fuck this only-being-my-true-self-online bullshit! im going to be the manic egirl i was always meant to be IRL as well! fuck!!!!!!!!!!

i spent a bit of time thinking about the masquerade trope when i was helping write a comic with a friend, and i'm pretty happy with the version of it we landed on so i'm going to talk ab it

basically, the world contained people with superpowers - in many ways your standard-issue superhero deal - but the government kept a registry on them, anyone deemed sufficiently dangerous was either kept under lock-and-key or strictly surveilled, and using superpowers in public was prohibited. after this, illegal outbursts were censored as best as was possible, leaving the 'danger of superpowers' somewhere between conspiracy theory and political wedge issue in the public eye.

this always seemed like the most plausible version of the trope to me. like, nobody denies the existence of said anomalies - it's not earth-shattering if there is some public incident involving them, - but at the same time only those properly invested for whatever reason really think about it on the day-to-day, so it doesn't drastically alter the shape of the world.

one wack thing about trying to kick an addiction is how u feel like u need to periodically 'refresh' other activities by partaking in the addiction first, and everything u do after u start to feel that urge feels somehow dulled. it almost has the negative feeling of severe and irresponsible procrastination, but mostly it just makes things droll and like they drag on forever; like the last half an hour before u get to clock off work that u try to compartmentalize into different tasks and how long they take in order to make it all feel manageable

what? haha yeah i'm fine lol

fun fact: the average weekend lasts about 2.5 hours

being ground down to the bone five out of seven days in the service of a corporation that does nothing good for the world really is just no way to live. somebody oughta do something about this

mfs will be like 'im hyperfixated' and they literally just be watching a 10 episode season to conclusion

if u dont wanna hang out just say so man ive given u soooooo many opportunities to just say u dont wanna. dont go from treating me like a friend to treating me like a stranger just cuz u feel guilty or some shit. thats so much worse. ffs. i give up.

i've said it before but i'll say it again, disco elysium is in my amateur opinion the greatest game of all time. the way the minutiae of your character customization and personal choices fluidly causes the detail of the world to unfold in different directions never ceases to impress me. paying attention to how this game is constructed literally feels like an education.

some customers really stick in ur head like 'how must it be to live with that attitude' fr

maybe i am just straight up out of ideas

i hate that stage of a new creative hobby where you dont even know WHY what youre producing is bad, only that it is

:sob:

bitches always be like "omfg i cant believe u arent prepared yet"

lesser mortals can barely comprehend the ability to just-wing-it of a serial procrastinator

it's so nice to have met someone irl i really like who also struggles with dysphoria. like. so incredibly nice.