- woman who performed surgery on a grape
- woman who is a grape
- congratulations on the top surgery, frederic chopin
- real housewives lorekeeper

Honestly, I've been thinking about this a lot while I've been looking around for a forum to set up shop on... I think I do enjoy making new characters tailored to a story's setting, but I do have a couple OCs in my pocket that I like to use first, to help me get my footing; I often replay/re-app a particularly neurotic one whose nonsense makes for good thread starters and tends to shepherd along plotlines, to help me feel like I've got a foot in the door re: getting to know everyone else's characters.

I think there are some characters I'd like to play again sometime, but they're so setting-specific that it really depends on the site and the plot to fit them in... I have one whose character imagery (caspian tiger!) revolves really heavily around her relationship with Persian culture & being a member of the diaspora, and I'd feel like playing her in a world involving fantasy nations/countries wouldn't be honoring that part of her character and identity— and, similarly, some more fantastical characters that I couldn't really bring to a SOL small-town-in-the-midwest-us type of setting (unfortunately, I can't really drop harengons in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin). But sometimes, when the shoe fits perfectly, I'm delighted. It's like a little treat...!

(Can you tell I was thinking a little too hard about portrait of a woman on fire while writing this)

Hehe... medical eyepatch means that I'm a pirate...

Just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time yesterday... I still feel like laying down on the floor and staring into space for a long time. That hits hard. I think the importance of memory is aaaaalways gonna get me.

Oh! This is also re: the what's on your mind thread (sorry it's a little unrelated) (truly am just bouncing between one thread and the other), but there's something I've seen on RL sites before, where admins/staff members set certain 'admin/office hours'; usually I think around one to two hrs or so a few days a week/sometimes on the weekend, after the work day? Where moderation requests, admin tickets, profile approvals, etc, are all handled, so it's not seeping into too much of their free time, and I've definitely been keeping that tabbed in my notes as something that might help me stave off burnout.

Obviously, depending on the level of work or the size of the site, it might not be entirely feasible, but it's a really interesting concept, and it's something I was definitely looking at like 'if I have a specific time I can turn the Admin Hat on, it might help me take it off so I can enjoy what I'm working on, too'. The last place I heavily moderated for was chatbox-based w/ a younger/less mature ('please dear god stop spamming someone else's ip address in the cbox') memberbase, and I felt like I had to be available 24/7 to look out for bad actors... but I do think forum rp being a bit slower lends itself a little well to being able to resist the urge to be available at all times.

Now you're making me hungry... you definitely should, though! I was in Japan a couple years ago, and the food I had in Kyoto was some of the best I had over my entire trip.

Honestly, yeah, I figured a lot of people really enjoyed being the lorekeeper & worldbuilding/lorecrafting first! I have work experience in administration outside of rp (love sorting files into their own place, very relaxing, very therapeutic) but it’s nice to find that a bunch of other people enjoy it, too! Sorting… I feel like a kid sticking a squarw peg into a square hole

That being said, I do think it’s easier to find bots and automate systems that can replace that sort of thing nowadays. There was an IRL site I took a look at for a little bit that was incredibly automated in this regard; automated face claims, reserves, and extensions, automated sorting, bots that would collect profiles ready for approval and then automatically introduce them once they were given the go by admins; it was super cool, but definitely not the style of bot work I could probably keep up with!

I definitely agree about staffing anxiety! I'm preparing to run something small over Discord for a few friends of mine who aren't in the forum RP circle to warm myself up, and it's already starting to get a little nervewracking, but I think it's important to understand that it's probably not an uncommon problem. (Former tanxiety haver to DRK player here!)

Throughout the entire process, people are going to get nervous; whether it's you, a staff member, a longtime player who's worried about their place in their community, or a new member who desperately wants to fit in.

I think I might be in the minority when saying that my favorite thing about staffing sites/roleplays has always been pretty mundane admin stuff... conducting sweeps, reviewing and sorting profiles, updating claims, etc. ; the idea of running a site story is what's been giving me the most worries! But I have a lot of trust in the people I'm running this little game for, and I think it's important to establish that with a future site memberbase, too. Even where I might miss something or fumble a step, I'd like to believe we all have someone in our corner.

