once a year i get dragged down the pathologic abyss again.

this is that time of year.

echoing a lot of ppl here wrt "enthusiasm and energy" — it's a lot easier for me to be enthusiastic and confident about a thread, where it's going, and where it'll go in the bigger picture, making it easy to reply back if the other person shows a similar amount of effort, enthusiasm, energy, and investment. also genuinely SUCH a thing i appreciate. if you talk to me in dms and openly engage, talk about our shit, etc. (esp despite my general npc energy) with me? my dude, i'll love you and be so down to do anything with you quickly. it helps so much. 

i think stallas hit the mark in saying "if you post regularly and reliably". idk, if i see threads left incomplete (esp when its threads w other ppl and not me) it tends to make me feel uncertain just as well, esp on reply speed. it enables taking your sweet time, which is chill, but also tends to lend to a lot of stuff being either slow moving or never going to fruition. (on that, i have SO much respect for people who are willing to take accountability and be communicative/transparent if they can't finish threads, commit to plots, etc. i think its a major plus in rp-ing if you do. pls just talk to me, let me know whats going on, i'll respect it so much and work with that)

i also rlly like introspective threads, philosophical ones, those that are dev'ing characters and their feelings and personalities. so i love more character / personal-focused replies; it lets me do the same, and its just rlly fun to see similar or different opinions between characters. give me that contemplation to read and i'll feel so much compelled to return the favor.

i've been writing this character for almost 3 years (more than, bordering 5 if you count his old incarnation from a private rp that didn't get completed) and im genuinely so emo that his arc is closing out now. this passage from one of his last few posts rlly makes me feel a certain way:

a setting with similar vibes to masquerada: songs and shadows, dandy ace, the sexy brutale, or even just lyney & lynette's theming from fontaine. magic-fueled renaissance with glitz and glamor, circus carnival and venetian aesthetics. all that kinda stuff.

superheroes. thats it. thats the premise. i have so many feelings on superheroes that have surfaced thanks to spiderverse.

there's smth so narratively satisfying about killing off my characters icly / for narrative tbh. i can't wait to do it again.

not my last post, but a few snippets from some of my recent ones since i liked these a lot despite feeling a certain way re: my writing rn esp since i havent posted here in a fair while







and this next one is RLLY long so im spoilering it but its probably the passage im most proud of in my recent writing to date —

ayyyyy lets gooooo

-How familiar are you with Cyberpunk?
Played both major tabletop games (Cyberpunk RED and Cyberpunk 2020), the former as both a player character of multiple campaigns and a DM, the latter as a player character. Read RED’s handbook and familiarized myself with its lore. Played a bit of 2077, watched the first half of Edgerunners. So a fair bit?

-What do you think of when you hear “Cyberpunk”?
The genre. Gimme Blade Runner, Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, VA-11 Hall-A, heck even Orwell. I love the genre.

-Going with your first impulse, your gut feeling, what would your first character be like?
No lie would remake my favorite RED pc — a corpo nepotism exec baby who’s secretly moonlighting as a Banksy-type media exposing corpo practices in vidfeeds. Bruce Wayne/Batman but for the corporate takedown journalism community.

one of my closest and oldest rp friends just graduated today and i feel like such a proud mom even if we’re the same age

oh no i appreciate the input fully ! i wasnt planning on involving art that wasnt made by me in the slightest; a lot of the stuff im eyeing submitting have been redesigns, custom art, vectors, templates and mockups that were made from scratch. a lot of them were just inspired / based off old characters, their storylines, and aesthetics that ive gotten the design inspiration for.

thank you so much for the heads up and input ! ill be sure to keep it all in mind should i pursue <3

a couple of ppl who know me rl: you should apply to (big design company) ! they have a couple entry jobs, good pay, and good benefits + it's up your alley
me, looking at the joblisting: ok actually i can probably do that
me, beginning the application process: ...wait i don't have a portfolio nvm
me, an hour later, after getting bored and sifting through a bunch of folders in my laptop: what do you mean i have a lot of design templates, layouts, mockups, logos, and graphics that i've done when i was bored all because i hyperfixated on my ocs? what do you mean i have what might be enough to constitute a proper portfolio--