well it's been a while and it was slightly wild so i'll dump details!
- covid happened like a few months or maybe even less when i was released from rehab (depression, ptsd, s/cide)
- and consequently found out the comm i was in and all the online friends i knew hated me now and had my name spread around be pre-banned
- WHICH!! did help me realize that i shouldn't care about what they think. i know the truth in my heart and when i was thinking about arguments and defending myself, i realized that no one supported more than me. i learned to love myself and that got me out of depression lol.
- i got banned in a site that i literally brought back to life for over a year and continued helped building and then eventually stepped down (which i told the admin about in advance) but they saw it fit to remove me lol. people are ungrateful and jealous and the exp made me basically very skeptical and distrustful of rpers nowadays
- so covid-related! and my mom and i were trying to heal our relationship by being honest and it was working. but then she got into fake media and propaganda, and still kept going out. caught covid. at this point in time, it was still very scary. she was old. she always complained about us not loving her enough but now she's acting like an idiot basically.
- i'm also quite sickly btw.
- but she wouldn't respect the boundaries and quarantine and what pissed the heck out of me was when she lied about it. we were healing our relationship. we're not supposed to lie anymore, and i absolutely hate lies.
- left home. stayed with my sister
- my mom threatened to get my dogs be put in the pound because she plans on moving (and btw; our pounds here have very low adoption rate so... it was basically a death sentence). it's not like she's moving yet and listen - she still hasn't lmao. so i knew it was all a jab to hurt me but i didn't realize she would do that. she would just try to hurt me and involve the dogs. so i took two out of three of them. i had to leave one of them behind because there were already 2 corgi's here who are a menace...
- one of my two dogs died! haha
haha... quarantine made it hard to get him the hepl he needed although i know my complaceny was ultimately to be blamed. and his vet. but hey, it's my lost while he gets lots of money
and i guess that's quarantine story! it was already almost 2 years ago since my dog died. i do still grieve about him sometimes, especially on his deathversary. but what massively helped was having a shrine. i don't believe in afterlife or heaven. but it helped to just have a ritual, to have something help carry your grief. <3
edit: oh yeah in ph politics and election... i don't even want to talk about it. we're fcked. congrats to brazil though. nice to see some W for demoracy