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Staffing Confessions

pronounsshe/her
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Mizo
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If you are reading this, I am beautiful.
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I am utterly terrified that my new site won't work out. I feel like everything I start is doomed to fail, this being no exception. Sometimes I wonder if I should even try at all- there's not a lot that feels worse than investing hundreds of hours into something you love only to realize you're the only one who cares.
Hey, I understand how you feel, but ultimately, you started your site as something you're excited about, and as long as you stick with it, you'll eventually find people that will like it as much as you do. I get that things don't always work out, and it can feel especially disheartening that people are lukewarm at best about something you poured your heart and soul into, but that just means the right people will feel as invested as you are.

Ultimately, I agree that the downsides seem terrifying, but I think the most terrifying thing is not to try at all, and leave yourself regretting and wondering if it would work out, and if you should have done it. It's better to fall than to never try flying- do what you like, and others that like the same thing will show up, no matter how slowly it takes. Good luck.

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I'm tired of ad's being put in the wrong board. It makes more work for me and I'm to the point of not even bothering with them. You should know which board to post in, but it is to the point where I believe you are posting in the wrong board on purpose because you believe I won't check. Can't help but wonder how many other sites you attempted this with that decided not to put up with the bull crap.
last edit on Apr 29, 2020 12:58:07 GMT by Deleted
pronounsshe / they
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the edgelord
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I am utterly terrified that my new site won't work out. I feel like everything I start is doomed to fail, this being no exception. Sometimes I wonder if I should even try at all- there's not a lot that feels worse than investing hundreds of hours into something you love only to realize you're the only one who cares.
Hey, I understand how you feel, but ultimately, you started your site as something you're excited about, and as long as you stick with it, you'll eventually find people that will like it as much as you do. I get that things don't always work out, and it can feel especially disheartening that people are lukewarm at best about something you poured your heart and soul into, but that just means the right people will feel as invested as you are.

Ultimately, I agree that the downsides seem terrifying, but I think the most terrifying thing is not to try at all, and leave yourself regretting and wondering if it would work out, and if you should have done it. It's better to fall than to never try flying- do what you like, and others that like the same thing will show up, no matter how slowly it takes. Good luck.



gonna echo mizo. but! friendly reminder that a site is simply another minuscule dust speck in the vast expanse and if you are over-complicating it with unnecessary expectations, it's gonna be hard to enjoy yourself despite getting interested folks. there's no harm in having fun even if you put in a lot of work and things don't go the way you wanted! sometimes they do not and that's okay.

plus, what's your definition of success here? are you shooting for having chill times with five members that you like? not too tough, that. wanting it to stay open for the next three years? different level of commitment. things happen, which can make your big plans moot sometimes, and honestly? what brings in other people is outside of your control and occasionally very superficial.

so be a little kinder to yourself. having a realistic expectation is healthier than stewing in your anxiety about binary ideas on what an outcome oughta be. you've tried hard while doing setup, so take some delight in your accomplishment! you're beating yourself up before anything's happened yet! even if only you like it, so what? then you have an original setting or cast for a story instead. just enjoy being creative; you aren’t failing anyone or anything no matter what happens, and the effort you put in has to run full circle and be for yourself too!
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I just noticed the conversation from earlier and agree with and . Staff confession, just to add onto this. If I know it is possible that a troubled member is going to join my friends' site, I do give them a heads up. Since in my view point of troubled member, they were banned from the site I'm on. Of course I do ask the other staff first, or well the main admin mostly if it is okay first, since I don't want to give away too much information with the hope they'll learn from their mistake and grow from it, but I'd feel like crap if I didn't give a heads up and that person joined my friend's site and started a mayhem with them.
last edit on Jul 13, 2021 19:10:30 GMT by Deleted
pronounsshe/her
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✿ honeybee ✿
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two trucks
i really like affiliating with other sites! i really like the buttons and being friends with people, even though it's more like the sites are friends as opposed to me and the site runner. like yes please let's trade buttons and be button buddies omg??

pronounshe, him
561written posts
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✿ honeybee ✿ Avatar
i really like affiliating with other sites! i really like the buttons and being friends with people, even though it's more like the sites are friends as opposed to me and the site runner. like yes please let's trade buttons and be button buddies omg??


Now I want to exchange buttons with friends in real life.

