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the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
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CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
seeing classmates from grade school and high school post about giving birth at 23 is so wild. like damn, me and my rl friends are here playing video games and dnd and other ppl in our school have KIDS??



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the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
- how to have a god complex when you're also in a toxic relationship with your city-state
- all the cute things you can get away with as a cute forest lady in a city that Definitively Hates You
- girlypop sapphic knight of your dreams



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
ricochet Avatar
a modern-era site for greek gods? been playing a lot of hades and fields of asphodel and i have inspiration lol
hi. i love u. ever since i played stray gods ive been wanting to see a site with a similar concept



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
ninelie Avatar
CEL Avatar
true friendship is when they're more than willing to read your 20-paragraph long essay on a pretentious indie eastern european survival horror game from 2005 and then STILL ask questions about why you're absolutely obsessed with a single pretentious white man who can only ever take Ls in said game before proceeding to read your followup 20-paragraph long essay on said white man

this is easily the most ominous thing i have ever said to anyone



The hostage is me, and the hostage-taker is hbomberguy


hbomberguy's video has done irreparable things to my psyche since 2019, you absolutely get it



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
true friendship is when they're more than willing to read your 20-paragraph long essay on a pretentious indie eastern european survival horror game from 2005 and then STILL ask questions about why you're absolutely obsessed with a single pretentious white man who can only ever take Ls in said game before proceeding to read your followup 20-paragraph long essay on said white man

this is easily the most ominous thing i have ever said to anyone



last edit on Jan 11, 2024 9:16:06 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
rav⭑ Avatar
CEL Avatar
burakhovsky missing hours
it's ALWAYS burakhvosky missing hours. i miss the sand pest coming for my ass, and the doctors dancing around each other. take me back to the town-on-gorkhon
YOU UNDERSTAND. I MISS MY FUN STEPPE VACATION AND TORMENTOUS NIGHTMARE SO MUCH

there is absolutely nothing heterosexual about telling another man that you are not a person of mystical inclinations. yet when you look at him you get the feeling nature is playing jokes on you both. that its as if the left hand and the right hand have clutched the head to realize for the first time that they are two parts of a single whole. in this essay—
last edit on Jan 9, 2024 6:28:09 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
havent been writing in a hot sec until today, and i liked this one. short, simple, says enough


"They all live in me, and I keep living because the rest of me and my histories wants to do the living. Raise my cup and dance. This world's shit, but it's got good music."

last edit on Jan 4, 2024 19:14:04 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
had one of those semi-existentialist serious "what is the meaning of life when you're in your early 20s and are still figuring shit out" talks with an rl friend earlier today, and not to sound like a cliché tumblr post, but i do love the philosophy that "the meaning of life in your early 20s is to just exist and be with the people you love and people who love you and talk, and do, dumb shit with love".

like legit this whole day was 90% talking with different co-workers and friends about weird, mundane, or simple things — i got the deeplore of dragons dogma 2 gameplay and how its frames were tweaked differently to improve it from its predecessor from my usually stoic dm, for one example. i have no strong feelings about dragons dogma in itself— but like, damn. that philosophy rlly just hit hella hard today. it's dope as hell.

now also realizing i feel like the equivalent of the webtoon misunderstood stoic bad boy who smiles softly upon seeing the protagonist do something mundane while they're looking away. maybe i was the bad boy picking up stray cats all along, dang.
last edit on Jan 4, 2024 13:28:34 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
finished Before We Disappear by Shaun David Hutchinson and tbh, while i'm pretty indifferent to the main romance (mainly i've found i'm not rlly invested in cute romances btwn an all good character undergoing a lot of trauma & the character who saves him from his environment while they happen to be perfect for each other), this passage was such a banger 

And if you’re right, and our ship is doomed to go down, then we’ll sink together and I’ll play us a lullaby on the ocean floor.


the next time i write a tragic ship, i want to write a line with this energy.

also started What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo, just past the prologue, and i can tell this is gonna be a heavy book but if my experience with it is anything like with Channel Miller's Know My Name, let's go. rlly liking how she writes, like w this passage

To revisit my story, one that has until now relied on lies of omission, perfectionism, and false happy endings. I need to stop being an unreliable narrator. I need to look at myself, my behaviors, and my desires with an unflinching, meticulous eye. I need to tease apart the careful life I have crafted for myself, the one that is threatening to unravel at any minute.


update 15 hours later: finished What My Bones Know, got an existential crisis and processed a lot of personal stuff LMAO, but i did head off to now start When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo. i used the previous novella in this series for a stellar paper on how history archives poc women two years back and enjoyed both that novella and paper a hell of a lot, so it's high time i started the sequel

edit several hours later: the singing hills cycle is such a good series. if anyone told me id be invested in the sapphic coded courtship between a tiger and a scholar in a viet-coded fantasy, i wouldn't believe you. but this passage is such a good one and nghi vo is an incredible writer, man

Let me stay and be for you,” said the tiger, and she rose and drove away the ghosts of the Cheng mansion.
last edit on Jan 4, 2024 0:41:31 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
i can't wait to set something on fire in the city as per my legal contract with you <3



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
steam users born in jan Avatar
Ya all im doing my best to calm down im feeling so emotional rn my heart hurts but im also full of thoughts on why i love wallace so much, my weird autistic obsession aside-

He has his own style and flair and he lives by it. He puts himself out there without fear and with full confidence of his art. I do love that he has this balance of calm and explosive energy. Not everyone can vibe with his energy and that’s one of the things i love abt him! Just not being afraid of being himself

But most importantly his love for his art isnt simply for vanity. Like lisia, these two sootopolitans are there to make others happy. They want to support people and create smiles. I’m so grossly emotional and touched by these fictional characters. Did i think it would be like this twenty years ago when i played pokemo ln sapphire and went he looks p handsome and i like his cape - of course not!! But whoever redesigned wallace and developed his character further - i love you you’re pne of the reasons why i would die happy not even fking kidding in one bit
hi i admittedly don't go here (pokemon) but can i just say this post reminds me of those tumblr text posts all about expressing love over a seemingly small thing, and im rlly happy for you that he got his redesign and character fleshed out, and that you have all this loud and proud adoration for him. it's nice as hell to see and straight up made me look him up and read through his whole ass wiki page LOL
last edit on Jan 1, 2024 8:22:45 GMT by CEL



coming soon.
the narrative
aliasCel, Nightlock
pronounsShe/They
820written posts
CELearned bits
offlinecurrently
CEL
Part of the Furniture
CEL Avatar
i don't get angry when i'm pissed; i'm the eternal optimist.
when i first read this scene in the book i didn’t rlly care much for it, but how the adaptation did it straight up made it my second favorite scene in the whole movie (top one being the one involving the flag. god that was a good one.) and favorite overall song from the films




i rlly want a studio version, man.



coming soon.