I should work on posts tonight even though I want to play video games instead.

Enemy plots are my bread and butter. I enjoy playing out rivalries and characters that straight up wish death on their foes lmao.

how i view flakes (ghosts) is that they are people who simply choose to fill their time with other things, may it be other hobbies or possibly, responsibilities. no shade, i was a flake in the animanga rpc (my allegiance to the rlrpc) up until a few, short years ago.

the con to all this is the unintended reputation being a (serial) flake brings, the optics of which frames one unreliable and cuts the pool of rp partners/plots down rather short.

to mitigate this is not necessarily how fast/slow a site may be, because a successful site hosts writers of any pace/patience (and can accommodate for all, which isn't actually easy, but i've seen it done mostly on sites with accessible lore, such as well-known fandoms/IPs, i.e HP), but finding fellow individuals who don't mind the flakiness, makes space for them.

Have you ever had a project you "will definitely get to" and then you never get to? Like the novel you're definitely going to write, the videogame or book you're definitely going to finish, that one project you keep promising you will get to eventually...?

That's roleplay for a lot of people who ghost. They have good intentions, just lose track of time but keep thinking they will get to the roleplay eventually. I think activity checks do a good job of pruning this in a fair, repeatable way that doesn't cause real hurt (as it isn't personal).

At some point it is also going to be a self-feeding cycle:

Join a site, be excited to write, make a character and everything.
Other people assume you're going to flake, so they don't want to write with you.
No one writes with you despite you checking in daily, so your excitement fades.
You eventually flake from the site.

If I get one week of fun posting with someone, I consider it worth even if we don't finish the storyline. Because having fun for that one week is still fun for a week.

In regards to ghosters and such—

I think it is good to always give a ghoster/flake a chance. Sometimes sites do not mesh, life gets in the way or even an individual’s mental health may result in them not being able to plot, post, etc. Thus, I always give them a chance, mostly cause I do not mind if things fall through. It sucks, but I can shrug it off. Not to mention, some people are just waiting for that site they can call home. It can be hard to find a community that feels like that. So I tend to shrug it off even if there is a history and hope for the best.

This is probably mostly because I already know my line in the sand. Personally, my biggest one is someone consistently dropping and making characters; especially if it is before we can ever finish a thread. I will always give a flake a chance, but when this happens it feels like I am throwing multiple threads or potential plot lines that will never be resolved since I cannot post fast enough.

Yeah, it's not like "write with everyone!" is a magic bullet solution that'll usher in an era of untold prosperity. But there are reasons people flake/ghost, and it's not always because they're wee cunts.

I have been on the side of "ghosting" a site. I'll join a site, write a character, invite people to plot with me, get three or four people to write with, and at some point coincidentally all of them get busy/in a rut and cannot reliably post anymore.

I don't want to take on more threads and wind up in a situation where I'm overwhelmed, because those threads haven't "ended". I also don't really feel like waiting two, three months for my writing partners to return. In those cases, I just quietly dip because I don't want to cause unnecessary drama either by calling them out for posting elsewhere, or by moving on with other threads and getting all those nasty "Traveller isn't interested in our thread anymore!" accusations behind closed doors.

yyyeahhh, imo ghosting is also a symptom of cliques forming in roleplay groups. nothing makes it harder to join or write on a site than a group of people who are exclusive and don't include others. and it always happens, i don't think there's a single site that doesn't have those kinds of people, but some are certainly worse offenders than others.

in those situations, when you're trying your best to be involved and are constantly being thwarted, what choice do you have other than to ghost?

I rarely flake out on sites - I mostly am there till the doors close even if i take small dips due to hospitalization. However I do understand this feeling. While I understand that everyone sometimes has their reasons for dipping - I find that that isn't the reputation that likely follows you. As someone who gets a whole lotta information like some librarian I can assure you it's not. For every 'this person flaked' - I get more of 'this person was mean' 'this person said something that was -ist/-phobic', 'this person used vent channels incorrectly and chose to overshare'.