Well wait... that isn't many buttons T_T
frog on the floor
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pronounsany
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pharaoh leap
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i've been having some pretty dark thoughts.
The one time as staff I ever fudged things in my favor was on the first site I personally admined, back when I was a smol bean (probably about thirteen). My elder sister RPed on the same forum, and both of us shipped one of our characters with another character on the site, resulting in this completely unplanned love triangle plot that I genuinely to this day don't know if the third RPer was actually into at all, or just went along with because he was nice, sdfjlkhdkjfdhs. February rolls around, and we ran a romance roulette event - y'know, as you do - and the dice roller put together sis's character and this dude. My brain was like, "Oh no, if that happens, they're guaranteed to get together!!!!" Not only did I fudge the results, but I did it after I told my sister about the initial results, so it was???? *wipes sweat from brow* I didn't even swap with my character, and I'm pretty sure the whole event fell through before it even launched, but I felt so guilty about that one (1) situation that it... it haunts me... to this very day.............

Outside of that, the only time I ever really fudge usually randomized rolls is for narrative purposes/interest, and never for anyone's particular harm or benefit. It's always struck me as weird to hear about people's experiences with staff that supposedly abused their positions to give themselves an obvious advantage, because the one time I ever tried that, it felt so icky, and doing that completely defeats the purpose of even trying to keep up a front of mechanics or randomization? I don't mind people doing what they want on their own forums, since you should enjoy yourself on your site, but at that point, just don't set up a pretense of something you're not. Especially when it gives other admins a bad rep for when the dice fall in their favor. *sweats profusely*
pronounsshe/her
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syhrinx
Spring '21 Dev Completionist
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leap's last post reminded me.. even though i like to pretend i have never staffed a site before, i have ... staffed a couple. but when i was really young... and stupid. amongst my many crimes, i remember two in particular:

 - my youngest, i made a harry potter site. used the base skin for invisionfree at the time. thought i could somehow make it seem like it was active by making about 150 accounts by myself and roleplay between all these characters. i could not. make it seem active. OR roleplay with myself. i made about 30 weasley characters just by using a random name generator. i was very stupid

- one time for a site, i think it was actually somewhat successful?!?!?!??! which was BONKERS because i was not even above 13 years of age probably yet and had absolutely no business pretending to be a responsible person. (somewhat successful to me means that at least 1 person joined who i didn't con into it) anyway, i was irresponsible. i jokingly PMed a member who was apping a character that they couldn't rp that character "because i am already planning on playing something similar. sorry" THEY WERE SO SAD oh my god i was so fucking mean?!?!? ! of course i caved and was like "no im just kidding im sorry!!!!" but like... the mental damage. the emotional pain. i am so sorry, person from like 15+ years ago. i'm so sorry

;____; i've changed,, i'm a better person now,, more importantly i am in my twenties and not a tiny sprout
phantom of the black parade
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Kuroya
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what do you want to know? my height, hobbies, quirks, the color of my underwear?
also bouncing off what said-

the only times i have ever nudged rng to change results as a staffer (at least that i can remember) are when i was doing thread roulettes, and it was never to anyone's actual detriment - it was always "oh no this member hates that member let me nudge that a little bit" or "omg no this super fast newbie got paired with this super slow established member we're gonna be fixing that" or even once "mmmmmmm i think this person might have ditched so let's just quietly nudge them to end up with me so it's my problem." like don't get me wrong, sometimes i was really tempted towards crappy mod rolls for some members who drove me absolutely nuts but i don't think i ever gave into my wish to destroy them with wild pokemon (if only because i didn't know if they would genuinely want the crappy pokemon i'd give them tbeh-)

stultifera navis
aliasnines
pronounsshe/her
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ninelie
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VOLITION [Medium: Success]
nothing sucks more than when you get a few members who just don't like whatever new additions or updates you've rolled out on your site. as if trying to provide more content for your member base means that certain plans they might have are derailed and it is absolutely your fault for not being a mindreader about things.
phantom of the black parade
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what do you want to know? my height, hobbies, quirks, the color of my underwear?
sometimes i wish it was a lot more acceptable to just. "hey this is the core idea for a site, take it and expand on it as you see fit" (or really any kind of setup where you can hand off some of the development stuff but not be responsible for the staffing portion) since like..... there's so many rp ideas / sites i would love to be on but just don't have the time / energy to actually staff
last edit on May 5, 2020 17:54:17 GMT by Kuroya