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How do you orgnize yourself and handle stress?

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✦ MADearned bits
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Hello there fellow Pixler's[break]
The last year and few months for me have been insanely stressful. September of last year I had moved to Japan without a job. I had two months to find one. Thankfully by the end of the hurdle I did. The place is great, however, my position involves a lot of responsibilities. [break][break]

I thought that after my first year it would get better, but sadly it hasn't. I have tried so many things to try and help the situation. Most recently I started watching youtube videos on how to make and stick with daily schedules. I've tried this app called Fabulous that helps with these daily schedules, but only goes so far before you have to pay to continue to use it.
[break][break]
I had talked to my friend about how stressed I am and how on some days I just give up and turn into this horrible mess of a person that ends up shutting others out. He thought that scheduling alone is not going to help and that a change at work is going to have to happen... I've tried talking to my boss before, but I doubt any change will be happening soon. Things might stay the same for the next six months.[break][break]

To add to this, I run an RP forum which has sadly added to my stress levels. I've been lucky enough to have found staff members (along with a co-admin) that are understanding and have been able to run things while I work during the week. Still, it' something that gnaws at me for not being an ever-present admin.
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So here I am now, wanting to hear your own stories in hopes of finding kindred spirits and maybe even finding something that might help me with this busy schedule and the crazy amounts of stress.

last edit on Dec 6, 2018 22:29:02 GMT by ✦ MAD
pronounsHe/Him/His
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oh boy, where do i even start?

organize? pls, my life is in a constant disarray. sometimes i need gaga to remind me:



when really? i'm not, but it's nice to be told! though, organizing takes time! it depends on your schedule and what exactly all you do/what exactly is your busy schedule in order to give a proper response to your post, . :c but, i think, it'll just take awhile before you can get the hang of it. cause as you said, you're stressed! it shouldn't be expected that you get everything down pack in one swing! i mean you have a job, you're living in frickin' japan--



i don't know where you were originally living, but you've only been there for a small while now (?), so it's only natural that this is still taking sometime/you're getting accustomed to your environment.

from the sounds of it you like your job (somewhat i'm assuming), and those responsibilities are probably what's drowning you! i actually found a pretty unique video of someone showcasing how they keep organized [ click here ]! it's a pretty short video, and a tumblr link, but i thought it was pretty unique/creative!! i don't know if this will inspire you or help a little bit, but i'll make sure to keep a look out or alert you if anything more helpful involving organizational tips and vids sprout/come across platforms i reside on! as for the issue with expecting to see change at work? sometimes you have to be a bit more...i don't want to say pushy? i guess, for lack thereof wording, try to bring it up every now and then? y'know, to serve as a reminder or to help move those changes, if that's not asking to much from your job. :c if this change so to speak will definitely help lighten your stress, i say continuously advocate the change you wish to happen at your job by thoroughly trying to slide it in every now and then as a reminder for your boss that this will really help strengthen your productivity more then it is now; especially if it'll relinquish some stress!



i may not be able to offer much toward real life advice, but for rp advice! i say don't feel too bad about not having a presence on site. honestly, as long as you're there out of characterly and able to help oocly, that's all that matters. and if you can't afford to spend an hour or two with your members, then that's also okay! like you said, you have a great staff helping you out--so they should be pretty understanding, all that matters is that you're there to help when you can be/offer opinions/ideas/mend situations when you can. you don't have to be active icly, but oocly is all that matters/helps keep a site going/strong when they see the head admin's presence!

remember:



and if it gets to be too much, take a break. let your co-admin do it up while you gather yourself and recalibrate those thought juices! b/c you earned it, you need it, and you deserve it.

now....



and gimme a wiggle.






last edit on Dec 6, 2018 0:05:41 GMT by light
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I dunno if you're still looking but I'll throw this out for anyone else that may need it too.

Alarms. Everywhere.

This may help this may not but I realized awhile ago that when trying to keep a schedule the idea of tracking the time and constantly looking at my phone and telling myself I only have 5 more minutes stressed me to the extreme. Something about feeling restricted by the number on a clock just gets to me. I started setting alarms. I set 2 depending on what the thing is. For example if I need to leave at a specific time to get to work on time I set alarm 1 twenty minutes before I need to leave the house and the second one right at the time that I need to leave. It created a low stress system in which I get a warning alarm saying its almost time to leave make sure I have everything and then a time to leave one. This system eliminated the stress of keeping track of time while also keeping me in check so I don't fall apart. I don't know how feasible this might be for work because depending on your job that may not even be allowed but it may be worth while to try and implement it in your home life especially if time is something you're stressing out about a lot! I've found this works well because it's not in your face, it's very in the background and it means you don't really have to think that you are doing it just be aware of it happening.

I like efficiency so I pair activities together a lot. Kill two birds with one stone and all that, for example if I'm making dinner and waiting for something to cook I'll do some of the dishes while I wait so I'm still nearby to check on the food but I'm actively getting another chore out of the way too. This also helps keep me "in the mode" so to speak, I've already prepped and started dinner so I'm already in a productive mental state, keep it going by doing other productive things.

