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ACT IV: HOOLIGAN TALES
A lot of that could stem from, as you said, a personal self confidence issue. My tips are less about 'taking charge' and gathering/presenting yourself in a way that facilitates plot. You don't need to run any big events or make huge waves, start by leading yourself personally and others will follow. - Pay attention to site dynamics. What factions are in need. What canons are taken. Use the structure of a site or setting, find the holes in plots, and plug yourself in there where possible.
- Read what other people write. It's hard to get a plot if two people / characters have nothing in common. If you throw your character out there with no plan you get stuck in situations you're not enthusiastic about but don't want to bail. Read what other people write and think carefully on what interests them and what you can provide. People love it when you do your homework on them.
- Have a goal for your own character. Pleasant surprises are pleasant but other people can't be expected to provide the font for your character arc(s). Whether it happens quickly over it never happens, having a general idea that can shift over time will help you.
- Put your character/plots in a weaker position. It's easier for other people to accept your plots if your character is beholden to them, or a servant, messenger, idolizes another, etc. rather than potentially forcing them into thinking a certain way about your character. I never say my character is charming, for example, or intellectual, or several other 'good' traits. I play them as close as I think I can get them and accept what judgement comes my way.
- Generate some hooks or stand-out tidbits for your character. I do this for all my characters and sometimes I list them publicly and sometimes I don't and let people piece it together. Example: He always looks down when he walks -- why? He collects baseball cards starting from the year 1997 when his parents took him to his first Nippon Pro game. He's afraid of dogs and will run from them (because he was bit when he was younger). So on and so forth, it makes your character memorable, and someone is bound to want to thread based on a hook or interest.
Apologies if I totally misread your question though.
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