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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because...

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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 25, 2023 19:12:58 GMT
kmsdvlajvkefk
aliastanzaku, tanz, tan-tan, egao, protag, chapel, tbotc
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๐Ÿ’– โ‡๏ธ baa ~ dumm! โ‡๏ธ ๐Ÿ’–
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so while i don't necessarily go out of my way to make friends with my rp partner, i do want to have good vibes with them. i've known people who would keep on threading with others despite becoming neutral/unhappy with the rp partner for whatever reason ooc. i guess this is the norm - to just pretend like things are cool because it's easier that way. buuut i can't work that way. don't really care if i come out as the AH.

however, in my case, while i won't hesitate dropping off threads if i don't feel comfortable rping with them, sometimes i feel like the other party is doing the thing to me. and i think it's just a waste of our time to keep on pretending? 

but now i know i'm not a mind-reader. i don't know where i'm getting these signals, but no, i don't usually feel like this in the many years i've rped. do i do something about it? is talking to the person going to make it worse/awkward? i kind of have a very jaded point of view with rpers these days. unfortunately, i do not have the social grace to determine if someone is trying to give a hint or osmething idk.

this ian't even about a specific person/thread. it's a feeling i'm getting overall with the rping i am in rn. and with a few other things, it's been making me want to leave despite the cool stuff i've had. it's just that, like i said, i don't really usually feel this way. i'm not typically the socially anxious rper. so i'm not sure what to do with these feelings/thoughts. how bad would it ibe if i just drop threads bc i feel like i'm forcing my partner to go along with it?
last edit on Oct 25, 2023 19:17:16 GMT by ๐Ÿ’– โ‡๏ธ baa ~ dumm! โ‡๏ธ ๐Ÿ’–
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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 25, 2023 23:12:55 GMT
aliaspor, sef, jdawg
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chichi wo moge
i've felt the "i don't think this person is enjoying our thread(s)" many times and as an anxious rper, i can say whether you are or not -- it's difficult to tell how others truly feel because we are on digital platforms. so, we can't see facial expressions or hear the tonal queues in voices to really catch much of a hint outside of our own one-sided perceptions. the gut feeling in these regards is such a wild card.

i tend to look for a few markers before i decide to move on:

  • - are they replying to other threads much faster than they are ours? if so, how long am i kept hanging? anything longer than two weeks while they're rapid firing with john every other day says a lot.
  • when i try to talk to them about the thread / characters, are they participating in the conversation? some people have low social battery days but if it's persistent, it's time to stop trying sis.
  • is the behavior they're displaying that bothers me consistent with others and/or past interactions?

but it is sometimes worth it to just ask for clarity. people are going to lie to try to avoid conflict (even if there would never be) if that's how they are. i've had that happen and i won't lie, i've done it to others myself.

if the vibes ain't there regardless of what i do, it's good to just close it up and move on. a lot of times after i calmed down my anxiety, i found i just wasn't compatible with the other person in terms of plotting / threading.

i don't (personally) think it's bad to drop threads for whatever reason. even just taking a little hiatus if it's really been lame out there.
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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 25, 2023 23:26:55 GMT
aliasAsk me~
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There's hope beyond this lone abyss.
I lean towards the idea of simply opening a dialogue with your RP partners โ€” asking them how they feel about your current threads, maybe donโ€™t say โ€œI feel like Iโ€™m just dragging you alongโ€ at first and instead โ€œSo, what do you think about how our threads are going?โ€ and then tell them about how you feel here. Iโ€™m someone who wouldnโ€™t find such an interaction awkward, though I donโ€™t speak for everyone โ€” but since youโ€™re mulling this over, I feel like itโ€™s worth trying to ask, yโ€™know?

Maybe youโ€™re reading these signals wrong but also ask yourself, in cases where you are, would you still want to continue the RP/thread(s) in question?

As porsef said, you canโ€™t stop people from lying. It isnโ€™t your sole responsibility to make up for someone elseโ€™s (especially a strangerโ€™s) lack of communication skills or difficulty in expressing their needs, so please put an emphasis on how you feel and what you want here. Itโ€™s worth taking some time to think about all of this, and yeah, itโ€™s not a bad thing to drop threads or sites if youโ€™re not feeling it anymore, despite whatever cool things have happened. You could always take a break too?
Catscape Meow!
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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 27, 2023 3:35:08 GMT
kmsdvlajvkefk
aliastanzaku, tanz, tan-tan, egao, protag, chapel, tbotc
pronounsshe/her
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๐Ÿ’– โ‡๏ธ baa ~ dumm! โ‡๏ธ ๐Ÿ’–
Part of the Furniture
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emotional over wallace event/alt


Thank you two! Being reminded that I can't control others was especially important. It's a life hack I've always kept in mind and it's been useful... But sometimes you just forget.

Essentially, it seems I should just care a whole lot less. Read less into people (especially since it's the net and all; you can't read half people half the time right) and just leave people to sort their own problems. I still feel bad when people don't enjoy a thread with me because I want them too. It's such a waste of energy and time to please people when you're supposed to be writing for fun and letting your inner child live. But yeah, there's only so much I can do.

Thanks again you two <3
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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 30, 2023 2:22:49 GMT
aliasSola
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Tell me which you dread more ; the echo or the answer?
As someone who sometimes also worries that people don't enjoy our threads and that they're stringing me along just because I want it: I find opening a conversation when I feel overwhelmed by the ammount of replies I need to do shouldn't be intimidating. Especially in a community, dropping a thread shouldn't be a big thing. If you aren't feeling it, you aren't. 

I always do however try to offer one of two things:

  • Offer them the fact that we can call the thread finished, but plot out the ending so that you two can move onto something newer. It's okay to drop threads for this reason. 
  • Thank them for their time and offer something new either with the same character or a new character.


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asking your rp partner about dropping a thread because... written Oct 30, 2023 12:13:08 GMT
aliasThe Moustachioed Greek
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D-d-digimon!
I've had this thing happen to me several times where I lost motivation to do a certain thread and my replies slowed down to a screeching halt. I think it's fairly normal, since sometimes life happens, threads might lose momentum, or feel directionless and uneventful. I tend to be upfront about it if my RP partner asks me directly, but the problem is most people are too shy to ask. So yeah, communication is key as well as giving people space and not pushing them.
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