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the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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The Law Avatar
How does one go about silencing their inner critic? That's a secret technique I wanna know. Because I think more so than time constraints, this is what's keeping me from writing (including for RPs) as much as I would like to.


I tell myself that it doesn't have to be good, and the only people who will read it are people who are already invested in the story and the characters (because why would they agree to write with me in the first place if they didn't like my ocs?) and then I write it, with the primary goal of telling enough story to give my rp partner something to respond to. If it reveals something more in-depth about the characters, or the characters get cool moments, or I stumble into a turn of phrase that I'm especially proud of, that's great, but I don't go into the writing with these things in mind.

Of course, this advice doesn't apply if you're writing for a professional publication, or any other setting where impartial critique is expected. In that case I can't help you. I don't even let my own husband read my writing, since I don't expect him to say 100% positive things about it, and I know that I'd be sufficiently insulted/discouraged by negative feedback to let it affect my enjoyment of the hobby. (To date, no one has ever given me negative feedback - but I can safely assume that anyone who actively dislikes my writing can just opt for the conflict-averse route of not offering to write with me, and there's nothing wrong with that.)
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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Jenesisearned bits
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Just a magical kitten
15. echoes from afar
feat. eli



"Have a safe flight, madam." you slam your fist on the button.

you think you can hear her screaming your name as she ejects.

minutes that feel like hours later, as the Shooting Star comes apart, you bail out. you get lucky - you get extraordinarily lucky. small adjustments in the air change your trajectory miles across ground level. as your wings skim the surface of the sea, you see a harbor within sight. there's civilization, food, shelter, a doctor who won't ask too many questions. as soon as you're sure you're safe to travel again, it's none too much trouble to book passage off-world with a ragtag crew of scoundrels and assorted other hangers-on.

you don't start the firefight that kills everyone else aboard the ship. but you damn sure finish it.

you never learn the other side of the story.




"Captain! You're okay!"

"Are you all--"

"Where the hell is Eli?"

the kid's shrill voice cuts like a knife.

the Captain clutches her in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault..."

she holds her close, until her tears dry, and her sobs cease.

eventually, they find the place where your old ship crashed. they find the black box. their engineer is crafty, and boots up a recording. "Maybe he left us a final message." hoping against hope, they boot up the recording.

"Right then. Time to go." it's the last they hear of your voice. past that, there's only the lonely sounds of the wind, followed by a sickening crash.

the kid is distraught.

"He's dead, isn't he... otherwise, he'd have come back for us... he always said not to leave anyone behind."

"We'll keep looking," the Captain says. "If anyone's seen him, we'll find out."

unfortunately for their hunt, you've centuries of expertise in evading pursuit. they only last a few years before calling it quits.

once a year, though, the crew returns to the crash site.

the kid always brings a small chocolate cupcake with a single candle. she remembers, whenever you had the opportunity, you'd always treat yourself to one on your personal day off at the end of the first month of the new year. she doesn't know why it was special to you - she never asked, and you never told. but she can hazard a guess.

her flames are honed to precision now. she lights the candle with a single finger, and watches it burn.

and she silently makes the same wish, before blowing it out.
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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Jenesisearned bits
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I kinda get pre-releases and beta access are hot in gaming, but I don’t quite see the point for roleplay.

I can see the appeal, specifically for testing site features. Sometimes you as an admin can tunnel in on your vision and it helps to get feedback from third parties like "this membergroup skin's colors hurt my eyes" or "this part of the guidebook doesn't make sense" before opening the floodgates to the general public.

Extra Dimensional Cat Avatar
tenebrae Avatar
do people still use "muse" to describe their writing mood/energy? or am i just weird and/or old? actually, did anyone ever do that? or was it just me???

I'm having a crisis rn...
I do! In my circle it's fairly commonly used too, but usually when I have a discussion about it on here a few people pop up that say they don't need muse to write. So it's not universal.

