The struggle between "Wanting to Write" & "Wanting a Community", while also taking the time and effort to go into it only for it to seem to crawl and never full realized even yet. Sure, easily solved by finding a place for both but seems like as I grow I am more and more picky on content and what surrounds it.

This is very common, or to rephrase - I feel this way a lot. I think it stems from the time, effort and thought you put into a site and the work that if it can't be enjoyed then it can cause spikes in anxiety about how you possibly did all that work for nothing. It takes a lot of work to emotionally detach it sometimes, yet at the same time, roleplay is a community. If my contributions and efforts in my friend group, my D&D group, my former sports team back in highschool, ANYTHING was not enjoyed or I somehow upset or made someone not like something, I would take it personally too, and Roleplay communities can and are real, breathing parts of one life - ESPECIALLY as staff. So it's a bit ok to feel that, but it shouldn't ruin days or influence life. It's like a job, the best thing to learn, which I still try to learn, is the balance of when to step away a bit and take a breath.

I feel I have progressed a lot from my early roleplay days to do what others have said and more focused on making a site that I would like to write on and know I am making a site because I never found a site in the fandom that fit my visions and that had helped a lot. Just to add onto the other conversations above. We staff because we want to provide a service and place to a community, but there are other communities. If you don't like Walmart then go to Target, if you don't like my rules, or how the site runs there are others and you can make your own. Sadly, you can not and will not please everyone but that doesn't mean we can't try without sacrificing our vision and goals for a site!