i remember reading something once about how the way the rings worked, the more powerful you were in the scheme of the world, the more likely you were to fall victim to the ~dark side~ of the ring - this was why, actually, gollum was able to hold onto the one ring for thousands of years without turning into a shade like the ringwraiths and why frollo + bilbo + sam could keep the one ring without going entirely off the deep end or basically hard summoning sauron to them, because hobbits were honestly pretty low on the totum pole of middle earth (it's also why gandalf was so adamant about refusing the one ring when frollo tried to make it his problem and why saruman went off the deep end with his elf ring, because wizards were more powerful and thus more easily corrupted, and even galadriel was starting to have issues with her ring because of this general rule as well). with this framework in mind, we go back to the eagles, who are... actually basically considered gods in middle earth. which meant that having them hang around the one ring for too long would have been basically boromir times a bajillion and infinitely not good for when they inevitably went off the deep end with the ring (and i think moria had the dwarven rings somewhere in it so same problem there).

or y'know. we go back to the ooc reason that the lord of the rings universe was basically meant to be an ongoing bedtime story for tolkein's son, which means having the eagles fly the group to mordor would have defeated much of the point of the rest of the story, and if i remember correctly too, the eagles weren't actually in the hobbit, they were added to the movie to add runtime since they were meant to be two movies but at the last minute got pushed to three and that caused a lot of awkward rewrites as a result.

i'll definitely second what Sharp said for it might be a good idea to have some kind of options built into the site so that you can have some more static figures on the site than "anonymous" reviews but not full-on fleshed out mega active characters. (look, i'm just dumb, and i want options that will help enable me to be a cryptid who appears every now and again to cause shenanigans and then disappear again back into the ether until i decide to do it all over again.)

like that was why i suggested the static account for guests - not so much for reviews, more intended so there's an option for selkie to be able to go pull a fire alarm at 2am during a health inspection just to cause chaos and watch the results. (and possibly allow a bit of separation for like "these boards are guaranteed safe from shenanigans, these ones are not, have fun")

like i said, i'm just wanting to occasionally pop up and hold cooking competitions where one month first prize goes to a gorgeous five layer cake shaped like bulbasaur with made from scratch icing and the kind of prose inspired by the muses themselves and then the next month it goes to someone who served me a pizza that's been in and out of the oven 27 times and has a frowny face in burnt cheese from the 60 pounds of various cheeses someone put on it and whose presentation post is a rambling journey of delights that made me choke on my own spit from laughing so hard-

double post but wait no i take back my take back

all i want is to just. pop in idk once a month or once every other month to do a "cooking show" type challenge where my character throws down a general order for people to try to fill in whatever style they choose and i name.... honestly however many "winners" staff + i agree is fair for the number + quality of submissions. but the catch is........ you have an equal chance of winning whether you go about it the tryhard way making a delicious + innovative cake with a beautiful story about making it or the absolutely joke way of "this is my cake, it was meant to look like mario but it caught on fire in the oven so now it's bowser having a heart attack and his mane is made of broken glass and jalapenos"

that's it, that's all i want out of this-