I am a Weird Old and most of the people I see using it are 5-10 years younger than me SO...
last edit on May 28, 2024 17:59:26 GMT by Jenesis
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
pronounsShe/her
347written posts
Jenesisearned bits
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Just a magical kitten
16. gunsmoke & mirrorshine
feat. eli / midquel to 29. coming home / sequel to 27. free fall & 06. how have you been?



Hermes, do you remember that day I told you to make the call?

You made me promise that you wouldn't regret this.


plan A has failed. plan B has failed. you're all the way down to plan Ω.

they drag Hermes - the supposed mastermind of your little operation - before their leader. he wants to finish him off personally, but before that, he can be goaded into engaging in a bit of gloating first. Hermes is good at that. it's one of those things you always admired about him.

as always, he's wearing the large backpack with the radio antenna sticking out of it. he continues to run his mouth, but there's no way he can call for help at the juncture - you all know that. what the enemy don't know is that you never went into this mission with any hope of receiving backup the first place.

none of them are looking out the window.

they don't offer him any last words. but he takes them anyway.

"It's not a radio, you idiots."

you pull the trigger, make the perfect, pinpoint shot.

a second later, Chronos's best and brightest invention levels the building.




you insist on picking over the remains. there's nothing but ash. as far as your government will eventually claim, there was never anything there at all.

"Should we. Bring something back of him?" Chronos asks you.

you shrug. "Do what you want."

the time for regrets is long over.
last edit on Jun 9, 2024 17:10:43 GMT by Jenesis
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
pronounsShe/her
347written posts
Jenesisearned bits
offlinecurrently
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Just a magical kitten
04. call a storm warning, but not for me
feat. altair and eli



your uncle Eli is not easy to find.

typically, he avoids you, and when you happen to be in the same place together, he has little to say. but you've picked up some information here and there, from your parents and from patient observation, and today is the day you finally decide to confront him.

he's sitting on the couch, watching the weather report. you hesitate, insecure, waiting for the appropriate moment to speak, waiting for him to take a break. you realize he's noticed you for a while now when he unexpectedly speaks. "What."

his eyes are still glued to the TV.

"I was wondering, Uncle... would you do me the honor of sparring sometime? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you... but neither of my parents uses knives."

"When?"

"Ah..." you don't have an answer prepared. you didn't expect him to say 'yes' so easily.

"Tomorrow? S'posed to be a hard rain."

your lip curls into a frown. you know he's well aware of your magical abilities. "Are you mocking m--"

you didn't even notice the moment he sprang at you, placed the knife against your throat.

"I win."

"You don't win," you say, the disdain evident on your face. "At most, it's a draw."

without moving his head, his eyes flicker down. in the span of time you had to react on instinct, you've conjured up an ice knife, pressed it against his ribs.

he smirks infuriatingly. "Think I'll live. How 'bout you?"

you concede the point.

"Come back to me when you've named your terms. I got only one: I don't hafta listen to your parents bitch at me for what I'm gonna do to you."




"So you'll use your knife and your wings, and I'll use my daggers and my magic, and we'll have a medic on hand, fight until unable to continue or a killing blow is acknowledged." you draw your knives from their sheaths, enter a fighting stance. "Begin."

he nods, draws, and slowly circles you. staying mobile, but staying patient, opportunistic.

this is good.

you let out a deep breath, engage your magic. a chilling aura slowly spreads out from your position, and as he's assessing this newest development, you charge in. step forward, release a sheet of ice over the ground, and slide. his face is unchanged as he lightly hops up, lands back on the ice sheet, then--

he takes the fight to you.

Fast!

it's all you can do to dodge and occasionally parry as his aggression strains at your concentration. you strive to keep your distance, waiting for him to slip - to trip up - but it's only after you conjure a massive stalactite, forcing him to break away, that you see it. four of his wings are wrapped tightly around his chest and arms, keeping them insulated against your cold - and as he's gliding across the ice, his forewings extend occasionally - helping keep his balance as he weaves into turns with grace.