I also try and do certain things as soon as I get home from work for the same reason. Need to clean the living room? It'll be tempting to just come home from work and sit down for a bit because you were at work all day- i don't. I immediately start doing whatever cleaning or chore needs to be done because my brain and body are already awake and ready to go and it helps to utilize that as much as you can- plus it means you're not sitting down just to get up and do more later.

I'm sure you've been told to try lists but even if lists don't work write stuff down. Always have a notebook and write down anything and everything that you might need for later or just want to make note of. It helps ingrain it into the brain and gives you reference for later. Even if you have to find 5 minutes looking for the right page the fact that you can hunt down a single page instead of skimming through a hundred emails can streamline important information in your life, not to mention the physical existence of things has a different bearing on the mind that words on a screen does.

Do a little each day. It's really easy to make yourself think it all needs to be done at once but it really doesn't. House a disaster after the holidays or visitors? Well you're only human and one human at that, do the dishes today and tidy up a living room table. Tomorrow you can take care of the counter tops and the kitchen floor and by the time the week is over you'll have cleaned up the house without stressing yourself out. This goes for other stuff too, it's easy to try and do too much which quickly becomes over bearing- break your activities and chores up where ever possible so you're draining yoursef.

ETA: Going to make a reminder about alarms here too, if you find it easier time yourself! Set an alarm for say, 20 minutes and do as much as you can in that 20 minutes. When the alarm goes off finish what you're doing and then drop it for the night. It may not seem like a lot but you'd be surprised how much you can get done in 20 minutes when you're not worrying about how much time you have left and just keep doing things.

We all have things like gaming and writing that we can use as a destressers but when you do an activity regularly as destressing as it can be it can also tend to become a little stressful (such as when you admin an rp site) find something else that also destresses you and make time for it. Even when you tell yourself you don't have the time train yourself to do it anyway. It won't happen over night. I'll use myself as an example: writing and gaming only go so far for me but a good bubble bath? oh that's heaven. And time consuming. So I've made myself do it once every couple of weeks just as am added nudge of relaxation. Once every couple of weeks doesn't feel like taking too much time out for it but it's enough to help. So if say you find watching movies super relaxing make a point to st down with some popcorn and watch one every couple of weeks! Or read for half an hour every few days, even if it's just a small chunk of time it still matter and it still helps.

and remember routines are hard to build and some people are just wired for it more than others (I've shown ocd tendencies since childhood and mental illnesses that find comfort in routines are fairly common on my father's side for example, so building routines was ingrained into me as a child) you're going to slip up those first few weeks and a lot of it is just finding what works for you and building on it. Take a moment here and there to look at what's happening when you're feeling stressed and try to determine why beyond just "i'm so busy" what specifically about the thing is making you stressed? The more you learn about what gets to you personally the more you can do to help keep yourself calm and make things easier on yourself! You don't need any super deep self reflection or anything but a little bit of tracking yourself and your own responses can go a long way to helping you figure out what works for you too.

Keep your chin up and remember what you've got in your life that makes you smile ovo when you're worried about how stressed you are take a moment to think about the good things, it's hard to do but even if you only do it for a moment you gotta make yourself smile here and there too!

last edit on Dec 29, 2018 21:03:14 GMT by endless
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Stress for me has always been a constant thing. I get very stressed out over really simple things that normally people don’t think about. I grew up in a family where you sort of don’t talk about your feelings - and with a lot of boys. As a little bitty girl, I was surrounded by male relatives and a lot of male siblings. So, their best way to handle their stress was usually either not talking about it or lashing out. I chose to just… not talk about what’s bothering me, and that is a conduit for a lot of stress. Especially as an adult. It really fucked up my ability to talk to others about what’s bothering me, or having meaningful conversations. I usually come off very vague and inattentive, always giving short answers to things when I have, literally, so much shit to say but I’m too shy to say it.

I’m not an organized person, though. I can’t help you there, I’m a disorganized mess and proud of it.

I’m just now reaching an age where I’m just, “I need to fix myself, I need to develop better habits, better relationships and a much more positive outlook on life.” It’s never too late to change, I’m coming to find out. After joining the Navy three years ago, I’ve noticed that slowly but surely that I’ve become a different person. A better person. I want to make new friends, and I want to fix relationships that I’ve messed up. The saying goes that you are your own worst enemy, and really it’s a truthful one.

Anyway, I deal with stress by being really… self-indulgent. Self-care is really important to me. Whether it’s buying new video games I want (I just recently bought a Switch! And I think Breath of the Wild is taking over my life, nbd) or just taking really long showers. Doing things I want to do makes me really happy. I never got to do a lot when I was younger! So, I’m trying to feel in the gaps now by doing things I enjoy. It helps handle my stress. Knowing I’m financially stable, knowing I’m healthy, knowing I have a job that pays me twice a month. I have my family, too! All that is enough. All of it makes me happy.

Stress won’t ever go away, it’s a part of life. But I’m a lot different than I was before. I’m happy with how 2018 is ending, because this year was tough for me. But I’m alive, I’m okay. And sometimes, that’s really all that matters.
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