Personally, I don't equate length with effort. Whenever I edit writing, often I have to cut things, not add to them. After all, people are inclined to repeat things, meander, or get lost in minute details irrelevant to the scene.
I'm not privy to people's lives, so I don't like to assume things based on circumstantial evidence at best. I have no way of telling whether someone made 5 minutes of time in a busy work schedule to reply to a post, or if they spent 15 minutes writing while they were waiting for the bus. The former comes off as someone who is more enthusiastic, even if their shorter writing time usually means a shorter post.
If I were to describe a filthy kitchen, I might write something as such:
I spent ten minutes on that, but it's not very long. Does that mean it's low effort?
Turn it around. Say roleplaying is like having two actors in an impromptu play, bouncing off each other. One of the actors walks to the front of the stage and holds a 10-minute soliloquy while the other sits in a corner, sipping some water, checking their insta, maybe write a post.
Often when I read lengthy posts, I find that they're a lot about the character, their experiences, feelings, memories and whatnot, and the hooks to reply to often aren't more numerous than I would find in a short post. If you want to be judgmental and negative, you could say these posts are written for the author themselves, to show how smart and emotional they are.
But we don't know, because people's reasons for roleplay differ and writing such lengthy insights into characters may be cathartic or therapeutic.
My point is, if we want to be negative, it's easy to judge both short and lengthy posts as either being not enough or too much effort, as being unenthusiastic or too self-centred. It mostly comes down to what your expectations are. If you expect your writing partner to return lengthy posts because that's what you enjoy, great. Communicate that if your partner isn't meeting your expectations.
I think we should normalise pulling out of threads because they aren't sparking joy or filling a need. So much resentment can be avoided if we're upfront and honest with each other, and accept that not all writers have a spark.
EDIT: I realise I overlooked the question, which is "When is it too long?" Sorry, I have a short attention span.
Nonetheless, I think that depends on circumstances. A riveting post is easier to read than a meandering one. Proper formatting helps keep your focus too. If you stay to the point and the writing is sharp, I'll have an easier time focusing on your 3,000 word post. By contrast, if you meander and launch into poetic waxing, then your 500 word post could come off as many times longer than the 3,000 word one.
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