aliasvale
pronounsthey/them, he/him
67written posts
offlinecurrently
"Hmm... Are you comfortable talking to me, Itsuki?"
dollhouse — clover caravello
if you only hallucinate 10% of the time what's your hallucination doing for the other 90%, do you think they have a day job or what
—Life has always been perfect.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, and the happiest I'll always be.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who say that when they're trying to hide from the unsightly truth, when they can't bear to face reality any longer,
But I'm happy. Whatever would there be, for me to escape from?
Straight out of a dream; that's what I always whisper to myself, back straight and posture poised, smiling with my hands folded at the dinner table. When I laugh, it's over the sound of pleasant conversation, over the smiling faces of my mother and father, whose own hands intertwine at their sides where they think I can't see them.
I don't have siblings, but I'm sure they would laugh along with me, if they had the chance.
Sometimes, my father gets home from work late, like something's happened, but he never explains. Sometimes, my mother doesn't sleep until the early hours of the morning— I can hear her in the kitchen downstairs, even though I don't say anything.
Sometimes, when it all comes to a head, I think about moving out— but I don't, because I've promised to be a good child. (Even now, when I'm hardly a 'child' anymore.)
I don't have siblings, but I'm sure they would struggle a little, too. It doesn't mean they're not happy, like I am.
The sky is always clear, and the winds are always gentle, and the hearth is always lit, and when our family gathers around the fireplace to pay respects to the Lady who keeps us safe and warm, there is no obligation lining our words, no bitterness, no regret. Our love is genuine, a guiding light.
I don't have siblings, but I'm sure they'd love her, too. I'm sure we'd love one another.
When I do my hair in the morning, every strand brushes down easily, save for one. No matter how many times I pin it down, in the mirror's reflection, it always sticks up.
I can pat it down myself, feel it slick against my skin, raise my hand to cover it, but the reflection is always different. It just won't go down.
I don't have siblings, but don't you think this is what they'd look like, if I did...?
"...Hello, stranger," I murmur into the mirror, pressing my hands up towards the glass.
My hands do not reach back, in my reflection. They stand eerily still, as if they're waiting for something.
"Are you trapped? Are you lost?"
They look unhappy. That's not right. I'm happy. When have I ever not been happy?
I said they'd be just like me.
"Poor thing."
Like a lost lamb, separated from the herd. What direction were you wandering in, before you forgot what it is you were here to do?
"I can change that."
Life could be perfect for you, too.
"Don't you want to be free?"
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"hello, i'm nazuna nito, a member of ra*bits!"
art credit @ ryoko kui - dungeon meshi official art |
