THREE QUOTES TO ROUND IT OUT LET'S GO

“I’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, I am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here.” from She is Made of Chalk, L.M. Dorsey

"Guy here. I was walking a friend home one evening and I mentioned to her that I am quite oblivious about when a girl likes me. I said 'a girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn't realize she was into me'. She then smacked me on the back of my head and I responded with 'Ow! What the hell was that for?!?'." from reddit, u/Jesus_marley

from Once in the West, Christian Wiman

35 HELL YEA

theme song #1: untitled, simple plan

ok it's a bit of a meme but memes can be TRUE

theme song #2: it's about time, barcelona

this is also an oj song. about the loneliness and the vulnerability of being known to other people and the fear of it... and the deciding to be vulnerable anyway... [chef's kiss]

two theme songs. point total: 32

this palette is titled the many varied colors of julie's jeans

point total: 27

this is a pattern for julie. it's very white, because she is basic. but it's a little bit messy, because she is messy. also it's a lot of squares because she is boring and does many things on repeat

point total: 28

thinking about her...

(scratchpad)

ship dev for oj (odysseus / julie)

small preface to say that this is like. first of all, aside from like the fifteen oj aus we have, in mainverse they haven't even expressed a single hint of liking each other — though they both love each other. mainverse oj is slowburn As Hell

first meeting. odysseus was a very hot coffee shop musician who struck up a conversation with her as his slot was winding down. she swore to hate him forever, and was in fact very mean to him — but five minutes later she had reluctantly changed her tune, as odysseus as a person is very charismatic and correctly assessed that she was a musician like him.

is she happy with where she is in the relationship. yes! odysseus is safe. she doesn't think that he loves her in a romantic sense, really... or rather she is blind to his feeling it. her and odysseus are friends and that's all she wants. to keep their banter and their vulnerability... and just the entire ease of spending time together? and she doesn't think they would ever become a thing anyway because odysseus has a dead wife... so she's content. he's extra safe because they are both not interested in each other that way (she thinks. she is wrong)

are you positively impacting each others' lives. yes. thanks to julie, odysseus has developed one or two of these silly things called morals, though he will never admit to such a thing. and julie ... is figuring out what it means to trust someone with yourself. she is sharing things about herself because she wants him to know. stupid things, like her favourite colour or what kind of day she had yesterday. she is learning that... it's like, cliche, i guess. but she is learning that... people can just care about her because she is... herself ?

how much do you think you understand about each other. zoe and i have talked about it a couple times, because it's interesting! neither of them... really knows the other. very well. part of odysseus' thing is that he's heard every song and dance before: people are predictable in the way that a story is predictable, in the way that his life in the odyssey was predictable. but... julie shakes up the rhythm? she says things he doesn't expect. and it kind of pulls him out of the 'all the world's a stage' feeling. and julie, meanwhile, just accepts that odysseus lies about everything all the time and so assumes she knows nothing about him except, maybe his name

do you forgive each others' mistakes easily. yeah.... when it comes out that odysseus is like actually odysseus... julie is going to be surprisingly okay with the whole 'i committed war crimes and also threw babies off cliffs' thing. that's pretty dang lenient if i do say so myself. also i think if julie just went evil one day odysseus would be like "sweet, do you want help"... though. julie is. a part of her feeling safe with odysseus is also her feeling safe enough to confront him on issues. and so she's been trying

does the relationship help forget painful events/relationships. nnnnot... forget. but. realize that they... were painful. and realize that they aren't indicative of how the world works. and.... acknowledge that it's possible to be loved? no strings attached? i'd say 'no impermanence' but ... that's a lot of other cans of worms and is not... something she can comprehend for a while. possibly for her whole life

+5 for ship dev questionnaire, total of 26

character questionnaire hell yea

what does bedroom look like. it's cozy and fancy and rich. I ACTUALLY HAVE A PHOTO BECAUSE. NAT WHO WRITES TONY MADE THE HOUSE IN THE SIMS.   wood with accents and stuff... big double bed... technology and books. and it's messy like 9/10 times. all of her sheet music and musical paraphernalia is not there because the house has an actual music room, which is positively bonkers

daily/weekly/monthly rituals. nnnnnnnnnnnno. well. about once a week, or as often as they can manage, her and odysseus go out to eat food at a restaurant. julie would like that restaurant to always be ihop or olive garden, but odysseus refuses both by this point, except olive garden gets a pass only very rarely. ALSO i suppose you could call her extensive practicing a ritual in and of itself. like, 2-5 hours almost every day.

exercise. since natasha the character has taken on the mantle of being her personal trainer, julie has... been forced to get up early. and eat properly. and learn how to do exercise. she does a little bit each day and can successfully do a pushup, to her chagrin.

best way to waste time. idling on social medias... watching youtube videos... sleeping. she feels like wasting time isn't really a thing that exists, for her, because any free time she has is time that she deserves to take a break during. so it's fine

favorite indulgence.  b r e a d . she feels just fine about having bread. she loves bread. bread could be breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and it would be fabulously so. she doesn't drink or anything, so that's about as exciting as it gets.

