I don’t think I’ve even encountered this. High-stakes stories make sense from a storytelling perspective, and most sites I see proudly boast character-drive narratives. In other words, the site is predominantly a setting. It makes sense that you have to forge your own high-stakes story.

Could you explain what you mean exactly? 

I love writing but i hate writing
I love coding but i hate coding
I love cooking but i hate cooking

Starting to see a vicious pattern

i see this too and it makes me sad. you can include character subplots in the main site narrative, but i find more and more that sites are just completely missing that these days. i wouldn't say that personal character subplots get more important though...? it's just a bunch of people messing around in a sandbox. seems like it's all the rage these days, i'm happy for the people who enjoy it. but to me that's like having a D&D campaign where the DM explains the world to you and then doesn't say anything else... i'd just be confused what we're all here for.

honestly trying to do plots with more than 5 people is kinda a crapshoot. TTRPGs have ruined plot-driven play-by-post for me.

*sits down with coffee*

man i have to poop

Do you ever feel like you're a character in the Sims? You fix one stat, only for another to drop, and suddenly you're scrambling to meet the next need? That's my life right now.

to riff off of my beloved wife and op, i agree with xeno wholeheartedly, but i wanna add my two cents to it regardless bc im insufferable and have a lot of thoughts on this lol.

i think the way op describes character/plot-driven is kind of setting everything up for disaster because they're positioned as opposites and i don't think that's necessarily true. character plots should be encouraged even in a plot-focused rp, and they should be able to run alongside the main plot with stakes and the power to affect the mainline plot. writing and roleplaying are collaborative by their very nature and every character should get their MC moment - to do that, you need people to get invested and buy in with their own personal plots which you can then, as staff, reward with helping them get there.

i've noticed as well that a lot of sandboxes are not actually sandboxes. they are sandboxes in that they have no plot and the members are expecting to create it out of thin air, but the admins don't actually want to let the players have complete powers over their setting and change things. now, i completely understand not wanting to have your setting ruined (i'm finishing up vanaheimr right now for a november release after my holidays, and i'm quite proud of my worldbuilding thank you.); but if you don't provide plots/a reason for people to be engaged with your roleplay then they will inevitably get bored and there cannot be the same amount buy in.

i noticed somewhere that kuroya noted that people are busier and less invested, this is true. but maybe it's a cycle - there are sites that are easier to set up, so people join them bc there's nothing else. there's not much for them to do there, so they leave. so the sites close down. people think there's no point making something with an in-depth plot, so they don't make them. i am a notorious slice of life hater, if i wanted to have casual little rps i would go to nightclubs/cafes in ffxiv instead tbh, but i think post by post rps are naturally suited to extensive plotting and wordplay craft more than any other rp medium, including ttrpgs.

so, getting back to the idea of character driven/plot driven. i think that there needs to at least be a site plot (the site plot can be something incredibly simple mind you) that gives characters something to react to and be dynamic. not every site plot needs to be a world ending event or complex political landscape, but i feel that giving players at least something to play with outside their control is genuinely a good thing to do. like xeno said, dropping players into a world without any direction is a recipe for boredom. i've been a dm for 10+ years and i would never simply leave my players in somewhere like waterdeep or barovia without at least something to hook them in and get them engaged, even if that's something as minor as a barfight or a thief in alleyway, or as world threatening as a red dragon.

yes, not everyone is interested in SOL. but also by the same token, people do want plots and not sandboxes. gatcha games are wrong with a lot of things in the video game industry - they did not kill rp though.

Grand stakes aren’t exclusive to gacha games. Rather than gacha games, i think it’s just forum rpers realizing a plot is important in keeping the site going and running, the sane way conflict is necessary in stories. Sandbox and sol rp’s have a different direction so motivation is different. But if you’re crafting a lore, you want something for people to play on with and loosely bind them together so ppl can come up with plots.

My neighbors and i used to fight with sticks and larp about bombs and power-granting birds to save the world when i was 7 and gacha didnt exist back in my days!!!

you touch on a really on a interesting point as someone who has roots in xiv rp too (and god above, i hated it, mean girl central) yes, of course you won't let an entire server join bc that is thousands of people. but i have successfully ran a plot for an fc of around 50 people where they got all have their plots and moments because they bought in and understood boundaries so it really is just finding people and setting their expectations correctly. i stated earlier somewhere that i think a lot of people curtail their more ambitious plans bc people might take advantage of it - and my answer is that bans and blocks exist for a reason. you should just enjoy yourself and go for it!!!!! it'll look different for everyone.

personally, i have zero experience with sol. i am a hater, if there is not dragons or lovecraftian influences in my rp then what am i doing. i come at this as always from a solely original rp perspective so i can't really speak as to SOL cliqueness.

Have the Fairy Godmother's song from Shrek 2 suddenly in my brain