ok but how is this going to happen when i don't even know what these plans are, SPILL

Came back here as I have stewed more about roleplaying since working on my site. And I think I’ve decided: this place would be my last hurrah in rping. If it doesn’t work out, I will quit roleplaying forever and I will probably get rid of my discord account (which mostly has rp friends) all together.

While I did stop rping a while back, that was just to focus on my fic. I got burned out and stumbled my way back in bc a friend showed me a skin and I decided to check sites out for design inspo. I was really fired up going back into rping. Although it ended abruptly in a very nonsensical way, I was still eager to do more.

Working more on lore and exploring my ideas made me realize I have a lot that rping may simply not be able to cater with. Or rather, it takes more effort than just working on it as a fic for myself. It’s still not going to be easy, as the reason I got burned out was the feeling that no one was reading my work. I felt very bummed that no one was enjoying what was bringing me joy.

So I don’t know exactly what I would be up to if it comes to that. I know I will definitely still be writing stories. Maybe I will finally finish an original one. Regardless that would be my direction. I’ll be going to where I feel I can unleash my completed ideas out.

If this account is unalived, then you’ll know which one happened!!

Make and keep a roleplay tracker for the websites I’m in.  I have limited time than I did as a kid.
Focus on coding my first skin for my rp website.
Write better than I did in 2023.
Draw more scenes than just character designs.
Sell some Jcink rp post templates, cause I don’t trust me coding full on skins.
Get further in The Odin Project.
Get better at story and world building by writing with my collab partner and friend.

found it hard to fill up 5 instances of good vibes so I'll just try to make a game plan going forward.

1. find the foolproof method to plot meaningful stories that both writers can love -- equally. passive plotters burn me out the most so... plan rn is to stop hoping for much if they don't even try to lead the plotting/offer ideas ig...

2. be an overall better person by next year. mentally, communicatively, in terms of positive vibes, etc. be back to how I was before I came back from my rp hiatus -- someone eager to make new friends, learn more about people, if only a bit naively. though I think that's kinda hard now

3. code a skin, code two skins, code three. stop being so lazy and try to spin it as :sparkles: minimalist :sparkles: whether or not I release it doesn't matter. I like to do it, and it's honestly the only thing that's making me still want to stay (aside from super good plots and ships but that's always uncertain)

4. find my place in this whole mess. I've been through three friends groups that ended in gaslighting, ultimatums, and more ultimatums in that order, in a row, so idk what does that tell me. really don't want to get cornered in some gc again lmao

5. stand up for myself? stop trying to keep the peace at the expense of myself. this is still an rp goal because... er. only online people ever treat me this way. irl I have my rbf to protect me hehe (until people get to know me then they bully me affectionately, but never crossing the line ha). additionally, stand up for myself without exploding because of accumulated stress/nerves/fear. TIL emotional delay is a thing and that CALM is a big fat lie

6. .... have fun, preferably with people :pained: I alr know how to enjoy my time alone, but this is a community-based hobby so... here's to hoping.

7. SEVEN LUCKY NUMBER SO HAVE FUN NUMBER TWOOOOO

Honestly, my number one resolution is to be more conscientious of how my statements affect the other members of the communities I'm in. I've been informed (by multiple reliable sources who will go unnamed) that my behavior can come off as insensitive at times, and I've been making a conscious effort to be kinder and more empathetic towards my fellow members. Ultimately, I don't want to be a belligerent asshole or a creep, and I want to do right by other people.