i've only every taken two year-long "breaks" from rp—the first during my thesis year of undergrad, and the second during my dissertation year of graduate school.

retirement is a thought i sometimes entertain but never have i committed; only those two times did i take some time off bc my focus was dedicated elsewhere. i've taken little breaks here and there, and usually in-between sites.

its rare for me to seriously consider retirement but when i do its usually when my trust is betrayed (e.g. i commit to a site and i'm almost always there for the long haul; i create characters i vibe with and the plots i nurture are all inter-connected and creative. however interpersonal drama gets in the way and ppl make unfounded assumptions they don't communicate, thus ruining the experience). rp is supposed to be collaborative and communicative (it's also a hobby); sometimes you overcome the 'writing with strangers' aspect and make friendships along the way, but when it starts to feel like a chore and/or a micromanaged job, i personally take many steps back until i'm just a speck on the horizon.

i also cannot be the main source of a site's activity—like a plant requiring photosynthesis my interest needs 2 b sustained by the consistent hustle of the community. unless i'm attached to the site itself, a severe decline of site activity tends to bankrupt my writing repository.

like SPIRELE i don't really buy into the 'writing quality intimidation' anxiety? i read a lot of fiction and i have a habit of borrowing lyrical prose. if i notice g8 writing/gr8 dialogue/gr8 characters i am immediately drawn and i begin to adopt some of those qualities into my own style... they make me want to sprint when rly i only have the energy to leisurely walk. admittedly i can be v selective about this and when i tell someone i like their style, its a legitimate compliment. please don't ever stop.

tbh retirement won't happen for me until i become completely bored with the hobby. like, thinking about it i'm expending time/energy by writing on sites for free when i could get paid elsewhere using the same skill set. idk, i guess when the majority of my friends phase out i'll probably do the same.

unless i get roped back in, then i'll accept that L

double post 2 say i h8 kae

u herd me, devil on my shoulder 

after all these years, i've severely underestimated the customizability of gdocs

from now on all my concepts will be aesthetically prettied up

au game of thrones but make it during the Age of Heroes pls

- every1 is a king

- dorne is not yet unified

- no targaren, no kingslanding

- children of the forest problems; there is no wall

- the memory of the long night is no mummer's tale but something visceral on the mind

atm tywin telling me the story of house lannister (great lore video, also giving me ideas...)