Affiliates, directories, ad sites, cryptic dreams, ??, and sometimes I still look at advertisement boards on forums. And being invited, and sometimes posting search threads. Toyhou.se is a place I can sometimes find RP forums that are only advertised there though I find that it's rarely anything I'm interested in playing on the moment.

• I returned to RP this year, pretty much in the middle of the year, so I think a main goal here is to stick to it! Keep writing, with new people and the people I have already written with. It’s been going well, so, I want to keep it up. 
• Be more active in approaching people and joinning sites. Do it scared.
• Make even more open threads like it’s 2013.
• Secret fourth thing and more
  

Dec is stressful but...I love Secret Santas, including the online ones because well, I'll take any excuse to make gifts for people in the form of art or writing etc etc

related to the above: I love site events where you get randomly matched with other writers, I've done it a few times since returning to RP and while not every thread is a hit, it is quite a fun experience and it's one of those event types that I will likely join in every time

characters

guh! I want to but *static*

moths

Here, have my word slop personal anecdotes, not sure how much it will help but --

Anxiety and excitement/other more positively regarded emotions tend to go hand in hand and it’s... if I care about something, there is a higher chance I will be anxious about it? I often take a “do it scared” approach, or at least I try to. While I experience a disordered amount of anxiety, it also helps for me to remember that anxiety alone is an emotion that everyone feels

Sharing creative work with others feels vulnerable in a few senses and it’s easy to flinch myself away from sharing my art or writing — and with RP, both combine — and sequester all my work away so that none can judge it in any way...and none else can like it, or give feedback that I want and need. This gets worsened by bad experiences to reference anxieties from but it helps for me to recall all of the positive things, such as compliments, or the ways I’ve improved thanks to being brave enough to share.

As a matter of fact! I still struggle in showing other people my art or writing, but I have been getting better at it over time.

I think about how much reading others’ writing and writing with them has given me joy, and try not to convince myself that I’m incapable of being someone people enjoy playing with too. I make it clear I appreciate direct and clear communication — when it comes down to social interaction, I dislike being forced to read between the lines since I’m often wrong or just bad at it — because that is what I like to give others too.

...and another thing I do is that I read replies almost exclusively on mobile, which helps for some reason? I don’t know how, or how, but it’s just much easier for me to read RP replies on mobile and I find myself avoiding it less that way? Change the environment, change the way I feel, maybe? I can't, for the life of me, write on mobile, I don't possess that kind of eldritch power, but it's easier for me to read them this way.

It’s been all about trying to adjust my mentality over time, to moderate amounts of success, but being gentle with myself too.

I had maybeee half a day of energy and clarity and now it's back to my regular tired/confused/head empty. yay ^x.x

been thinking a lot about RSS feeds lately

centipedes