind of passion towards writing apparently your a freak for it. But there are some of us that are passionate about writing. It's more to us than a hobby.

For myself, roleplaying SAVED my life. I was in an extremely abusive home and had a disease that eventually prevented me from getting out of my home, so I took to writing. A world I could escape to and explore through the stories of my creations. It saved my life, it gave me purpose to wake up every damn day and face the mental and physical abuse I had to deal with.

ANY hobby in the ENTIRE world can become more than a hobby. Art, crafting, racing, anything can become someone's life or passion. And I personally think that's BEAUTIFUL. So to anyone whose ever felt the burn of the animanga's mindset of crushing you into a 'hobby' box. I'm sorry, sorry you're so alone and I hope you'll be fortunate enough to find someone hiding out in the community who is passionate too. Good luck to you.

As for the actual subject of this thread. Best of luck to anyone who retires. Because I'm officially there. Bye.
last edit on Jun 22, 2021 1:07:42 GMT by 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓐𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓪
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So, too, is Death possessed of infinite strategies and a gaunt nature.
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Can people stop assuming that for EVERYONE it's a 'hobby'. I'm so fed up with seeing this narrow minded bullshit. Guess what. I know it's a hard concept to understand, or rather if you show any kind of passion towards writing apparently your a freak for it. But there are some of us that are passionate about writing. It's more to us than a hobby.

For myself, roleplaying SAVED my life. I was in an extremely abusive home and had a disease that eventually prevented me from getting out of my home, so I took to writing. A world I could escape to and explore through the stories of my creations. It saved my life, it gave me purpose to wake up every damn day and face the mental and physical abuse I had to deal with.

ANY hobby in the ENTIRE world can become more than a hobby. Art, crafting, racing, anything can become someone's life or passion. And I personally think that's BEAUTIFUL. So to anyone whose ever felt the burn of the animanga's mindset of crushing you into a 'hobby' box. I'm sorry, sorry you're so alone and I hope you'll be fortunate enough to find someone hiding out in the community who is passionate too. Good luck to you.

As for the actual subject of this thread. Best of luck to anyone who retires. Because I'm officially there. Bye.
i don't understand—are hobbies not supposed to be enjoyed? be passionate about?

like art and crafting and racing, people are still expending their time and energy into their hobbies. a hobby is an avocation; a favorite pastime or a necessary diversion from life.

it can also save lives.

nobody is suggesting rp is anything less than the aforementioned pursuits of happiness. only when it starts to feel like a chore (or an obligation) does it cause negative effects.

your experience is yours alone, and no one can take that from you—but not everyone values it the same way. remember experiences are all very individualistic.

anyway, i'm quoting you because i'm greatly concerned. i really hope you're doing ok
last edit on Jun 22, 2021 1:45:00 GMT by PHIMBO
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I generally don't like putting a final label on things that I love or might used to love, because it feels to me like I'm trying to box away things neatly when sometimes things are just... ambiguous. Retirement feels final; as if when I say "that's it, I'm retired", it would really be over, but I think there's no need to really put it in a box if we are not comfortable doing so. Sometimes, it's good to let things remain up in the air because there doesn't always have to be a "you are either in it or out of it" binary.

I think it's important to try and be okay with a non-answer for ourselves. If I don't want to rp now, that's okay. Do I want to come back in the future? That's for future me to decide then, with her different set of future circumstances and mindset. Trying to decide between retiring or not makes me feel like I'm just barricading myself in or out. Instead of coming at it with a lock and a key, maybe this can be a door we can easily open and close anytime we want, as we progress in our lives. (:

Another thing I want to specifically address ( ) is that there are going to be a lot of things in life that we cannot really give a 100% to, but might want to, in a way or just refuse to do it at all. I believe this could be what you're facing, with :

but a friend of mine suggested retirement like Miyazaki instead of hiatus'ing for these unsure feelings— the pressure to return and produce would be off my shoulders, and I wouldn't feel like there's a deadline for me to come back to.


