My personal experience was from a mental block. I imagine it’s different for everyone, but in case my perspective can help:

Im cis female but growing up, i was negatively impacted by how media portrayed women. Like everyone, i grew to hate pink and all feminine. I like action and heroism. I watched mecha and shounen shows, admired them guys. I related to them more. I hated shoujo and romance bc it was boring and weak, and i was taught by media that that’s what women are like and we are being made fun of it.

I only rpes guys for many years and though i dabbled in writing women, i struggled a lot. I once wrote a story as a kid with a leading female but she was kind of self-insertish. I couldnt write a woman that was just a person.

But a couple of years ago, i got into a song of ice and fire and catelyn and sansa’s povs in particular just opened my mental block on portraying and writing women. Catelyn represented a mother and sansa was your lady. But i liked them the way they are. I was intrigued by the way they were and wanted to know more. I empathized with them. It wasn’t that i didn’t think women could just be like a flawed person but just as it was media who harmed my young mentality back then, it was also someone’s portrayal that undid it.

And even since, i’ve just been happily writing so many women. And learning i an really into non gender-confirming and role reversal stuffs helped a lot too. It can be buried in our exp, as well as preference.

It’s fun learning about yourself!