since I caused a whole conversation - I am very much a either or and match my rp partner in how I plan. Usually I just need to know how they ended up in the same thread and a vague handwavey idea on where it might go. So like, I need to know they're going to have more than five posts in a thread. Despite me plotting and preferring it - I meet whoever with whatever. The point that Traveller put better than me - was when these decisions are used to shirk responsibility, agreement, and communication. You don't have to change a character's personality to get them to be friends, you do not have to have some grand narrative you need to plan to the iota - however - and this was my main thing, respect the person on the other side of the screen. Do not waste their time as you wouldn't want your time wasted. Don't shirk responsibility and agreements because certain things may be more your character's speed. If you agree to something, if something should change when it was agreed upon, tell the person that because that way that other person can consent if it's something drastically different.

When you end up saying a character is the one in charge (I do mean this literally, not figuratively like oh they want to go this way) then agreements for like want ads and decisions comes across as flaky and sometimes that makes people go "well who did I have an agreement with" and it blurs lines that need to be kept separate. We have had an ethos in the community of in character doesn't apply out of character. This is not something new - I am speaking of the same line and boundary. Respect someone's time and feelings so yours will be respected, that's all I meant by my previous posts. Do not have an out of character agreement, understanding, etc - and then say that a character, something that is not living and doesn't have any say outside the game, is deciding for you.

This has nothing to do with IC decisions or the game itself. It is purely outside of it, which is where I was quoting.

Also I have no muse, I just write - to the new conversation. I am very much in the idea of doing it to calm down my mind and I have no issue jumping from character to character.

That's great between you and your friend, but again, this is a general. If someone takes a wanted ad from me as a dad, the express "okay we're going to do this" is an agreement. That's great to have such flexibility between you and your friends, but a stranger is going to have no idea that it was a flexible thing. A character has no agency outside of character, you do. If you enter in a agreement and it's not communicated or respected that other people might not work like you, the consent to the agreement is blurred. That's why if you're going to enter into a express agreement, a contract, one should respect the other's time. It's great you and your friend can mix and match but most of us are strangers on the internet. A character has no agency outside of the board, full stop. There is in character and out of character. You hardly ever fully commit, but other people do. Shirking an agreement that either one or both parties worked with and had the idea that it was at least a agreement - because some imaginary thing is a violation of consent and respect.

You and what your friend do doesn't mean other people will have that understanding that is what you do. Hence communication on that aspect and to communicate with a partner (not a character) to always making sure we're all on the same page is an absolute must.

I think a better solution to the above is clear communication as Feral is mentioning. There is a line of improvising in role-play since, similar to people, characters are complicated. They have layers and I am not sure about anyone else, but those layers are where the intrigue is for me. As long as someone communicates to me something may need changing because X character's feelings, motives, recent happenings, mood, etc, then yeah, change the plot.

Call me old-fashioned if you want, but characters do have opinions, thoughts, moods, motives, feelings, happenings, etc and that is apart of what gives role-play an intriguing complexity. There is a lack of a script because sometimes I can sit there and tell someone "You know... I don't know how Y character will respond, so we can see what happens." It is part of the fun and is why I try to be upfront to begin with the fact I will not be forcing my characters to do anything. As I have said before, I will flex a situation, not a character. If I can make you a situation to give you what you like, sure. If I can't, I will communicate that to you.

So to put it simply, I view my characters as people. They are not tools, playtoys, dress-up dolls, etc. They are people who I have created to write a story and at least to me as a writer, a forcing of character is not fun. It would, if anything for myself, beg the question of why bother with character variety if I'm going to just mould them to do whatever I or another person wants? Overall, that is how I see it. Thus, I think communicating or situation bending would be a good solution over character bending every time.

I am neurodivergent and have a problem with pragmatic language. I express myself as best I can. I treat roleplay as fun (as this is in character, escapism is in the game not outside of it) but I always make sure I communicate effectively outside of it and explain how things makes me uncomfortable or I try to question why something obviously went against my boundaries. I guess this might be a point of view, but if someone told me they view their characters as people so much so, that they are real people, I wouldn't rp with them. Characters, even if they have feelings, opinions, etc - are not real. They are not outside the board. The consent principle has been violated time and time again for me, and while it might not be for you, I believe responsible communication and tacit agreements are to be held above all else.

and while I don't treat this like a job, as those have quoted, I have firm boundaries of ic/ooc with the people I write with. If someone tells me our shared reality doesn't exist, then that's great, I'm just going to move along- however we should be up front about that, which is where I'm kinda getting at here. For me, characters have thoughts, opinions, etc, that I would not have. I however am not going to think they're real breathing humans with agency outside a forum. They can't do my taxes.

Just wanted to clarify how I treat characters as people. Even if they do not have agency outside of forum, to me, they have agency in any thread they are in. Therefore, if a character has a massive overarching goal for example, I probably won't turn around and say "No character, you cannot do that cause I or X wants Y." But as said, I am a bit biased since I find the improvising and surprises fun on all fronts. Even with wanted ads. I love when people come up to me and go "Hey... So based on this history point, I wanted to do a resentment thing, is that okay?" Love that, love when people surprise me cause for me I want to inspire someone to create a character from a wanted they would wish to play elsewhere. ^-^ It's beautiful to me in a way, hence my flexibility with things.