“I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am full of tears and hunger and the fear of death, although I cannot weep, and I want nothing, and I cannot die. I am not like the others now, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but I do. I regret.”

- The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

"Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything, they must just look on for ever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it was. So the older ones have become glassy-eyed and seldom speak (winking is the star language), but the little ones still wonder."

- Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie

It’s wild how you can spend so long dreading something, letting it just become this anxious horrible thing in your mind, and the moment it’s over you feel so free. Like you can finally move on.

When you do your job right but it’s ruined cuz someone else did their job wrong. And yet you have to field the misstep. I scream into the void.

How the hell did I go so long without knowing Warrior Cats was a thing. I feel like I missed out on a crucial part of the early 2000s.

This is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a week, I feel it in my bones. Clinging to my muse for dear life.

Lmao the way I found out recently this is my label. I am still not sure how to take it.

Oh I really like this distinction! You're right, it does sound more inclusive to say 'yield' sign or 'road work ahead' sign, than a barrier which sounds exclusive. And it's always better to be inclusive, I think, when you're a public RP community.

When I did staffing, I always tried to remember that my community belonged to everyone in it, and that made it easier to interact with the people who tried my patience. Sometimes people are ESL, sometimes people are just confused by rules that don't make sense, and I realized for me doing what I could to clarify confusing things for people helped get rid of those headaches faster.

This doesn't only apply to basic etiquette and expectations, but even just in putting together basic RP events and mechanics, I think.

An example: The community I staffed for a few years had a custom crafting system that had very slow approvals, due to people regularly being unfamiliar with the rules that had changed over the years with mods. I took over this project and became extremely frustrated with how slow and tedious mod-approvals for members were, so I investigated how well this process was documented externally.

The answer? Not at all. We had a very sparse list of guidelines to follow on the member-side, but admin-side, the mods remembered all these very archaic rules that they assumed everyone else had remembered slowly amassing over time. I was baffled why anyone thought old members would remember any of this and magically teach the new members our expectations.

I decided to make a master page explaining the crafting process, step by step, and organized all the rules by category. It was tedious to do, but universally well-received and the complaints/delays we got lessened SO much. Having the resources there for people to educate themselves is such a helpful thing, honestly, across the board.

To kinda build off @marmie -- what makes it difficult to bring in new members?

I think there are two versions of this, right.

1) It takes a lot of time and effort to teach someone how to follow basic roleplay etiquette, and you aren't able to give the time or energy.

Or:

2) Your site handles a lot of dark/difficult/potentially triggering subject matter, and you require a high level of maturity from your members to do this effectively and safely.

When addressing #1, something I've seen that I like is having an 'on-boarding' sort of resources channel. Basically, making an on-boarding library.

There's plenty of stuff out there explaining roleplay basics and expectations, and it takes a load off your shoulders to just point to a link and say "If you're new to roleplay, read this, it'll explain a lot to you." Quick google search brought up this link, for example.

I think it's also useful to include resources that help with things like muse/navigating mental health in roleplay/etc., because that's just as important in getting your bearings in this creative and collaborative hobby. One resource my current community shared that I like is this one.

In the case of addressing #2, I think having a barrier to entry is wise. A blurb discussing your site culture (something that's been mentioned earlier) seems like a smart move here, and maybe indicating certain expectations to have in roleplaying in this forum. Something to the effect of, "If XYZ makes you uncomfortable, or if you cannot navigate XYZ boundaries safely and effectively, then our forum is most likely not the forum for you."

Just my two cents, curious if other people have other insights.

I don't have an answer, but I just want to say you're not the only one with this experience. <3 People-pleasing was the hardest part of staffing for me too, and in the end I realized I'm happier in a non-moderator role. Burning out on satisfying other people eventually just leaves you dissatisfied most of all.

That doesn't mean the things you've built weren't appreciated in the moment, though. It's painfully easy to remember all the times something didn't go your way, but I guarantee you there were moments your creativity made someone's day. For every person who leaves, there's someone who stayed and enjoyed themselves. I hope you let yourself dwell on those moments, too.

Shout-out to good managers. They make all the difference in a job, honestly.

Man, that last bit is so essential to remember. If you're not hurting anyone and it's giving you joy, who is anyone else to judge what makes you happy?

Life is way too short to live it for other people.

Fatigue is the worst. I feel like I get half the things done that I want to.