While this doesn't help what you quoted talk behind close doors - it's something I've experienced a lot of. It's fair to dip quietly or even ask for those threads to be retired/retconned. It's fair to dm them and ask. It's all okay to show our hand a little. I can't say what I would do. I don't know if I would flake or not, newbie or not. I suppose if my characters weren't 8 years old and they aren't going anywhere then it might be different. I don't hold it against anyone flaking due to things. I do think that in this hobby of writing communication we need to be a bit more communicative but also a little bit more honest with ourselves - like the person I quoted (you're very good at wording things friend)

Sometimes you don't wanna wait two weeks for a reply. If you don't want to end those threads and no one's given you the time of day, I get leaving. For me? But also constantly blaming the 'community' for issues you face a lot of the time might not just be them, it might be you. By that I mean, are you being friendly, are your threads having enough to respond to? Are you an uppity and self-absorbed jerk? Like I actually know several names in the community that are known as horrid people. Some people hate me for unknown reasons that they've held grudges for years like purposely telling people never to offer my site or go to any of the sites I ran. That's the kind of things people remember about you - more so than if you flaked - at least imo.

I personally don’t really have a problem with serial ghosters aside from the fact of crowded discords make me feel weirdly claustrophobic as I stated before.

Being as I haven’t “actively” posted more than one post a week tops for a few months or more due to stress and irl buildup - I don’t care about quickness really either because I have no ground to stand on and the content matters more than getting a reply immediately.

There’s only one or two instances where what I’m mad about is actually the inactivity is when I’m hyped up for a longer stretch of time, get overly invested and then bam! They just leave without warning or drop the character I was mid-thread with to just make another one. Like…the mixed signals of you gushing yesterday and the next you’re suddenly disinterested. Like were we not just literally sending character memes back and forth? What happened?

On Cliques;
Well, like anything social, it’s gonna happen and I’ve just accepted that. It’s part of human nature. If you have friends you’ve known and rp’d with longer you’re going to have more threads/plots/ships/whatever with them. Viewing the lens from both angles as I’ve been both inside and outside the cliques of various sites, I don’t think there is a clear cut fix to this, as telling people not to do more with the friends they are more comfortable with and probably trust more not to vanish, it probably just won’t work.

But for the benefit of the doubt, I’m easily discouraged when faced with strangers so when I decide to give up - I mainly decide it’s my fault because I lack the confidence to do more than ask things or offer things in a plotting channel. If nobody bites, nobody bites. I don’t go around blaming the people actively posting/plotting together because I assume they know each other or one actually has the confidence to actively pursue things or dm people.

On the other hand - on a now defunct site I had a roster of characters and threaded with anyone who asked, but a majority of plots were between me and three to four friends. An outsider came in, and we threaded and plotted and the works - but then they got mad when a character of mine they didn’t even interact with was already shipped to someone, claimed we were a clique and all that, threw a fit and left.

So I think that while not always, sometimes blaming the clique is a bit overdone and occasionally just used when the person doesn’t get what they want.

It's important to remember that in a world where there are a lot of variables and circumstances change constantly, the one constant in your life is you. Like when a League of Legends streamer complains they're always getting terrible teammates and having a 20% winrate because of it...you know, three guesses as to who is present in 100% of their games...

Like, for example, I am fully aware my issue is my overly serious demeanour. Having the charisma of an expired tomato doesn't help, but I know I'm rather outspoken and quick to lecture, so I can't imagine many are bursting with excitement to write with me, and I'm fine with that because that's who I am. It just makes me treasure those who do get on with me more, because I know it takes a certain type.

This kind of comes across as a false dilemma. There's lots of things you could do if you feel you are "constantly being thwarted" from succeeding. "Ghosting" or quietly quitting or however you want to call it is one option, but it's not the only one.

I firmly believe a majority of roleplayers do not intentionally and consciously exclude people. They may do so unintentionally (i.e. "Oh, so-and-so joined, but I'm at roleplay capacity so someone else can plot with her.") or subconsciously, where they already have so much fun with their friends it doesn't even register you're waving through the window. So at times, you want to grab a nice, shiny rock and hurl it through the window.

It's just whether you want the drama of pointing out you have two open threads and a plotter, and it's been three weeks, what gives?

i wouldn't say it's a false dilemma, though i wonder if maybe my word choice was poor because i'm not trying to speak in the absolutes of ghosting is the only other option to staying. i'm saying that it's one of the many potential reasons why people do ghost.

it's not a case of me being like "stop writing with your friends, stop having fun with people you know, you're ruining the community", etc. cliques happen, that's a fact (i'm sure i've found myself unintentionally becoming a part of ooc groups)! but personally speaking, it's one of the reasons i try to reach out to people who, for example, have plotters that haven't been replied to. we all have the ability to be a little more conscious, to maybe change our habits and behaviours, for the sake of a healthier community.