This is a loose connection to one of your points, so I apologize if this is not what you are looking for. Anyways, while TDOM here is not completely fixated on soulmates, it does have magic to allow for soulmates to exist. Essentially, our type of soulmates has a special type of connection where they can sense the pain of one another, even reaching lengths to potentially sense emotions.

Furthermore, we do a mixture of slice-of-life and fighting events, each with optional participation, so while your character may still get affected by the war plot, there is still potential to maintain a more slice-of-life style. As stated though, most of these connections are loose, so I completely understand if you ignore this. I figured I might as well throw it at you and see what happens. *shrugs* Anyways, the link is in the image and good luck on your search~!