People are almost always safe from ghosts and ghouls and the living dead in daylight, and they're usually safe from them at night if they're with others, but when a person is alone in the dark, all bets are off. Men and women alone in the dark are like open doors, Jessie, and if they call out or scream for help, who knows what dread things may answer? Who knows what some men and women have seen in the hour of their solitary deaths? Is it so hard to believe that some of them may have died of fear, no matter what the words on the death certificates say?

-Gerald's Game by Stephen King

Shipping is weird. You get the best stories from shipping, and also the wildest drama from shipping. I think what has helped me the most is realizing everyone wants different things from ships. So I communicate the kind of shipper I am ASAP, hoping to avoid situations where I won't match expectations and vice versa.

I used to think, oh, we can just write and vibe something out and see what happens~! But doing that, without fail, created so much drama for me in my formative roleplay years. There's an assumption that a 'good' ship partner will do XYZ, and everyone has a different idea of what that 'good' ship partner looks like -- I've even met people who only consider 'ships' something has a cemented endgame, which I found surprising (I use the term much more loosely).

It's funny how something so simple can become complicated for people so quickly.

I think often mods are treated as people who don't have wants and desires of their own as roleplayers, to be honest. They're seen as a roleplay vending machine -- or at least, I began to feel like one near the end, hah.

Setting boundaries is important for everyone, but absolutely essential for mods. I suspect I let people walk over mine without realizing it for too long.

(And thank you! It's been very rewarding to just write for myself again, self-indulgently and shamelessly.)

When I look back at mod regrets, the thing that circles my mind the most is how worryingly good I got at people-pleasing. It's been on my mind lately.

I tend to go hard in plots, but the faction I was revamping had a lot of anxious people who wanted everyone to always get along both IC and OOC. When I put great effort into faction stories that felt rewarding to me, I was repeatedly disappointed by the lack of interest in anything that was high-drama. I figured out which roleplayers were sensitive and easily hurt, I figured out what roleplay they enjoyed and responded best to, and I figured out which roleplay experiences I put forward that intimidated them most.

Without realizing it, I started diluting my stories so that they were less satisfying to write and more enjoyable to an audience that wanted something I didn't want to give. Hard edges in complicated characters were softened. NPCs who were 'cuter' got way more traction than those who were severe and intimidating. I began to resent that my favorite stories kept being ignored in favor of the ones I phoned in.

Even in conflict events, I found myself frustrated by this phenomenon. Evil actions by a sympathetic villain were interpreted as morally gray, and attempts to erase ambiguity by worsening the evil behavior was still ignored to the point of OOC roleplayer distress when characters who supported that villainy had consequences.

It was exhausting, trying to field people's fragile IC/OOC boundaries all the time. It felt like I was being punished any time I wrote the stories I personally enjoyed.

I think of this sometimes, because it's a good reminder that community-fit is so real in roleplay. You can give your all to something in a creative hobby, but if it doesn't give something back to you then it's not a worthwhile use of your time, even if other people love what you're creating. When modding (or roleplay in general) begins to feel like a job and not like a fun creative outlet, that's the sign for me it's time to let go.

Being a member in a community that welcomes what I want to write has been so much more rewarding than shaping stories in a community that didn't appreciate what I had to give.

General thought: it should be normalized for roleplayers to change their minds.

Whether it's closing a thread early, leaving a ship that isn't as fulfilling as you thought it'd be, or stepping out of a plot that didn't give you personal joy, or archiving a character that isn't vibing: it's okay to do these things! It doesn't make you a bad person. It means you tried something and it didn't go how you thought it would, or you agreed to something you later realized you didn't want to do. This is all very normal.

There is so much shame/fear sometimes about 'flakiness,' or being seen as inconsistent, or hurting people's feelings, when often the best thing to do for all involved is just say, as politely as you can, "I know this is what we were doing, and I'm sorry if this is disappointing, but I'd like to do something else now." You don't even have to give details! This statement is more than enough to bow out of something!

So many people either 'ghost' someone or pretend they like writing something they don't so they don't have to have that conversation, and it baffles me.

There is no nobility in writing a thread/ship/plot/character that makes you miserable. You don't owe anyone that, not in a pretendy funtimes hobby.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

“I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jeannette McCurdy is an absolutely stunning and heartbreaking memoir. Highly recommend the audiobook by the author, which is available on Spotify premium.

Okay this is extra work but: I had a little wiki once upon a time tracking lore internally for mods and it was a lifesaver. Mods would all just group-source our information and share our little tidbits, link relevant RP docs, etc.

Was super nice to reference when I couldn't remember something. Honestly, I think it's why I lean towards more detailed character bios, plotters, and trackers as a member now. I love having all my information in one place.

My new manager is my favorite and I will fight anyone who tries to take her from me.

Work is so much better omg.

I’ve struggled a bit to get back into the rhythm of being social again. Especially with family and loved ones who I do care about, but struggle to show it the way I want to. This weekend is the first time in awhile I feel like doing so hasn’t been some exhausting, overwhelming effort. It’s nice.

What the title says: how many threads do you take on at a time?

I've noticed people have vastly different approaches, and lately I've been cutting down my thread count so I can focus on several stories at a time.

For me personally, I start feeling like I have a 'lot' of threads when I'm juggling near 30. Lately I'm running closer to 15-20 at a time, which has felt much more sustainable. Any less though and I think I'd feel too slow for my taste.

What about you?

I'm absolute garbage at this. Resizing and cropping is all I do, and often I'm told I do it wrong.

Luckily I have friends who enjoy making hovers who take pity on me. And who will always notice when I try and sneak in a hover I made myself... and will sigh heavily and fix it. Lmao.