In short? Emotional regulation.

Normally a job does something to greatly upset me and I wind up forced to job hunt early out of necessity due to my productivity nosediving. My current job has threatened to do that to me at least two times now, and is veering on a third, but a combination of ADHD diagnosis, therapy, and medication has given the needed ability to step back from the intensity of my feelings and just... let a job be a job.

Similarly I was a highly anxious person for a long time, and it's strange to realize that anxiety is no longer the way I motivate myself. Instead I try and rebuild the structure of my routine to better facilitate my success. It's not always successful, and I have good and bad days, but the anxiety took a toll on me and it's a relief not to have it weighing on me now.

If I'm to be honest, a big improvement as well has been understanding the difference between empathizing with others and taking too much responsibility for other people's feelings. I can sense a distinct shift in how I handle other people's emotions. It used to make me viscerally uncomfortable to know people were upset with me, and I'd find myself doing everything I could to try and 'fix' the problem, regardless of whether or not that blame was actually fair to me. Taking a step back from people's intense feelings and focusing on what I can control is something I'm getting better at every day, though it's still a struggle.

There's a lot I'd like to improve upon in my life, but this change between my twenties and my thirties has been a positive one.

I feel like we've swapped journeys, hahaha. I usually have written 'good' characters overcoming what has felt like an insurmountable darkness, where their healing and redemption is the focus of their story -- they refuse to let their trauma define them. It's super fun and rewarding storytelling, and I hope you're having a great time with it.

I'm going the opposite way now and writing a slow and inevitable descent into tragic villainy. It's been exciting for me to write a character who has access to storytelling avenues I can't write in 'good' characters, exploring emotions that I wouldn't want to IRL. There's something so satisfying about exploring new character storytelling directions, isn't there?

This stuff is my JAM. I like to take it a step further and track arcs as well -- like, threads behind certain large plot points. I'll do trackers dedicated to specific long-running character relationships as well, breaking them story by story so that people can follow that journey when snooping my tracker.

I am a very extra person, though.

Directly into the website box like an insane person.

Specifically, my process is this:

• Copy previous post's template.
  
• Delete the fill-in post template I keep meaning to delete from my default.
• Paste the template and then begin typing my post and making any needed template changes.
• Double-check I'm clicking 'Submit' and not 'Save Changes.'
• Submit, reread, then edit every single typo I find until I'm satisfied.

Me. All of this is me. Nothing gives me greater joy than outlining a stupidly Wikipedia-level explanation of my character, her history, her motivations, and her psychological profile. I will gladly sink a stupid amount of time into this, and enjoy updating this with relationship trackers, arc trackers, etc.

I also really, really, really enjoy solo thread opportunities to explore 'what ifs,' flashbacks, or introspective scenes. I have to be in the mood, but when I'm in the zone, I'm gone.

Making playlists is great, too. Sometimes I have entire playlists for different character moods or relationships. Often, I find I have a song for a thread as I write, because I spam it on repeat as I 'm writing.

The threads be patiently waiting for posts as Palworld consumes the lives of everyone I know. It be like that sometimes.

While I create a new character every time I choose a new site, I shamelessly reuse tropes and themes. I joke my old characters are prototypes of my current one, because they all feel familiar and like her in some way. I tend to center on themes of tragedy and loneliness, and this has resulted in many character manifestations. The artist who hid her pain behind a cheerful socialite's facade. The silently suffering martyr who sacrificed everything for the greater good, only for no good deed to go unpunished. The vicious survivor who cannot overcome her wounds of betrayal, and who only knows how to inflict that pain on others.

My current character borrows aspects from each of them, but in a different iteration. It's familiar, like stepping into comfortable and worn out shoes, but still novel enough that I get excited to see what she will do next.

I've had staffing result in some of my best friendships that have lasted the test of time.

...And I've had staffing change my opinions on people I otherwise loved and adored, because my god, not everyone is designed to be both an ideal coworker and an ideal friend. Modding is way, way closer to a coworker relationship, in my experience.

I'd say it's better to get an idea of what your own personal work style is, and search for collaborators that work well with you. If you're choosing from among your friends, go in with this approach too.

I really prefer female FCs that look like, well, adults. I don't know how else to put this, but sometimes in animanga, the female FCs look so, so young.

I'm finally getting a proper manager to work with! I'm so happy, I hate being my own manager so much, oh my god. I'm like an incredibly productive machine that takes directions extremely well, but gets short-circuited and delayed when asked to prioritize my own time management and workload. Operations is not my strong suit, and the new person has so far been wonderful.

Please, please, please let this result in less imposter syndrome in 2024.

I was a fiction writer and avid reader first! Big theater nerd too. Love singing, love acting, love writing with emotion. Naturally fell into fanfiction, which led me to roleplaying in various mediums, which led me to playing with making indie visual novels and choose-your-own-adventure style games. Never finished one, which is a shame, but learning the coding was helpful either way. Definitely helps with things like forum roleplay, too!

As I get older I am better at telling myself when the negative voice in my head is an unreliable narrator. But something about this time of year sure makes everything feel lower. It’s a little bittersweet that festivities about togetherness remind you of things you’re still grieving. It’s mostly better. The occasional mood dip catches me unawares though.