bouncing between stardew valley, honkai: star rail and ffxiv today and i'm blaming it on the fact that i woke up at an ungodly hour to go to a meeting that i already knew all the information for and very nearly watched a dude try and start a fight with the presenter.

got "let go" by my job last week and fell into some sorta sadness where i picked up a gacha game that doesn't feel like a gacha. honkai star rail's got me in it's clutches and i don't really know how to crawl out.

(tldr for the job aspect, they were looking for something to fire me over and found the dumbest excuse even though i was a top notch employee lmao)

job fired me for a shitty reason and i'm salty about it.
but also fuck them for putting me through so much shit fr.

i survived another year around the sun.
it's my birthday and i'm going to spend learning how to savage raid, and diving into eureka in ffxiv.

my ffxiv raiding friends waiting for my confidence to rise enough to drag me into savage raiding... it's finally happening... i'll finally try it.....

after being told so many times that i wasn't good enough to do so.

thinking about the time i accidentally stole from a big box store.
to be fair, i was at self-check out and had three big things.
i walked up to the exit, and the guy checked my receipt.
walked all the way to my car and discovered two things:
1. i had left the bag of groceries i had actually paid for.
2. there were items in my cart that were unpaid for.

now, you might be thinking: rav, did you leave without your groceries?
and no, dear reader, i did not.
i walked back inside, grabbed my bag of food, walked back to my car and went home, guilt riding on my mind.
and when i told my darling spouse, they laughed at me.

since i've been plagued with more free time recently, i've been really getting into listening to audiobooks....
it's really good to pass the time, esp with some books i've read in the past. sometimes hearing it in another voice is nice.

insomnia truly got hands fr.
i wanna sleep but my entire body rebels so i simply lay in bed thinking about all the things i need to do and should do.

anyways, i got an insane idea for my ffxiv alt and i'm feeling a little insane since i could be possible.

found out my job once more cut my very limited hours, and only having management work.
me, who pretty much helped make the place stay afloat last week getting shafted again.
and yet, every job i have applied for i either get ghosted or get overlooked.
i wish i knew how to make myself more presentable

personal growth is knowing when to not interact with someone who makes my blood boil because they think they're better than someone else.
disengaging before i say something that might come across as rude, makes me a better person than i was a few years ago when i would unintentionally antagonize someone for saying my opinion.
at the end of the day, i'm gonna treat people with the came kindness and respect they give me.

Jan 9, 2024 4:51:45 GMT CEL said:

burakhovsky missing hours

it's ALWAYS burakhvosky missing hours. i miss the sand pest coming for my ass, and the doctors dancing around each other. take me back to the town-on-gorkhon

thinking about the hilarity that ensued last night while ulla and i BP farmed and scarvi and the picnic table just would not load.

scarlet and violet is a perfect game, with so many flaws

the panic i feel while knowing that my manager said i didn't need to go back in since the only dog that was going home, already went home, but i still have the panic of not being where i need to be because the work app said i was late clocking in.

the hour of panic starts now ig