interview went well yesterday.
woke up this morning with a low fever and a horrible cough that won't go away

interview i think went well but i won't get my hopes up because the last time i got my hopes up i got a denial that made me quit looking for awhile.

on the plus side, i'm thinking about getting the outer wilds because i'm craving an exploration game and it's hit all the marks in my own book.
i was gonna get dredge but then saw it had a mini-game that i can't play because of my #debuff (colorblindness) and got a lil sad.

2024 will hopefully be starting off with a new job that actually gives me a living wage and doesn't have me working like.... one day a week for only a couple hours.

interview on tuesday, so here's hoping!

kinda still wild to me that i'm not working consistently

but also like... i see so many places hiring, but they won't reach back out to me.
i really cannot fathom it.

anyways, spending all my points for a:
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thank you!

i am so incredibly exhausted all the time.
no amount of sleep seems to help, and whenever i get insurance again i might see if there's something.... more wrong.

one. i made a terrifying choice of leaving a job i had for 10 years, and while it was bad for a time, i think it made me feel a lot better about myself! gave time for self-reflection and the life.
two. made lots of progress and confidence building with my dog! he's a shy little boy, but he's come such a long way and i've never been more proud of him.
three. found something i genuinely enjoy doing. silly to think about that i've been playing ffxiv for a few years, but just now figured out that i'll never be a raider, but enjoy the exploration aspects of the game!
four. kept my room cleaner. yeah, silly thing. but, depression messes happen and i'm getting better with keeping up on it!
five. become more forgiving to myself. i am my own worst critic and often will beat myself up over the little things.

Jan 22, 2022 14:40:08 GMT CEL said:

pathologic. it's insane how many times i keep coming back to it like every 2 years

i relate to this so much.....

also dishonored......

...... i love me some games with a plague theme

ffxiv has taken up more time than i'm ever willing to admit.
but not for the combat, or glam, or..... anything else.
no, it's for the gathering.

....... we're not talking about how much i've gathered over the last week alone.

about to put in a two-weeks notice for a toxic, mentally and physically draining work environment in favor of two other jobs that already feel more natural and relaxing than the one i've worked in for eight years.

will it screw over the management for the current store? yes.
do i feel bad about it? a tiny bit.
but after being treated like i could be replaced (when i know that's not easily possible), for years, and a few mental breakdowns over the last few months, has opened my eyes that this is not a healthy working environment.

remember folks, you are worth more than a dollar sign. worth more than being a mindless worker. you don't have to remain in a toxic work environment, even if you feel trapped.

page 1000? in 2021?? more likely than you'd think

chopped off all my hair yesterday, fully came out to my dad, and made a public announcement about my gender identity that went better than i'd ever expect. 2021 might still be shit like 2020 was, but i'm looking forwards to what the future brings.

sometimes you just just gotta....
y'know