Granted, but they come in pennies and crush you to death beneath their weight

I wish I had some cookies right now

granted, but they're raisen oatmeal cookies.

i wish it was always raining.

granted, but your body becomes that of a sloth's.

i wish for a small, pale purple hippo to cradle within my palms.

Granted, but the hippo is only small in comparison to the gigantic oversized palm trees that have erupted from the floor of your bedroom. The damage is frustrating and ceiling ruined.

I wish for the worlds best grilled cheese.

granted, but you drop it before you can take a single bite.

i wish satoru gojou was REAL.

Belated, but I really like oatmeal raisin cookies

Granted, except you turn into a curse and get exorcised by him

I wish my hands weren’t cold

granted but everything around you is cold.

i wish villain characters would get their due :(

granted, but they...enjoy it.

i wish i could remember the name of this song 

Granted, but all versions of it disappear from the internet so you can never play it

I wish sleep wasn't necessary

Granted. Now you can work twice as long!

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but now every single living thing outside of plants is dead.

I wish any who abused an animal would explode into a puff of sparkles.

granted. i've no clue how to corrupt this one tho feel free to revoke my genie card.

i wish i could bottle stars, and sell them at outrageous prices