Bastard, you realize. He's done this before.

you extend your arm, fling a handful of ice shards in his direction. he dodges with infuriating ease.

you repeat the motion with your other arm. this time there's a second of momentary hesitation before he backpedals away from a hail of ice shards crashing down from above. you note with grim satisfaction a small cut just above his knee. First blood.

there's no time to rest on your laurels, though. as he pauses to catch his breath, you grow your ice - sliding over your opponent's foot - you aren't prepared when he turns the knife upward, smashes down with a fist, shattering it as he leaps into the sky.

even with only two wings out, he easily clears your aura's radius, rotates the knife again as he prepares to dive. on instinct, you summon an array of shards to defend.

then... he stops.

hovers, and smirks.

from where he is, you can't attack him in more than one direction - and it seems he's realized this. you continue your assault, sending knife after knife lancing through the air, but he's spread all his wings now, and his movements are precise, controlled, never more than he needs to evade.

you grit your teeth. "You can't stay up there forever!"

he cocks his head. "Can't I?"

you realize then, you never put a time limit on this battle. and now you've trapped yourself in a prison of your own making.

drop your defenses, and he'll slaughter you before you can resummon them again. keep them up, and you'll eventually run dry of either magic or willpower, and be a sitting duck for his next strike.

you pull your aura back, but he doesn't take the bait. he's measured your area of control - leisurely drifting through the air in time with your own movements, always just outside your reach. the trickle of blood running down his leg has already slowed to a stop.

you continue to attack. you need to keep him busy while you think up your next move - because what else can you do?

eventually, you have to stop to catch your breath. when you next blink, he disappears.

you strain into the sun, and a shadow crashes down on you, knocking you to the dirt. your ribs ache. there's a blade at your throat again.

"I yield," you gasp.

he gets up and walks off without another word.




over the weeks that follow, you challenge Eli again and again, each time trying new iterations on your strategy. each time you fail.

your parents offer to help, but you wave them off. no, this is something you've got to do yourself. begging assistance would be a defeat. modifying the ruleset would be a defeat. you may not have been the cleverest, the most self-assured of your blood siblings - but here and now, there is one determination that drives you: you will not rest until you, alone, are enough.

you may not be able to contend directly with his inhuman speed and endurance, but at long last, you find something you can exploit: once Eli thinks he has found a method to victory, he will rely on it, every time, until a variable changes. you spend long nights, practicing in your room, recalling all of the duels you witnessed at the University, searching for every edge you can use.

you can't bring out any of them, until you're certain you've enough of them to succeed.




you no longer begin by bringing out your aura or ice field. he's too fast, and too prepared. this time, you simply go on the attack. massive columns of ice rain down from the sky above, and you retreat, retreat ever further, even as he dodges every one.

proceeding as planned.

back into the field of ice columns you go, conjuring thin rails of ice for bursts of speed to keep pace with him, dissipating them in your wake. you slide up a tilted column to gain the high ground, even as you fling a small rain of shards in his direction. he spreads his wings, leaps up to a column, prepares to kick off for an aerial lunge. just as he does, you collapse the column into liquid water. he catches himself and glides to the ground easily.

right where you need him.

pulling moisture from the air, manifesting it into solid form by your will alone, requires immense amounts of magical power and concentration. but manipulation of existing ice? substantially swifter.

a column reforms into a chain, and you wrap it around his arm. without missing a beat, he stabs downward at it, snapping it, readying his knife to strike at you again, but your plan is in full swing now, and reforged chain after chain are lashing at his wings, his legs, his throat. Grip. Crush. Pull. there's a sickness rising in your throat, thinking of what a horrible way it would be to go, being literally torn apart, but you remind yourself this is Eli you are dealing with, and in your shared line of work, quarter is neither asked nor given.

he readies his knife to throw. you preempt him, pulling a spear from the ice and sliding up to his weak side, pressing it up under his chin.

"Yield, or die."

"Tap," he chokes out bitterly, a raspy whisper.

you don't know if you're more impressed to have won the fight, or to have finally gotten an emotion out of him. you release your magic. the ice dissipates in a shower of sparkles.

and you collapse onto the ground.




frustratingly, Eli gets up before you do. he offers his off-hand, your strong hand, to pull you up, and you're honestly grateful as you accept.

"How long'd it take you to learn that?"

you gasp. "Long enough."

