It shall deliver to you but only on Sundays. 

I wish I no longer needed sleep to function. 

granted, now you need copious amounts of blood.

i wish for something eternal

Granted. It's death.

I wish my cat wasn't so spoopy.

Granted, now they're straight up terrifying.

I wish I wasn’t so indecisive

granted, now you make big life decisions in 2 seconds

i wish i didn't care so much about what other people thought

Granted, but now you really don't care what other people think and criticism is entirely lost on you, even constructive.


I wish my best friends weren't all so far away.

Granted, but they will all have tons of acne!

I wish for a fulfillment in my soul

Granted, but you take away another persons chance at any happiness for the rest of their life.

I wish I didn’t have to eat and just could drink my nutrients every day and never be hungry again

Granted, congrats on that feeding tube.

I wish life wasn't so dramatic.

Granted, but life will be boring.

I wish for gum that doesn't lose it's flavor in ten seconds

granted, but it now has no flavor at all.

i wish i had enough money to do whatever i wanted.

Granted, but you can’t access any of it.

I wish dishes would magically become clean — no washing, no water needed. Just poof, clean