meal / drink / dessert. pasta... bread. pancakes. breakfast foods. drinks... water. dessert... ice cream cake. god im hungry

makeup. no makeup for her! only if she is performing, which is regrettably a lot of the time. she goes for very light makeup unless it is a big performance. no lipstick because lipstick+flute=bad. just like. eyeshadow and eyeliner... and maybe like... foundation or something.. she doesn't know. simple stuff unless someone is doing it for her

sexual + romantic orientation. aroace! >:3

most prized possession. her flute. it is worth more than her life, at probably around 15-20k.

does she use her words or her actions. neither. julie doesn't know how to communicate. she stammers and stutters and her body language is akin to a robot trying to learn how to be natural: very jittery and awkward. one time she wanted to express affection for odysseus by patting him on the shoulder before she left and it was... well, it was very obvious it was a deliberate action. (small sidenote to state i dont mean to say she is like a robot in relation to being aro, as it can be considered a harmful trope. but rather she as a person is just. poorly socialized and doesn't know how to be affectionate because nobody has really been affectionate to her first... ?)

feelings on love. she loves love. loves the idea of love. she doesn't think love is for her. other people can love her, but it's a fleeting thing. it's not. real. or true. if she disappeared it wouldn't matter for them; as a person, she has no object permanence in other peoples' minds (she thinks. she thinks wrong, but she thinks it.). also, the idea of being romantically involved with someone has her kind of like "hahaha okay... a little weird... uncomfortable"

concept of home/family. family doesn't ... really mean a lot. family means people hate you but are obligated to spend time with you. family means getting abandoned when you are six because no matter how much you insist you love someone, they are moving away anyway — so obviously love doesn't make a difference. family is nobody calling or texting when you move to a different country and have been there for several years. family is a father thinking that just because he got funky fresh with a lady and she was the result, he has some sort of obligation to be a part of her life. and home is just... a place to stay. julie is kind of depressing. it makes sense but it's sad, how impermanent she thinks she is in other peoples' lives, in her own home... sometimes even in her own life

character questionnaire +5 points for 21 total

aesthetic image because it's TRUE. +1 point for 15 total

this is a quote from another person regarding my character so it counts

+1 point for 16 total

relationships. alrighty

alice (zoe's char). julie's housemate. she loves alice. she is helpful and kind and very very pretty. and her heart is bigger than probably anybody's combined. she has a soft spot for strays (people, stray people, like this bucky guy) and sometimes that makes julie uncomfortable, because she is unused to so many strangers taking a night or several on the couch. also alice is fused with a beetle and is blue sometimes. they've fought house fires together. top bonding. also part of dnd group

odysseus (zoe's char). his name isn't really odysseus (or so julie thinks); it's just some greek name to go along with his alias, nobody s. king. teodor is his actual name. she thinks. julie is, regrettably, in love with him (not like, in love in love, because she is aroace, but she loves him). he buys her food and doesn't judge her — and for some reason she feels... safe around him? she feels safe around like, nobody else. she initially swore to hate him because of how hot he is, but HOW THE TIDES TURN. also part of dnd group

matt (zoe's char — there might be a trend here). matt is... a lawyer. and blind. but they first met in church, and now she knows that he is a lawyer and that he also makes very good omelettes. and for some reason he showed her a red devil costume? and she didn't get at first that he is daredevil because she is extremely obtuse. anyway she loves matt, even though he likes to tease her a lot about how she may or may not think he's hot. also part of dnd group

everett (ness' char). her shitty boss. he is part of a tiny new york mafia group, team, whatever, and they all adore her. so technically she is a crime princess. but it's hard to say why everett loves her so much when all she does is be mean to him all the time. she runs manhattan mocha for him, which is a secret money laundering front that she doesn't know about. she has bullied him into giving her higher wages and lots of time off.

tony (nat's char). half brother ?!?!??! mega rich?!?! iron man or whatever?!??! he fell into manhattan mocha during a fight, or whatever, and came back to throw money at repairs because he felt bad, and then somehow they became friends. now it's a whole thing, and she kind of likes the guy. he's like. decent, or whatever. even though he buys her stuff all the time that she doesn't need, because rich people love spending money frivolously i guess

howard (rebecca's char). father... i guess... he's alright. she doesn't really care about him one way or another, because parental love is fake and he's just trying to throw money at her to get her to love him and that's never going to work with her. 2/10 shitty father alert

natasha (a different nat's char). friend-shaped. trains her in self defense after [hand waves] everything that's happened. bakes cookies. also is a spider, she guesses? based on the black widow imagery? she climbs things real good. julie is constantly in awe, and constantly trying to steal cookies

also honorable mention to lyla (fossa) because they are dream buddies and lyla kind of intimidates her. she seems like she has it together and has like, lydia deetz vibes, which is inherently spooky for a person like julie, who is about as resolved as a napkin

+3 points for 14 total