"And I'm not lying either. You're gorgeous..."

There it is again, the spark that floods his world with color. Xander ran away from it last time. Afraid of what might happen if he lingered outside the black and white panels that were his life. He refuses to turn away.

"You're breathtaking, Suzume. A masterpiece."

The rest of what she has to say cuts into him deep like a knife. Words on the tip of his tongue get choked down. So that's how she felt. Like he'd left her behind to be discarded and forgotten. Anger and sadness, conflicting emotions, struggle for a place on his face. Eventually, they settle into a stoic frown.

"I had to leave, to think - to process something I'd been ignoring for the last eleven years." that he was still ignoring now. "I couldn't do that with you or Kiara around. It's something I had to do alone."

There was so much light inside her honey browns it was almost blinding. Had she always looked like this? Or was he just so caught up in his darkness that anyone cheerful turned into an angel? He lingered, perhaps a little too long, before glancing away.

He melts against her palm with eyes closed. The mixture of water on his skin and the softness of her body sends him somewhere else. A faraway place where the problems that plague them don't exist. Bliss. The kind they used to have before the world felt so messy. Killian's desperate for this moment to last forever. But it's short-lived.

A grim reminder of the pain Lex had just endured flashes into his mind. He holds her tighter, chin coming to rest against her shoulder. "I love you." and though he'd just confirmed he always would - Killian can't help but feel it's worth repeating

"I want you." the words escape his mouth without much thought, and they catch him off guard. They remain in the air for only a few seconds, but it feels like forever.

"I mean -" Xander sighs, "I want you to sit down." he chokes out. That doesn't feel right, but he can't think of what else to put behind those first three words. Seriously, what the fuck is going on with him today?