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Roleplaying Quirks written Feb 3, 2021 2:44:04 GMT
aliasdismay
pronounsshe/her
445written posts
fossaearned bits
offlinecurrently
fossa
Senior Member
fossa Avatar
he's suppose to be DEAD
i don't capitalize anymore unless it's for Emphasis.

i like NEVER bold my character's speech. sorry to everyone who writes with me.

i always put spaces between ( parenthesis ) like so.

my trademark is needlessly tragic backstories you'd find a 13 year old writing.
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Staffing Confessions written Feb 3, 2021 2:35:10 GMT
aliasdismay
pronounsshe/her
445written posts
fossaearned bits
offlinecurrently
fossa
Senior Member
fossa Avatar
he's suppose to be DEAD
pharaoh leap Avatar
Feb 3, 2021 2:00:34 GMT said:
I have re-written this post, like, three times now because I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this in a way that makes sense and also doesn't let my intense saltiness about the matter soil the whole thing.

It's been coming to light recently that there've been incidents on my last couple of sites where discussions happening outside of the server (where I could not see it), but evidently close enough to it that it still managed to get back to the victims of such discussions... well, got back to the victims, which at best drove decent people out of what should've been a safe space for them, or at worst has killed their faith in RP communities to this day. And that bothers me. Immensely. The fact that it happened at all, of course, goes without saying; but the utter helplessness of knowing that maybe I could've done something if I'd known. I don't want this to ever happen again on another site. And I know there's no way to stop friends from venting small grievances in DMs - heck, a little vent can be helpful sometimes to get the frustration out so you can see things a little more objectively afterward - but I want some way to crack down on this 'witch hunting behind staff's back', or whatever you'd call it. It's not welcome in my spaces. Period. Out, out, out.



(i typed this all up before your second confession and ive put too many braincells into it to redo it)

i'm someone who is guilty of this behavior. there's no point trying to act like i'm not or like i haven't let it incite me into bullying people or treating them poorly. i've also been at the receiving end, in which i knew people, who i thought were friends, would spread gossip about me. which is why i think this is such an important post and honestly, probably deserves its own topic.

i think this behavior starts off harmless, or at least not with ill intentions. it starts as what is intended to be venting, but quickly turns into mockery and gossip at other members expense. even worse is when staff get in on it - the fact you're even aware of this being an issue is big, leap.

going back to it being venting, i read something recently that helped me distinguish between venting and, well, trashing someone. i copied it to save because knowing what is healthy venting and isn't is something i have a hard time with, and i don't know if others understand the difference either.

to quote, from reddit:

"being an asshole" is the idea that needs exploration. That's assigning blame. They = asshole. If someone else said you were being an asshole, you would feel attacked. Healthy venting should be more like: this person did this specific thing, and afterwards I felt a specific way.


venting can be healthy, and it shouldn't be expected for members to always be okay with each other or to just want to roll with every punch. sometimes, issues are frustrating, but not enough to bring to staff or the opposing party.

so having said that... i don't know how to stop - or rather, discourage - this problem from members, because it's not a clear cut thing and it's not like you can just say "please don't be mean behind people's backs" and expect them to listen. either people don't recognize the behavior, people don't care, or they think they're justified.

the best case 'fixes' i can think of are recognizing what members are most likely to be engaging in this behavior - but that's also not really a solution.

i'm sorry this isn't actually a helpful post offering suggestions but i'm glad to see this topic being addressed.

and please don't look at yourself as having failed your members or let people down. it's not your fault that members engage in this type of behavior. this isn't the best analogy, but it's about like blaming yourself as a teacher when a kid outside of class is getting beat up and you don't even realize it's happening because it's not even on campus.
last edit on Feb 3, 2021 2:35:59 GMT by fossa
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Post a Random Thought written Feb 1, 2021 14:27:32 GMT
aliasdismay
pronounsshe/her
445written posts
fossaearned bits
offlinecurrently
fossa
Senior Member
fossa Avatar
he's suppose to be DEAD
von Avatar
Jan 31, 2021 13:16:26 GMT said:
i wanna teach someone 2 code and design for jcink so i dont feel like we're a dying breed, but i feel like its presumptuous of me LMAO ASdasdhkad. ive been thinking it for like a year now since I went MIA.

UR CODES ARE SO PRETTY !! you should totally do that/make tutorials or guides. i think anyone would be really happy to learn from u!
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Post a Random Thought written Jan 5, 2021 23:10:09 GMT
aliasdismay
pronounsshe/her
445written posts
fossaearned bits
offlinecurrently
fossa
Senior Member
fossa Avatar
he's suppose to be DEAD
Mouse Avatar
Jan 5, 2021 22:25:19 GMT said:
Great Pretender has me in tears.
my current favorite anime i lOVED it so much.

that background art makes me think i wanna be a background artist.

im glad to find others enjoying it!!!!!!
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Post a Random Thought written Aug 10, 2020 13:02:45 GMT
aliasdismay
pronounsshe/her
445written posts
fossaearned bits
offlinecurrently
fossa
Senior Member
fossa Avatar
he's suppose to be DEAD
i was talking to a friend and went to find my old fanfiction account and sixteen year old me really put this on there:

I like shounen-ai and yaoi and I'll read some shojo-ai here and there.


my shame is great... at least i have learned and moved past the dark ages.