I've always considered something high stakes if the consequences of failure are immediate and devastating to the character.
A character interviews to become renter of a new house. Their old home is pretty shabby. They see renting this new house as the first step in a series that'll improve their life and usher in a new beginning, a fresh take, a stairway to happiness. The interview becomes high stakes because failing means the character feels condemned to the hellhole they call home, and a rejection of his aspirations to lead a better life.
A character talks to a boy because they want to make a new friend. The character has a hard time making friends and failed continuously, and this is a last hail Mary to see whether they can at all make friends, or if they should give up and accept they're going to be a friendless loser till the day they die. Rejection of friendship becomes rejection of them as a person, rejection of their existence and ability to connect to others.
A character always sits next to the same girl in class but they never talk. He's attracted to her, and wants to date her, but isn't sure how. He decides he'll ask her out on Valentine's Day, and if she rejects him then that's it, his love's not meant to blossom, he'll give up on her. The stakes are high because he's banking everything on this one and only shot at success, because he's closed off the door to any future if he falls now.
Not all high stakes are equal, but they should all matter a great deal to the character, even if it's something you can recover from eventually. It just doesn't feel like that for them. (If failure causes a great enough crisis to fuel your next thread, you've probably raised the stakes high enough.)
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