...Hehe. Oh these are really cute

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bun `-----` `--`

edit: I have fucked up the bunny

I do think being online definitely contributes to this, too, though; I agree. I've witnessed similar issues in hobby circles (thought I think I've always been a little shyer... so the RPC is probably where I have the most experience of being caught in the middle. It's a lot harder to come to terms with your own words and actions than it is to look in at something)... in some ways, it's nice to be able to log off. It's nice to be able to think 'this environment I've built for myself isn't healthy. I'm going to try and move away to create something new*, so I can properly move on from the things people have said to hurt me, and reflect on the things I've said to other people on my own'. But it's so much easier to say something harsh, something cruel, something bitter from behind a screen, and behind closed doors. It's really easy, especially when someone's already done or said something to hurt your feelings, to pour fuel onto the fire. I would've felt insanely guilty even saying that to my cat, so why am I saying it about another human...?

I think the least we can do, when it comes to new members, even people we don't instantly mesh well with, is just to think about them as if they were you joining; help them catch up on what's going on, try to extend a hand to include them if there's a site plot or storyline in the works, maybe offer them a thread starter when their first character's finished, if you have the time on your plate. I do think, if you're joining a site, it's important to take the initiative to plot yourself, but an established community will almost always be a bit intimidating to someone without a 'guy on the inside'. Sometimes you have the chance to be That Guy. Be the guy!

Honestly, I miss plotters, too! I tried responding to a couple a long while ago, but it didn’t really work. It’s so much easier than jumping into someone else’s private messages, and it keeps plots public and easy for other people to build off of.

I like when plotting takes place on Discord, too, when it’s in channels accessible to new members who want to join/haven’t made a character yet, but I think initiatives that push people to take plotting and character discussion to private messages really have the potential to damage a public site. Not only is it hard to know who to reach out for to plot, and what sorts of relationships they’re looking for, it’s harder to gauge the current character relationships onsite re: something you’ve just jumped into. IMO, on Discord and on forums themselves, the more plotting/character development channels available to everyone, the better. It’s nice to learn about everyone’s characters when you’re new, and it gives you the chance to tell people about your own concept and let them come to you!

Selfishly, I think groups that drive people to take their plotting and chitchat somewhere more private have a tendency to encourage gossip, too. The more open a site is, on both staff’s part and the members’ part, the more people will feel comfortable talking things out instead of letting feelings fester. If I talk about something I’m frustrated with with one of my friends, and that becomes two, becomes three, becomes four, sometimes it’s not really a personal gripe, but something that just becomes mean. I’m really ashamed of some of the stuff I’ve said in the heat of the moment, because it’s something I so could’ve easily asked about three months earlier; a quick ‘hey, do you mind if we switch to this plot? I’m not super comfortable with the way things have gone’ could’ve solved so much, in such a happier and more enjoyable way. I think it’s so much easier to remember that what we say and do isn’t in a bubble when we’re all on the same page on a site and a server.

That’s mostly rambling, so feel free to glaze over some of that last part (I probably would, too) but ! More public plotting ! Public character talk channels where I can ask what everyone’s favorite food is! Or what they wear to bed! Or if they’re allergic to anything! It’s just so nice to be in the Know.

Oh, man, I really do agree with the 'rp friends' bit. My own site aspirations are a bit of a pet project, more than something I expect to finish any time soon for the sake of a 'home' for myself, but I agree that I don't really have a super big community of core friends who do play-by-post anymore. I have friends who play on discord, but it's not really the same.

I'm a little shy by nature, and I'm criminally bad at keeping in touch. I think there are people I wish I'd messaged and tried to make friends with in DMs/more closely while I could, but it's really easy to feel like the outsider. In that sense, I think I do understand and 'get' people who ghost sites. Sometimes it's easier to run away when you don't really feel like you belong. It's a big leap to take, especially when you aren't coming in with a friend or a connection.

In a happier sense, though, (sorry for whatever that was up there!) I really like small-knit communities, too! I think I (as a roleplayer/writer) do tend to look more at activity over how big a memberbase is. If a member base is small, but they're posting pretty consistently (3-4 posts a day on the whole site is enough to me, usually), it's just as inviting as a big member base that's racking up the same amount of posts per day. People, at their core, really care about reliability; it's just that I think it's harder and harder to find those reliable spaces when you're too scared to take the first jump. I'm scared, too.