this is exactly my problem. actually, for me it's sharing any of my writing period. it's weird because it wasn't so bad for me when i was younger. now i get so tired from the anxiety pre-posting that i just avoid doing any of it because i don't want to trouble other people with my behavior. really, the most frustrating thing about anxiety is how it makes you zoom into the minutiae of life and all the tiny things become so exhausting.

i like yuan 's suggestion because that's worked for my anxiety in other areas of life. but it's a slow process and sometimes i backslide into losing my courage again :')

Not diagnosed or anything, but I suffer this occasionally... from any sort of reply, not just in posting--- I've run away from email and Discord replies before.

I've taken to pulling the band-aid off so to speak, and checking people's replies even if I'm scared of doing so, but once in a while it still gets the better of me.

It is fairly proven in my experience that the reply wouldn't be as bad as you think it is, but anxiety is generally irrational.

Here, have my word slop personal anecdotes, not sure how much it will help but --

Anxiety and excitement/other more positively regarded emotions tend to go hand in hand and it’s... if I care about something, there is a higher chance I will be anxious about it? I often take a “do it scared” approach, or at least I try to. While I experience a disordered amount of anxiety, it also helps for me to remember that anxiety alone is an emotion that everyone feels

Sharing creative work with others feels vulnerable in a few senses and it’s easy to flinch myself away from sharing my art or writing — and with RP, both combine — and sequester all my work away so that none can judge it in any way...and none else can like it, or give feedback that I want and need. This gets worsened by bad experiences to reference anxieties from but it helps for me to recall all of the positive things, such as compliments, or the ways I’ve improved thanks to being brave enough to share.

As a matter of fact! I still struggle in showing other people my art or writing, but I have been getting better at it over time.

I think about how much reading others’ writing and writing with them has given me joy, and try not to convince myself that I’m incapable of being someone people enjoy playing with too. I make it clear I appreciate direct and clear communication — when it comes down to social interaction, I dislike being forced to read between the lines since I’m often wrong or just bad at it — because that is what I like to give others too.

...and another thing I do is that I read replies almost exclusively on mobile, which helps for some reason? I don’t know how, or how, but it’s just much easier for me to read RP replies on mobile and I find myself avoiding it less that way? Change the environment, change the way I feel, maybe? I can't, for the life of me, write on mobile, I don't possess that kind of eldritch power, but it's easier for me to read them this way.

It’s been all about trying to adjust my mentality over time, to moderate amounts of success, but being gentle with myself too.

Try to take the pressure off of yourself a bit. In character consequences are huge opportunities for growth. Out of character consequences are essentially just learning whether or not you've found a compatible writing friendo. It isn't a poor reflection on you if you and another person don't gel well.

no, i get anxiety for others having to read my shit lel.

I remind myself every single person doing roleplay wants to have fun.

Look. We aren't here to win prizes or awards, we aren't here to be Very Important Writers, we are here to write our little characters doing stories we are jazzed about, and we decided to write with other people on purpose. We could be fanfic writers! Or write fiction novels! Instead, we choose to do a collaborative hobby because we enjoy thriving off other people's creativity.

If you like what you're doing, you'll find people who like the same things. Not everyone will like what you like, and that's okay! But your people will be excited about the stories you're telling.

What's the worst thing that happens if someone doesn't like your post? A stranger on the internet prefers stories you don't. That's it. I find it helps to remind myself how small the stakes are in roleplay, and it takes the edge off.

I am also sometimes anxious reading replies from others that pertain to my posts, or to the reception of my writing. And I'm not sure as to why, considering I've been part of this hobby since I was 15yo. I have this rule of thumb that I won't read tags until I am ready to reply, which I find sometimes helps mitigate the anxiety; or if I read a tag, regardless if I am willing to write or not, I must reply within the day while my reaction is fresh, lest I become dissonant. That is something I've been working on this past year, and I think I've been successful with for the past several months. Now if I can write 5+ RF posts within several hours... that would truly be something.

Also can sometimes be anxious about sharing my thoughts or reactions to my thread/rp partners, which is paradoxical of me because I am social in servers (at least I hope I am to others) but also shy :flushedhide_emoji:

sometimes my anxiety comes from watching people volley on one thread or one character for a bit while i wait on replies to me - it's ridiculous, because i know i'm guilty of doing the same thing, and i have to remind myself that people's muse comes and goes, and diff threads stoke different bits of serotonin! it's not necessarily anything to do with me or my replies.

that being said, i'll still look at posts and be like "omfg what the hell is that" and wonder if people's reading comprehension is okay if they tell me they like it lmao. but truly we're all here to have fun and at the same time, people click as writing partners and sometimes they don't, but we're all just here to have fun and there's really not as much pressure as we put on ourselves.