Agreed, as I've run into this a lot. As an admin I understand how hard it is to admin. To feel a bit sore when someone phrases something bad when they come to you etc - so I have a lot of empathy for other admins and members. However, I feel that the second is something I get a lot. I understand admins and members have to work towards being better (though I think it's up to the person, not so the community as a whole) - but the amount of times I have felt ignored by an admin or even told that I'm overreacting is way too much. It's hard to take the hit on the chin but you can always try to make the difference yourself. I block and move on than try to fight a losing fight and there's nothing wrong with that.

edit for clarification: I think that the only time communication besides the two above is pointless is when people make you highly uncomfortable and make prejudiced and even negative statements towards certain things you cannot change. I had a few instances for that and I *cannot* nor *do not have time* for that.

I get the point as I’ve been in the shoes of being the one ignored or shunned.

But if you want the chance of the problem to be fixed you have to speak up anyways. As an anxious person, again, I get it.

But if I decide to leave because I don’t have the ability to muster up the courage to communicate how I feel that’s my problem, not the admins, not the other members, it is mine. We shouldn’t normalize ourselves always being the victim just because we have anxiety. It’s something we live with, not something to toss out as an excuse.

If you decide to leave without taking the risk of communication - then I also don’t think we should point fingers at people and label them bad.

Exception being of course blatant abuse and active bullying, things like that.

But as said earlier in the thread - sometimes people actually aren’t aware of how they sound or how their actions affect others. Not to mention someone’s natural diction may be shorter and more blunt than others as an example, leading to the possibility someone not familiar may mistake them as being angry or aggressive.

So yes it is a gamble if they will actually listen or not.

But if you don’t try you won’t know.

not sure if it's a crazy revelation or just mindless drabble seeping out my fingers but...

i think a lot of the issues we face in roleplay at this point in time boils down to an overall lack of respect. something i am guilty of, too. ( big props and eternal apologies to all the people i've given a hard time. )

just thinking about how staff are expected to fill all these roles. it reminds me of how people describe corporate jobs. you have a limited hour work week but are expected to be on the company's beck-and-call 24/7. they continue to pile work on you that is impossible to complete within the allocated time. something falling apart becomes inevitable. the difference is, they're getting paid and these staff are not.

even on the member side, people can get real entitled over how the site their own should be run. how problems should be dealt with. some will feel the need to manifest entire witch hunts just to prove their point. the idea of good communication becomes a meme because we forget how to treat each other. it's a virtual space so, it's like, who is caring if someone hurts your feelings and makes you cry? no one. we can't see it, thus it makes empathy a lot harder to harness. making it easier to throw down instead of lift up.

i realize a lot of this shines light on negative aspects. and i might be speaking whack-o mode right now. i'm a pessimist at heart so pointing fingers at negatives i see comes easier for me. regardless, i do know there are a lot of positives that have the power to truly outweigh all the negatives.

on a more positive note, roleplaying with ai is so healthy for my literary self confidence. i can write without fear of not giving enough or being good enough. cus it's a robot... :tears:

I've found a "character introduction" channel in Discord has helped tremendously in plotting and engaging with new members.

It essentially acts a TL;DR and in a day-and-age where getting information the fastest way possible is preferred, it can break that initial barrier.

I mean sure, people can not care all they want if you communicate. They can belittle or bully you or chase you out. I’ve been cyber-stalked for years by someone who bullied friends and said awful things to me. I’m pretty sure that is worse than an admin ignoring me, yet I don’t throw that out as an excuse to be paranoid. That person did hurt my feelings enough where I could use it as an excuse to automatically assume the worst in everyone around me. But I got tired of thinking that way because all it did was make me doubt everyone around me and if their intentions were true or not. If I can get past that, I can, again, get over some stranger leaving me on read and then decide where I want to go from there and whether it’s a site deal-breaker or not.

But I’m also not really budging on my stance of people who don’t even try to say something do not have any “high ground” to stand on. It’s a “one bad apple ruins the bunch” scenario. Not all dogs will bite you, just because a specific one did. Not all people will hurt you, because one did.

Now if you try to communicate and they DO prove to be a dick, then by all means block and leave. But don’t go around assuming someone is or spreading that they are.

Coming from a conflict avoidant person who is trying to get over feeling like I’m hated at the drop of the hat - the rp community needs less coddling and communication shyness.

If you don’t want to communicate, in a social hobby - well then there’s something already fundamentally wrong. In fact this all feels kind of ironic because way earlier in the thread it was paraded around by how you’re supposed to have clear communication with your rp partners and how certain phrases and behaviours were excuses to not do that and to avoid any sort of responsibility. Yet here the mere possibility of someone being mean is enough to do the same thing.

well have i got a site for you - /shot

unrelated to all of this, revamping claims stuff always makes me feel good and so productive like yayyyy

we have people who haven't played since before SM so you'll be fine! but sadly i cannot fix the silver problem i cry i cry but you know where we are if you change your mind ;D

by god i felt this in my soul.

I missed the days where I could sit there and get like 20 posts done within a day. I barely can put out 4 posts these days.

Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever really played a male character. I gotta fix that-