"You look fine, but I'd check with the doc in any case. Fun fight. Let's do it again sometime."

you can't hide your exasperation as you level your eyes at him. "You call that fun?"

"In a real fight, I'd have shot you dead from a hundred meters away."

you concede the point.

"You're right, Uncle," you say with a smile. "So would I."
last edit on May 25, 2024 1:37:39 GMT by Jenesis
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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Hi, I'm Jenesis.

Enter a familiar world where old is new once more. Where every man, woman, and child dreams of glory and where Legends and Myths collide. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Starting in Johto with one of 3 starters...

Do you have what it takes to reach to the pinnacle of Elitedom?


We are a Heart Gold/Soul Silver Pokémon RP based on the games, but you do not need to have played them to enjoy ZapdosZulu.

◓ A simple and player-friendly battle system. You only worry about the RP, Mods handle the numbers.

◓ Includes Pokémon from all Gens! Collect all your favorites.

◓ Become a member of the nefarious Team Rocket, or tryout for the International Police Force!


We're at 17 Years and Still Going Strong!
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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26. on judgement day, thy clarion sound
feat. eli



Acheron is dying.

it wasn't supposed to be like this. walking point was supposed to be your job. yet, after Odysseus-- vanished--

( you refuse to say left us. you don't have the heart to say died. )

the ones who are loyal to you want you to lead, to stay in the center, where you can best keep an eye on them. the ones who are otherwise don't trust you go off on your own, where they can't keep an eye on you.

no-one wants a repeat of last time.

and so it is that one of these idiots, your idiots, who didn't watch his feet, brought the entire goddamn building down on your heads.

a rumble, a shake, a crack, and something knocked you to the floor. when you got up, you saw Acheron, half his body mangled beneath a twisted pile of metal. even with both of all your strength, you couldn't pry him free.

"Hang in there. I'll bring back help--"

"Nyx, you can't." he's wheezing, blood dripping from his lips. "Just... finish it quickly. You know what they'll do to me if they take me alive. I told myself I'm never going through that again."

( you know what he means. it sucked, to be sure, but in hindsight, you didn't think DES-ERT was so bad. but clearly Acheron thought otherwise. )

you shake your head. you refuse to reward him for cowardice.

"Nyx, please--"

Acheron is begging. Acheron never begs.

you sigh, press Eirene to the bottom of his chin, guide his finger to the trigger.

"If it means so much to you... Do it yourself."

he thanks you, closes his eyes, and tastes metal.

the son of a bitch is tough. too tough. it takes you an additional two bullets before he stops breathing for good.

once you've cleaned off your pistol, you set about to cutting free what belongings of his you can salvage.

the tags will go to his family, or whatever's left of it. tell them a pretty story about "noble sacrifice", and they may even forgive him.

his gear will go back to headquarters, to be repaired, refitted, fed back into the war machine. his pack you sling over one shoulder, and Siren's Wail over the other, trying not to sag under her weight. you hope the next grenadier will take as good care of her as Acheron did. maybe even if she's lucky, if she's treasured, she'll even get a new name.

his rations will go to you. it's the least he owes you, after taking those bullets.

and his body?

let the enemy take it. or the crows. none of it matters to you, and it doesn't matter to Acheron either, not anymore.
the wheels are singing
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I just want you to know this all sounds excellent and if I weren't already maxed out on my capacity for rp, I'd join
Glad to hear it! This is still mostly an exercise of the mind, though. Current issue to tackle is, "How to handle an accessible system for lore expansion by writers?"

Like, by design there are a few mysteries in the world, and I'd like to have players be given the option to explore those, but in a way that makes it feel special to them. If I just chucked in a thread with "extra information" to read, it feels cheap since everyone has access to that. But if I offer to PM people with the info, I'm kinda putting them on the spot to express interest and ask for it, without knowing if anyone else already has, you know?

And maybe if I have two people who want to discover what makes the Vessels move, I may want to give each a piece of information and they have to get together to find out.

But how do you introduce such a system that is clean and accessible without unintentionally "filtering out" people by traits unrelated to the roleplay?

