finally doing right by myself and carefully picking who i am willing to write with/form closer bonds with.

it probably sounds a little bad, but i'm genuinely tired of shit getting weird or people getting obsessive and then exploding later on. being more particular about who and what i'm putting energy into is better for me in the long run, and keeps my interest in writing intact.

shoulda made the decision a while ago, but. we live and we learn the hard way.

really does feel kinda like a gut punch, losing caution

the single hour with my therapist is not going to be enough this week.

have been sick on and off for two weeks like,,

if the year doesn't get better after this i will burn this mf down

it's okay to want things just for myself

i deserve that, too

that cats would steal baby's breath!

it's a superstition i heard all the time as a kid, but i was always so bummed abt not being able to have a cat at home bc i lived in a multi-generational household and there were always babies who could be smothered by the cat going into their bassinet and stealing their little breaths right out of their mouths!

i know better now obvs but man... so many years catless...

been listening to mila tequila's complete retelling of jersey shore as smth mindless to listen to

i forgot how truly dramatic (and iconic) the early eps were

happy happy new year pixel perfect peeps 🎉🎉
wishing you good health + happiness!

merry christmas and happy holidays everyone!

five good things that happened to me this year:

• made a full year in therapy. it was a very big step for me, and i've come super far. onto bigger and better things!
• got straight a's this past semester. blood, sweat, and literal tears went into it so! very proud
• finally got some time to get back into writing. i really needed the creative outlet
• cut some toxic relatives out of my life finally (thank you therapy!). i am genuinely better off without them, and a lot healthier mentally for it
• pet so many cats this yr. my friend's mom has 15 on her own and they were all so affectionate and sweet.

currently playing fe: engage cos i got it as an xmas giftie
though i probably should get around to playing more rf5...

animanga is actually not my preferred medium. i don't have one! i flop back and forth between animanga and real life all the time, because for me, each one has very specific genres/site types that i like. i know that, in theory, both could do either. it really is just the face type that changes. but in my head, i think different types suit one or the other. i don't know how to explain it!

i've been in my animanga era for a few years now, though, but it's not like i feel tethered here. i just have a bigger pull to the faces currently. they're a bit easier for me to vet, and i can imagine some characters a bit easier in animanga form (though that doesn't exactly stop me from mentally fancasting some with rl faces. i do that on occasion for fun). i am pretty picky though, i think, so rl is a bit harder in that regard. it also does have a bunch of rules, which was previously mentioned. age limits, being mindful of their reputation, etc. which, chill. i don't usually mind. but some people get weird about wanting to use faces under 18 and that icks me out.

animanga is fun and that is why i stay, but the site type itself is what really makes or breaks my decision-making, not really the medium.