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1. I welcome them. In fact, I want my members to move the plot along themselves, rather than the staff doing it through events. Of course, there's a fine balance between the two, as giving members full control could potentially change more than what you as staff want for the site, and controlling every plot change with an event can give you a lot more work than you need.
If there's major changes to the plot, like world destruction or killing a major canon character, I'd prefer it if the members gave me a heads up, but from experience, most members are mature and considerate when it comes to these things, and you could always state in the rules or guidelines that major plot elements should be discussed with staff if you're unsure how lenient you want to be.
2. Pre-established relationships between canon characters have both upsides - and downsides. On one hand, the canon characters can immediately jump into threads and plots, because there's already someone their character know, without having to go through the process of figuring out who their canon character would know, but on the other, to some, it might feel a little restrictive?
I'd say it comes down to how much the pre-established relationship is detailed. Does it come with a long history of two people fighting alongside each other, having spent years out in the field, have they had a prior or current romantic relationship? Or is it more open for each person to decide for themselves? Like you mentioned, Character Alpha is captain of the knights, and received their training from Character Beta - this leaves a lot of room for the two players to mutually agree on the two character's relationships. Do they hate each other? Do they respect each other? Perhaps they never really got along as friends, but their fighting chemistry was great?
3. I'd either make the character a staff run NPC, or open the position back up again, stating the character's past history, personality or other important factors one would need to know in order to play a character whose presence are widely known. Maybe it would be beneficial for the plot to kill the character off, or say that they had to leave their position? I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here and I'd just go with my guts at the time, tbh.
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