Really fun to think about.


Here's how I might do it:

Set up an "event hub" thread for the mystery, with an initial hook. Have players respond in-character with what their character wishes to investigate and why, and based on that response, DM them with a morsel of information. The players can see which other characters have joined the investigation, and can plot threads based on that. During the threads as the players share information and delve deeper into the mystery, inject some GM posts to provide plot twists and eventually, rewards: backstory on the mystery, a plot hook to investigate in the future, a useful resource/item (if your site has a resource mechanic), and/or simply a thematically appropriate cosmetic trinket. After the thread is done (or has progressed "far enough" that you consider it plot relevant), add a summary of the relevant additions to the event hub.

This would seem to solve all your problems: The extra information feels special because the players earned it through roleplay, the players know which other players are involved in the investigation without having to reach out directly and risk rejection, and the players don't need to use any systems other than the forum's own posting features (plus plotters/discord/DMs, whichever your site prefers to use for plotting).
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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Jenesisearned bits
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Kodiak Avatar
i don't want to say that i hate that this is a mood i'm having but. maybe this could be a fun exercise to try just to do it.
I think it's a nice way to make yourself think about "what would encourage people to write on my site?"

For my site's setting, the world is covered with endless water in every direction, and humanity ekes out a living on these drifting islands that seem to have a will of their own. There are habitable islands ("World Vessels") and uninhabitable islands ("Destruction Vessels").

The distinction is made by Destruction Vessels being enveloped by a strange mist and the presence of vicious creatures. When in a Destruction Vessel's mist ("Destruction Zone"), some humans are granted supernatural powers they can use only while within the Zone. Whenever World Vessels draw close to a Destruction Vessel, these people are thus tasked with protecting their Vessel from invasion by these creatures.

This has a few levers. If I want to focus on slice-of-life, I can just cut out the Destruction Vessels entirely and focus on how humanity makes a living on these World Vessels, and perhaps add some exploration into what these Vessels are, and who even named them that. (I have backstory, yo)

For those who like powers, the Destruction Vessel mechanic means I can let them have those without having to answer awkward questions of how a society is transformed by the presence of super-powered individuals (like in Hero Academia) without diminishing the role of "normal" people. If I want to lean into Dungeon-esque mechanics, I could have World Vessels anchor to Destruction Vessels to enable exploration on these mysterious islands.

I'm having a lot of fun considering what could appeal to this sort of writer and what could appeal to another, and a lot of "what would personally excite me" and the plots you could theoretically have on my site. Some of those plots I will be able to carry over to other sites too, so I'm already laying groundwork for future characters here.

Nothing gets the creative juice flowing like doing something creative.


EDIT: It looks like halfway through I lost my train of thought and just started rambling, but I'm going to leave it up anyway. 


I just want you to know this all sounds excellent and if I weren't already maxed out on my capacity for rp, I'd join
the wheels are singing
aliasJen, DeJener8
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23. unto the breach once more, with feeling
feat. eli / prequel to 29. coming home



it's Armistice Day. as usual, you take a personal day off, and as usual, no one says anything about it.

you open the mini-fridge, pull out a cold green apple-flavored energy drink, and crack it open, alongside your pocketbook.

then you sit back on your bed, slump backward against the wall, and let yourself drift.




hey, guys.

it's been another year. and guess what. I'm still alive. kinda messed up, isn't it? always thought I was gonna die in the war. then after I didn't a few times, we started joking that there wasn't a man alive who could kill me.

well, I've had a few close calls. but managed to scrape through, for the most part.

I still miss y'all, though.

wherever you are.

I'll see you someday. but not yet. ain't fixin' to die for a long, long time.

Hector... you always did know how to make me laugh. coulda used some of that this year. year was rough. money's tight, and the Captain and the XO fight a lot. I still can't believe the report, you know. that guy you knifed before they shot you up, did you know... nah. probably just a dumb coincidence. still, what a way to go out. I'd say you didn't deserve it, but you'd probably laugh at me.

didja know, they don't let me talk at the strategy meetings anymore? yeah, turns out "kick in the door and shoot everything that moves" ain't real popular around here. this crew at least, they do things different.