I believe that as our priorities and obligations in life change, so will our feelings and the amount of time we can afford to spend on different activities. That said, I also think it's important to adjust and be comfortable and more forgiving (towards ourselves) with the idea that we can't always give a 100%. At the end of the day, we only have so much time and energy. These two factors will always change like tides, and as such, will the time and energy spent on different things on our lives. You might not be able to spend as much energy or time on what you love, but your effort spent shouldn't define how much you deserve to feel about this. Forgive yourself a little bit more; I might cheekily suggest being more comfortable with half-assing some things a little bit more.

However, I feel differently from your friend; I would recommend hiatuses instead. The thing about taking a hiatus is that we don't have to put deadlines on ourselves either, I think it's unkind to ourselves if we slap our hands together and say "I have to be okay with writing in [specific amount of time]". Is there really an urgent need to make a decision now? I personally don't see retiring as letting go of a hobby; it still feels like we are holding on to it because we need to label it as something- an all or nothing. To take the pressure off yourself-how about letting go of it by being okay with coming back whenever you want? Let it remain a little bit uncertain- free yourself up and your future self up, according to your needs and wants.

I hope this helps a little, even though I know it might seem like a somewhat frustrating answer because of the lack of certainty.
last edit on Jun 22, 2021 1:50:34 GMT by Mizo

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so not to piggy back or be redundant but i thought maybe i had something to add to this convo. my motivation here is to hopefully alleviate the stress of this decision for any reading this thread?

i find that we as modern english speakers have this wild obsession with labels. this knowledge comes from me being apart of the T in LGBTQ (sorry about bringing identity into this but its relevantish). everyone is obsessed with labelling things to the point that at times it can really be redundant or have no relevance at all. a man who's been gay for 20 yrs can get horny for a woman, someone who's hyper-feminine can float into masculinity after a while... really these are just describers placed for comfort of self within your community/culture. sure you may get a double take from those who have known you, but overall it doesn't really matter. do what u feel.

so my point is is that your labelling this as retirement/hiatus doesn't really carry the weight that you think. it's really only as deep as you make it (and as we can see some of us carry this weight heavier than others). if you wanna "retire" and give it your 'final goodbye' only to come back in 3 months i doubt anyone will be like "but omg didn't you say you were retiring? why are you here?" and even if they do, like what are they gonna do? gatekeep? girlboss? gaslight? like you are free to label it as you please, if at all really, and then do what you want with it to the comfort of yourself. if you wanna label it retirement to feel that freedom, do so, but your rp friends won't stop you from coming back unless they're really shitty friends.

i have always told people: if roleplaying has become more of a chore than fun for you then babie just what are you doing? leave, go find something to do that results in some sort of actual satisfaction/fun/happiness/reward. if you are scared of the perpetual looming dastardly 'fear of missing out' i promise you that you aren't and there will still be some nerds on the internet pretending to be anime characters in play-by-post style roleplaying when/if you return. 
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ig im just gonna retread ground huh. ive spent most of my life in the rpc, oscillating between loving it, hating it, wanting to yeet myself into an ocean out of embarrassment, hurt, sadness, and everything in between.

i've never said that i "retired" from rp, more or less i've always left rp bc u can always return, but there's also just a certain distance that i needed every time i left that i couldn't get from retiring. and i don't like hiatus b/c i've probably spent most of rping on a hiatus, completely and utterly terrified by the looming expectation that eventually i had to return, that i could only run so far before everything came crashing back down on me.

but labels are absolutely redundant as shit on their own like goldie said, and they're best as incredibly personal things that u give them meaning to urself.

sometimes tho the best thing is to,,, honestly stop thinking abt it. retirement, leaving, hiatuses, or u could just drop it all and find other things and reasons that fill ur time. also, in my experience, just writing things for yourself that catch your interest can be really nice to fill the void that was ur long time hobby too.

you may return one day. u may not. depends on my mood honestly, and i dip in and out depending. there's a certain itch that i have difficulty scratching anywhere else, but if something isn't really exciting u, there's no need to keep attaching yourself to that thing. sometimes you really do have to just distance yourself. if you keep breathing the same oxygen forever, it slowly suffocates you. finding new oxygen, or just not breathing on the same toxic nauseous oxygen is great alksdjf