I wish you coulda been here to see it.

Ares, Apollo... you two first, I guess. get it over with. we never got on. I know that. you know that. still. I can't say I'm happy about it. suppose some things just are, and there isn't anything anyone can do about it.

Theseus... ya dumb kid.

I know it wasn't my fault.

sometimes mistakes just happen. and there isn't anything anyone can do about it.

damn shame, though.

you had a lot of life left in you. bet you coulda done real good for yourself, after the war. unlike some of us.

Artemis...

I hope you found that 'peace' you were always looking for.

I finally got to try that stew from your hometown you always talked about. it was good. you probably made it better, though.

Heracles, I'm taking your lessons to heart. you had the best land nav I've ever seen, before or since. learned a lot from you, even if you never really said much. crew's happy enough, at least. could always do better. wish we'd had more time. maybe I'd even get to see you crack a smile.

speaking of, Acheron, you remember that one time you taught me how to use a sextant?

yeah. it really came up. sensors all went dead, and oh shit, what's Eli doing busting out that piece of old-age technology? kids these days, they don't respect the classics. I did a real good job steering us back to port, too.

Chronos...

I hope you're living it up in Hell right now. always seemed like your kinda place.

explode a few demons in the face for me, will you?

(a sip of the drink.)

here's to you, Chiron.

it ain't your moonshine. but then again, nothing ever is.

I don't even know if I remember the taste anymore. probably for the best. taste was awful. sure weren't the taste that made it what it was. whatever secret sauce you put into that, felt real good in the braincase though.

Hermes... now that's a voice I don't think I'll forget, though.

Daedalus, I haven't crashed the Shooting Star yet. ain't you proud of me? well, okay, there was that one time. little clip of the wing. nothing serious, the fireball was easily contained, hey, no one died... though there was a bit of panic afterward. some cleanup.

our engineer made me install a 'fasten seatbelts' button after that. you'd get a kick out of it, I bet. "This is your pilot speaking." hah. recorded it myself.

don't show Hermes, though. he'd probably say the sound quality's awful.

(you slide your finger over the list of names, the ink creases in the paper.)

(you always save the topmost for last.)




"Guys? Is that smoke? Something cooking?"

"Everything is fine!"

"Are you sure? If there's an emergency, I can--"

"NO! Everything is FINE!"

it's the Captain's voice. you hear the clang of something fumbled to the floor, that sounds distinctly like a fire extinguisher.

"Don't worry about it! Everything is under control!"

muffled screaming in the background.

you squint at the door to your cabin for several moments, but eventually, you decide to trust.




so. Audie. that was my crew just now.

I told you they're good people, right? look at 'em, tryna tell me not to worry on my day off.

I still haven't told 'em. about you guys. about anything. oh, they know I got trouble with the home planet. I think someone - probably our security officer - just assumed it was a really bad speeding ticket, and I let 'em run with it. plausible enough.

maybe it wouldn't kill 'em if they found out. but it's not worth the risk.

to them or to me, you say? probably. probably to both.

besides, reciprocity. am I right?

no, I ain't never asked. no reason to. I trust 'em well enough. and they've been good about following my rules.

how long am I gonna keep it up?

ten years? twenty? who knows?

how long'd it take before I told you anything about where I grew up?

(close your eyes and think.)

I don't remember.

I don't remember a lot of things. I do remember, though, you always cared. you always put the men first.

that's why I never believed 'em when they said you'd desert us like that. you wouldn't. I'll take that one to the grave.

I know I've said it before, but, you'd like this crew.

they weren't us. nobody could ever be us. we were young, and stupid -- well, not all of us, but close enough -- and time and age and living hadn't broke us yet. those were the days. the days we ain't ever getting back.

we move on, though.

well. I did.

the rest of ya... don't wait for me. there's always gonna be a place in the back of my mind for you, but I don't expect the same.

I already told ya, I don't intend to die anytime soon.
last edit on May 16, 2024 18:14:57 GMT by Jenesis